Earlier this week, I asked my husband Matt what he thought was the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
“That time you got in a fight with that bear?” answered the smart-ass Love of my Life.
Well, there is that. But I really don’t feel like I’ve done anything particularly brave in my life, and that is when Matt threw me for a loop by giving me a thoughtful, “a-ha! moment” response.
It doesn’t have to be brave for everybody else; it just has to be brave for you.
He is right. Did you hear that, Matt? YOU. ARE. RIGHT.
That’s me on the right, in a bear suit.
Yes, fighting a bear is universally recognized as a brave, albeit foolhardy, thing to do. My own bravery, on the other hand, has happened on a much smaller scale – so small that often I am the only one who notices.
That’s okay. Because I am brave when I step out of my comfort zone. I am brave when I try something new that I am afraid to try, or when I take a risk and leave myself open to criticism, ridicule, or failure. I also leave myself open to growth and success.
I was brave when…
… I lived on campus at college and only went home for holidays, even though home was thirty minutes away.
…I took an internship at a large metropolitan hospital despite being scared to death I would screw up and fail.
…I spent eight weeks traveling around New England alone as a college admissions counselor.
I did climb this – it was easier than fighting a bear.
You may snicker at my list; these acts may not seem brave to you at all. But as the wise and handsome sage Matt said, they don’t have to be brave for everybody else. They are brave for me. I had to shed the comfort and safety of my own state of normal and do something un-Dana.
And while I received no commendations or medals for my personal bravery, I did reap the rewards. I became more independent and self-confident, so that these acts that were once brave for me are now just a piece of who I am.
After Matt’s smart-ass response to my question, I begged him to be serious. What’s the bravest thing I’ve done? “I don’t know,” he said. “Start your blog?”
Hmm. That certainly was brave for me. I risked failure and embarrassment. I put myself out there to be judged by friends, family and strangers. I still do, every time I hit “publish.”
But is it the bravest thing I’ve EVER done? I don’t think so. I don’t think there is any one bravest thing. There is a lifetime of brave things, some tiny and some huge. Life happens when I step out of my comfort zone. Life gets interesting and challenging and bigger and new.
What’s the last brave thing you did – not brave for everyone, but brave for you?
Hi from SITS! I loved this post…I have to think about what I would say in answer to this question and I like your take on it.
Thank you Susan!I’m intrigued by your blog name; I hope it’s not literal!
I think this is great! I think acts of bravery comes in so many shapes and sizes, and we are our own barometer for what counts as brave. I think the most recent act of bravery I did was to become a mom for the first time (I’m just over 10 weeks into it!). I really think that everyone who becomes a parent is brave–not to be cliche, but it is seriously the toughest job out there (but also so worth it!). Happy SITS day.
I completely agree – congratulations on your new baby, Bev!
Hi, visiting you from The SITS Girls! Congratulations on being featured. Very nice post. Courage comes in many shapes and sizes, in many forms and flavors, especially in real life. One of the bravest things I’ve seen was my sister, fighting an angry rattle snake to save her beloved dog with nothing but a shovel in her hands…and she killed it and saved her Buddy.
Wow – that’s even better than fighting a bear! Especially because I really didn’t do that. Thanks for coming to visit!
Your husband’s response is perfect. I absolutely agree with his take on this. I think the only person who really knows our limitations is us. It’s a very personal thing…it resides deep within and thus can’t really be compared to anyone else. For instance, what may be a challenge for someone else, may be as easy as ABC for another. Whatever you do that challenges you to step out of your comfort zone and face something that gives you the heebie jeebies…that is bravery.
Exactly! And then that something doesn’t give you the heebie jeebies anymore, or at least not as much.
Hi! I’m visiting from SITS. I love your list of bravery! I think mine was when I transferred to a new college on a whim and didn’t have housing for the first 6 months of my move. I bounced from couch to couch.
Wow – that is brave. I hope the new college was a good fit for you, and that you eventually found a permanent bed!
I love this line “these acts that were once brave for me are now just a piece of who I am.” that is very true for all of us! Once we have put ourselves out there doing something that makes us nervous or scared it becomes apart of who we are.
Happy SITS DAY!
Love, Keia
Thank you Keia, and thank you for sharing on Twitter too. I’m feeling so much love on my SITS day!
That is a very wise comment indeed and oh so very true 🙂 We are all different and as such our capabilities will dictate the threshold of our comfort zone and what we can accomplish. Sometimes it’s the little things that take the greatest push and therefore, the highest amount of bravery. 🙂 Have a great one and happy SITS Day Dana! -Iva
You’re right, Iva – sometimes the little things are the hardest, even if they are easy for someone else. Thanks for visiting today!
