I wrote this post on April 4th, but I let it sit and simmer for a few weeks before posting. I don’t usually post immediately after writing, and I wanted to make sure I still felt the same way after my initial reaction. I do, so here it is.
I just read Jessica Smock’s article “What No One Ever Told Me About Blogging,” and my mind is spinning. Jessica talks about the blogger’s sophomore slump, a phrase coined by fellow blogger Deb of Urban Moo Cow.
I’m in that slump. I’ve been blogging for about 16 months, and it has brought me gifts I never imagined.
- The opportunity to contribute to two books.
- The courage to audition for and be cast in Listen to Your Mother.
- The support and encouragement of my friends and family.
- A love for writing that was tucked away in my heart somewhere, just waiting to come out.
And perhaps the most surprising but amazing gift of all: the wisdom, humor, and friendship of the unbelievable circle of bloggers I have met online. It probably sounds foolish to those of you who don’t blog; how do you become friends with people you’ve never met in person?
If you are a blogger, you know how. We pour our thoughts and feelings out on a regular basis, in an open and honest way that is often more difficult to do face to face. We read about one another’s troubles and triumphs. We have conversations in the comment section or on social media. We educate, entertain, and uplift one another.
And I love it. I’m an extrovert, a true social creature. I love making connections.
But I’m a perfectionist too. I’m an “all-in” kind of gal; if I’m not going to do it right, it’s not worth doing.
And there is the struggle. Blogging isn’t just writing your post and hitting publish. It’s promoting posts, replying to comments, visiting the blog of every commenter who has one, reading blogs of those in “my tribe,” and trying to build and maintain a presence on social media.
I’m tired. There are days when I don’t feel like doing all of this. There are days when I simply can’t do all of this.
Before my family went to Disney World last week, James asked me if I would please not do my blogging thing when we were there. I had already planned on stepping away for the week, but the fact that he asked that struck a nerve. My son knows how much time blogging takes, and he wanted my full attention on this vacation.
I gave my full attention; we had a wonderful trip. And it is not easy to get back in the swing of blogging. There was a part of me who didn’t feel like publishing this today. There was a part of me who didn’t feel like getting back in the game. A week away should have invigorated me, but I’m not quite there.
So now what? What is my end game? I think I need to examine that in order to determine where I go from here.
Do I want to be a hugely popular blogger with an enormous following?
That is certainly not my goal. It would be lovely, of course, but I’m not working towards that. Therefore, I will not run myself ragged on social media channels. I will continue to foster relationships, but not at the expense of my writing or my family.
Do I want to monetize my blog?
It would be nice to take in some cash instead of spending it. But I have discovered over the past year that I am possessive of this space. I don’t want ads everywhere. I don’t want to do a sponsored post that feels forced. I won’t review products that I would never use if compensation weren’t involved. This is MY blog, and I call the shots. I have good role models in fellow bloggers who have balanced the need to monetize with the desire to be authentic, and I’m following their lead.
Do I want to write a book?
Many bloggers do, and many start a blog while in the process of writing. That has never been my goal. Unless I wake up in the middle of the night with a fabulous idea for a novel, there is no solo book in my future.
Do I want to be paid for my writing?
This is a fairly new question that I’ve posed to myself. I think that is my end game. I would like to be paid for writing, but I’m not at a place right now to actively pursue that. So instead I will stay right here, and hopefully improve my writing skills with you as my audience.
I will continue to blog in a way that enhances my life. If it’s feeling right and good, I will do it. If it’s feeling overwhelming, I will step back. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I have to.
That’s my tagline. It’s a goal to strive towards; realistically we are not going to be amazing everyday. But I hope that I convey that message here; we all have the potential to live amazing days. And that’s something worth writing about.
Dana, oh, I hear you loud and clear! Thank you for putting into words so many of the thoughts that I’ve thought regarding the very same questions. I think that all bloggers must come to terms with why they blog and what purpose they seek from it. You sound like you have a very balanced and wise grip on matters!
My rule is my life must come before my blog, which is simple enough of a matrix to help me sift through a lot of the complexity.
Great post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts so transparently!
I’m trying to be balanced and wise, Robin. I think your rule is perfect, and really what it boils down to in the end. Thanks for weighing in!
For me, blogging is what helped me make it into my new career, and I love it. But there are definitely days where I don’t *want* to blog. But more often than not, I still feel that passion within me that’s excited about blogging, because really I’m blogging for me, and for family back home, and if readers come along over time, then that’s great too. I hate to see bloggers being down on themselves. I think if everyone just blogged honestly, and for themselves, the good things will come along when they’re meant to come along.
I think you are right, Sarah. I’m focusing on doing it for me, and that seems to be helping. Thanks for stopping by!
Dana, I think that we all have struggled with this thought. Do I continue on or give up? Yes, it is a lot of work and dedication. I often wonder about the amount of time that I devote to my blog and I have decided to post once a week, rather than twice a week. I have made so many “friends”, including you and I simply cannot give up that aspect of blogging. I think that if we write what we feel and not get caught up in the “numbers” it’s a whole bunch more rewarding. It is difficult to do that since that’s what I most often hear and read about. You have done exceptionally well with your blog, much more than I am sure you initially thought you would.
I say do what you feel in your heart you should.
Barbara @ http://www.allmylivesnow.com
Thank you for that sound advice, Barbara. I will do that! I want to keep it rewarding, and not become a chore.
Dana,
I share your feelings as well. I took a trip overseas when my dad got ill in February and haven’t been motivated since. I’m slowly getting out of my slump. I wrote a post 2 weeks ago and I haven’t published it. I’ve decided to do it at my own pace. I got so busy with blogging that I didn’t have enough time to write in my book.