OHMYGOSH how I LOVE this Dana!!! Gushing at your hubs insight right now!! I am SO glad you chose this piece for SITS…
I am taking this one to my heart. I will be using it often and always- not only with me, but my kids. What an incredibly powerful perspective to have about being brave. Any time we step into our fear, THAT is being brave. I probably step into my fear every single day.
Little things that others wouldn’t seem significant or worthy of that powerful word- are my victories of bravery.
LOVE. THIS.
Thank you Chris – I really loved this piece too. I think we should step into our fear everyday – that’s what makes us grow.
Bravest thing huh..? That would have to be that I am Catholic and my husband is NOT – he’s an atheist. Coming out that day – definitely the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
Nice getting to meet you, love the bear suit. 🙂
Cristina
P.S. Stopped in from SITS 🙂
Nice to meet you too, Cristina. That sounds like it was difficult for you to do, and definitely brave. I suppose it went well if he’s your husband 🙂
Actually, I converted after we were married civilly. But yes, eventually, it went well!
Your husband is right (eek!). Bravery is different for everyone. For me, it’s just putting myself out there when others might not. Doing a video livestream in front of hundreds of people was something I considered brave. Once I did it, it didn’t seem so bad!
I’d consider that brave too, Jennifer. And please don’t tell my husband he is right – he will totally rub it in. 😉
I agree. Any time you step outside of your comfort zone you are brave.
The last thing I did that was brave was probably the two posts I wrote on Saturday about what it’s like to have a mental illness. Especially the one with what I wrote in the middle of an emotional breakdown. I knew my thoughts might make me look completely crazy, but I thought it was important to share them. But it was still scary.
I can imagine that it was scary, and that does make brave for you. But sharing may help someone who is reading feel like they are not alone.
Haha, I love your husband’s response. I am laughing because my husband is a smart ass too and always saying something ridiculous. Great post, and I like your take on this. I would have a hard time answering this question too, I’ve never been a big risk taker. I like the idea that my bravery has come in small things that were outside of my comfort zone.
Me too – taking smaller risks is still brave.
Matt is so, wise. So, so wise. And his sentiment to true! It just has to be brave for you. I think for me, the bravest things I’ve ever done are the ones that have felt the scariest yet that I’ve done anyway. At times, this has been as simple as having difficult yet honest conversations. Love this post.
Thanks, Ilene. You are right – even conversations can be brave. Sometimes they are braver than anything else you do.
Flash mob? How cool is that?! I never thought of starting a blog as brave, but when you put it that way, it really is. You are putting yourself out there and that IS brave. I think for me it would probably be stepping out of my comfort zone. Public speaking is one of those things for me. I was so nervous to do it, and now it’s not that big of a deal (as long as I’m comfortable with my topic). But I haven’t wrestled a bear or anything like that. 🙂
Well, we can’t all wrestle a bear, Michelle. That would just be silly 🙂
My friend actually did run into a bear while running…fortunately she did not have to wrestle it! He did not chase her, thank goodness. She told me she made herself look as big as possible and growled at him! Then backed away slowly and once it looked like he was not following, she ran as fast as she could. I would have been a mess!
Jeez – that’s why I don’t run. 😉
“Brave for you”. Wow. I love that. Smart husband who married a fabulously smart person like you:))) I so agree with that. It’s also brave for you at a certain time in your life. I remember when driving downtown could be considered “Brave for me”. Now? It’s nothing. It’s all about challenging yourself in the space you are in.
Good point, Leah. There are things that would have been brave for me ten years ago that are just par for the course now. I guess that’s what you would call growth and maturity, right? Because being in a flash mob is so mature.
I really really like your take on this – or your husband’s… Haha. It’s the things that we stepped out of our comfort zone and became different, stronger, wiser, changed.. that make us brave.
Although, I really like the bear suit! 🙂
Happy Weekend!
You’re right, Kate – doing those things to change us. Every time we do something brave for us, it makes it a little easier to do something else brave the next time. Like fight with a bear 😉
Matt is definitely wise. I do think the things you mention are brave though too. I could never perform in a flash mob in public!
It was a REALLY big group of people, and I did feel a little foolish. But I’m so glad I did it!
That is it exactly. It’s what is brave for you! (Gosh, I hate it when husbands are right!) You’ll hear no snickering from me. I am not known for my universal bravery. I am a cautious Clem, so stepping outside of my comfort zone is BIG. –Lisa PS. We totally need the video of the flash mob!!
Yes, Matt is basking in the glow of all the compliments he’s received in the comments. And the video will be up in a future post, I promise!
I love the way your husband defined it – brave for you (or me) is different than brave for many people!!
I think when I packed up and drove to Alabama (from TX) for grad school was one of the bravest things I’ve done – I didn’t even know where AL was located (sad) and just had a road map and my stuff (way before cell phones!!).
Looking back, that experience helped me in many ways – when they boys and I go on trips where Chris is working, I have no problem exploring the area with just the boys (we saw all of NJ, Philadelphia and part of New York that way).
I got comfortable exploring new places when I was an admissions counselor – after getting lost so many times (with no cell phone or GPS), it didn’t bother me anymore.
Okay, you have done two things I TOTALLY would love to do: 1) be a college admissions counselor, and 2) be in a flash mob. Those are awesome! You are so right, it’s about ‘was it brave for you’ and that is different for all of us. Great post 🙂
Thanks, Sarah. I did love that job – it was perfect for a young 20-something with no kids. And the flash mob embarrassed my kids – so that was a winner too!
probably the time i sang karaoke. oh, wait… i haven’t done it yet. i was, however, your partner in said flashmob and that was definitely a bucket list moment.
Let’s find karaoke on our next girls’ weekend and do it! And I found the flash mob video – that may be going up on the blog! I just watched it and was cracking up at our killer dance moves.
I agree that each person’s definition of bravery is different. What someone else might consider brave – like running with the bulls – I would consider to be foolhardy. I think bravery is challenging your self in small ways to encourage yourself to grow. I DO think that you blog bravely. After all, you published a vlog!!! Very brave gal!!
You’re right, Mo – I forgot about the vlog. That was super brave for me! Running with the bulls would be life threatening for me.
i think the flash mob is really awesome. any chance there is a video of that?!
Why yes there is 🙂 It was a huge flash mob and more like a big dance number in the middle of the mall, but it was fun. I’ll write a post about it before Christmas.
As soon as I graduated college I got on a plane and flew to Asia for 7 months to tour in a musical. I remember being terrified and thinking “there’s no turning back now” as I boarded the plane at JFK, it wound up being the greatest experience of my life.
It’s wonderful when your bravery turns out to be so rewarding, isn’t it? What an experience!
What a great way to describe bravery. I love it. I would say the blog thing is the most recent one…I am still sort of chicken and hide behind an avatar of tulips or a childhood picture of myself on Facebook. I updated my G+ profile picture today and then put the tulips back up a mere two hours later. Not so brave after all! 😉
Umm, yes Kim – we would like to see your smiling face on your blog! I think it helps readers connect with you. C’mon, if I can post a video of myself doing bloopers, surely your photo can’t be worse than that! Maybe in time you’ll get the courage to do it 🙂
I love that definition of brave! I knew right away what my “bravest thing” was but I worried that others might find it silly or insignificant. Your hubby’s point is spot on – what is easy for one person might be something very courageous for another!
I just read your post, Lisa. Yours was brave for you, and it would be brave for me too. Maybe not for others, but I’m sure they would have their own brave things.
You rock D ! And you are brave and smart thanks for inspiring many people like me! I really enjoy your blog.
I would like to share one of the bravest things I have done in my life but I am not that brave!
Aww, thanks for commenting, Aida – I really appreciate you reading. Maybe you can share with me in person 😉 Not everyone is an oversharer like me; a blog will do that to you!
Hmmm, I’m suddenly envisioning a bear in a Christmas flash mob at the mall … 😉
Ha! Nope, I ditched the costume for that – too hot and sweaty in there!
A lot of these things qualify as brave to me! Blogging is not for the faint of heart… 😉
I agree completely, Natalie. And that was not something I was aware of when I started blogging – it takes a lot to put yourself out there!
I think the bravest thing I ever did was to quit a job that was sucking the life out of me and making me miserable. I had nothing lined up and no idea how we could go from barely making it in two incomes to only having one income, but I did it anyway. About three weeks later the most amazing job fell into my lap and I was so thankful to be able to take it!
That’s awesome, Rabia. I love when being brave is so rewarding – you took a risk and it paid off. I’m still waiting for that amazing job to fall into my lap 🙂
This is awesome & YOU are very brave indeed!! What a great way to think about it. I completely agree with hitting that “post” button and, for me, each time I line up at the start of a race, I’m being super BRAVE!!!!
Absolutely! And I bet the feeling of accomplishment you get when you finish is amazing. I’ve only ever run one race (a 5k), and I felt awesome! And sore. I’m not really much of a runner.
Hmmm. Brave for me was going to a reception alone last weekend. Left to me I’d be at home in my jammies, reading. Socializing in big groups with lots of people I don’t really know is very intimidating, so for me, that was brave.
You illustrate my point perfectly, Alison! Going that reception alone would be fun for me, not brave. But it’s not your comfort zone, so it is very brave for you. So yay you!
What a wonderful, wise husband you have – and what a great many brave things you’ve done! Awesome stuff! Comfort zones are tough to get out of, but the sense of achievement when you do! Wow!
Well done on being Brave YOU.
Thank you, Lizzi. You are so right – the sense of achievement when I step out of my comfort zone is amazing.
First of all, I totally agree with your definition of brave. Outside of your comfort zone=brave. Second of all, I am now fixated on your flash mob bravery and I want more deets! Third and last, I think your examples ALL sound brave…for soldiers, moms or pioneers!
It was a Christmas flash mob, so maybe I’ll write a post about it in a few months, Lisa. I even have a video…
I think the bravest thing that any of us mothers have done is to have children and attempt to raise them into the best human beings we can.
I agree, Sue. And some days it takes more bravery than others, but that’s what girlfriends are for 🙂
You have some thought-provoking answers and I do agree with your husband — it just has to be brave for you. For example, skiing down a blue trail for me was very brave…for my kids or husband, or most people who are decent skiers, not a big deal. But for me it was huge because I was terrified! I like your husband’s answer about your blog, even though you don’t agree. I feel like re-launching my blog and writing about topics that are difficult for me to talk about was brave for me to do. I still question whether I’ll stick with it…
Skiing would be brave for me too, Emily. And absolutely – re-launching your blog was extremely brave. I hope you’ll stick with it, but only if you feel good about it.
Love the hubs having “serious” input. I couldn’t think of a doggone brave thing I’d done other than beat a giant flying cockroach to death and stuff along those lines.
Comfort zone is a biggie. I wish I had a thunk it!
Great post Dana.
I’m learning that when I have writer’s block my husband is a good resource. And he has the unique perspective of knowing me better than anyone else. He sees me more objectively than I see myself (does that make sense?) Hope to see you blogging again next week, Kenya!
I love your list and the point of it being brave for you. If everyone would let that sink in, there would be less ridicule for other’s actions! I despise when ppl make comments like “it’s not that big of a deal”. It is to me. Hosting the blog challenge party was my last thing! Glad y’all came 🙂 Who wants to party solo! Thx again!
Hosting the party was a brave thing – I’m glad you took the risk!
It’s amazing that when we think of something like bravery we are comparing even that to what others will think. I’m glad he got you thinking about the bravest moments you’ve had that were the most significant for you. As a reader I’m more interested in getting to know Dana and learning today what was un-Dana once upon a time showed me just a little bit more about you xoxo
I appreciate that, Brittnei. Knowing what others feel is brave for them does tell you quite a bit about who they are.
I love that. “Brave for you.” There are things that seem like nothing to others, and make me have anxiety attacks. So if I do those things, even if they seem like nothing to everyone else, well that makes what I did an act of bravery, right? Right.
Brave for me. Reaching out instead of reaching in. Opening up. Writing for part of a book. And of course, photographing a wedding.
Exactly. I knew you would get it – I felt a little like I was channeling you when I wrote this (and I felt good about this post). And that made me feel brave for me.
Great answers, Dana, and I would have to say they qualify as brave for me, too. I am not an “out of the box” type person, and brave is not a word that describes me. The flash mob is actually super impressive, in my opinion! Go you! (And your husband is a pretty wise guy. Like, actually wise. Not a wise-guy. Well, maybe that, too…)
Ooh, and congrats on your win- I totally voted for you! 😉
Thanks Stephanie! I’m not an out of the box type person either, so it’s these little acts of bravery that count for me. And my husband is both; he’s wise and a wise guy.
Yes! Life starts outside of our comfort zone! Like the time I went to a traditional bath house in Germany. No clothes. Definitely required personal bravery. But I’m really glad I did it!
Wow – that sounds cool – a little scary, but cool. Bravery is usually something we don’t regret, isn’t it?
It was cool. If you want to read about it:
Part I
Part II
Wow, you. I’m sortof in awe at how similarly we answered today’s prompt. You’re so right. It doesn’t have to be brave for anybody but us. I had a hard time with this one as my husband has been in Kuwait, Iraq, and other secret weird stuff. He’s brave. He’s slept in a tent with rocket fire coming down on them. It was hard for me to say that I’m brave. But he, like your Matt, said, that his brave was different from mine, and that they’re both brave. Yay to excellent hubs. And yay to us, for being brave.
We did answer similarly – it was a good way to look at bravery since I don’t do those obvious brave things like fighting bears or sleeping in the middle of rocket fire. And yes, yay to us for being brave-for-us.
I took the blog route on this one for a good reason, but I loved your husband’s response and your reaction to it was even better. But I do agree fighting a bear is pretty damn brave and don’t think I would ever have the guts to do that. Thanks as always Dana for linking up with us!! 🙂
Always fun, Janine – and happy anniversary to you!