I’m thankful for all the friendships I made and would never want to leave my online friends.
I’m glad you decided to publish this post. Good to know that I’m not the only one:) Keep at it!
I hope your father is doing better, Manal. Going at your own pace is a smart thing to do; I’m trying to do that, and not keep such a fast pace. We’ll see how it goes…
UM YES! do you know how far I had to scroll to leave a comment, woman? Seriously though I felt like this after Christmas. Now I am taking the attitude one day at a time. I hope to be loved, but you know what I can take a day off to enjoy my family and re-focus without feeling guilty too. I unlinked my constant view of “stats” (now I only look when it is requested by a company and I also stopped comparing myself (which I did a lot). Now I find blogging, what I meant it to initially be. FUN. At least most days. AND YOU SHOULD BE SO PROUD OF YOURSELF! XOXOXOX
Not looking at stats can be very freeing, can’t it? Thanks for your encouragement, Jodi – you’re awesome 🙂
Hi Dana – Just stumbled across you blog for the first time tonight – first I like the little I read – quite a bit. I plan to come back and read some more so for personal reasons I hope you don’t quit writing the blog. If I’m completely honest the reason I probably like your blog is the same reason you are questioning its continuation – you are real and honest – that makes it approachable and worthy of my time – keep it coming if that is your path – you have a great voice and writing style – all the best.
Dane
Thank you for such kind words, Dane. I’m so glad you found my blog. I’m sticking around for awhile, so come back and visit!
Holy cow, you’ve accomplished much more in 16 months than I have in 6 years of blogging! In my eyes, all your hard work of blogging is paying off! But I think if it’s taking away from the important things, slowing down is a good thing, too.
I did have quite a first year, and that’s one of the reasons why slowing down is hard for me. But then I realized that I don’t have to repeat my first year – the only person keeping score is me. I’m my own worst enemy!
I want you to keep at it, for selfish reasons! You have good stuff here. Just do the parts you enjoy. For me, the social media part is a drag, so I’ve automated a lot of that. You don’t have to use all the shiny tools out there.
I have to work on automating more. I used the free version of Hoot Suite, but I may need to upgrade. If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d love to hear them!
I would say more but I just I wrote a post titled “I Give Up Blogging” 🙂
As in, I got lost trying to be more a blogger than a writer, and the latter is really what I want to be. So I will continue to write, but don’t worry about all the other bloggy stuff. There’s no joy when it feels tedious.
So true, Alison. I read your post and I completely agree.
Oh DANA!!! I SOOOOO GET THIS!!!! I have been wondering where you were, so I thought “I need to go check on my girl NOW- before I go to bed…oh wait, first I need to eat dinner, then THEN hit the sack…” and yes- it’s 1:00am. I can’t keep up for the life of me right now… too much LIFE going on, and I feel defeated in this blog biz.
I hear you- I feel you- oh, how you speak my heart!! I read these comments and see how SO many bloggers are ‘there’. Spring is crazy! And summer will be worse… I love your resolve. And I’m just so honored to know you, my dear friend. I join you in that resolve!!!
Glad you have you stand by me, Chris! And I hope you know how many of us will be here for you, no matter how often or not-so-often you write. You are very loved. <3
So weird, just earlier today I was thinking as much as I enjoy blogging and reading blogs, how time-consuming it is and wondering for how long I could keep this up. Then I read three posts in my Bloglovin feed TODAY (plus the Jessica Smock one you linked to) about this very topic. I hadn’t thought about it until now, but I’ve been consistently blogging in my current blog for just under two years, so I must have hit that sophomore slump as well.
While blogging can be tiring at times, I love the community I have found through it, and genuinely enjoy writing in my blog (overall) and reading others. It sounds like you are writing for all the right reasons for you, and I’m glad you will be continuing with it!
Me too, Bev. I love the community too, and that’s a big part of why I wouldn’t give any of this up.
I hit 4 years blogging next week, and you know, I’ve never really felt overwhelmed by it. I stumbled into blogging blindly and everything I’ve accomplished through it is just me DOING IT, you know? So I’ve always tried to remain Zen about blogging. I feel it is serendipitous for me. Yeah, I do things that might help me be more successful at it, but I never force anything. I just stay open to the possibilities and see what comes my way.
Like everyone else, I too am glad you aren’t quitting.
Thanks Jennifer. I’m envious of your Zen attitude – I can’t seem to find that. But I’m working on it! Baby steps.
I cannot emphasize enough how much I feel your dilemma. While I’m still “green” at blogging and genuinely loving it, there are days where I haven’t published a post JUST BECAUSE I can’t deal with all that goes with it. It is a lot of work, albeit lovely to read the comments and blogs. But HAVING to do it all at once is what’s difficult. I want to read everyone’s blog…..but I can’t read everyone’s blog in one week just because I’ve posted something. I try to be a “good blogger”, and so far I think I’m hanging on and managing to reply, visit, promote….but there are weeks it doesn’t get done. Life has to come first. My novel has to come first. You know how it goes.
I respect that you hit publish for this post very much. And I’m thrilled you plan to keep writing! I enjoy you immensely. Hang in there, my friend. 🙂
I do know how it goes, and life does come first. I wanted to post today but it just didn’t happen, and I let it go. I’m working on a post now but it may not be finished for tomorrow, so I’ll post it on Friday. I’m learning to not set arbitrary rules for myself – no one cares if I follow them but me.
I enjoy you immensely too, Beth. Thank you for being the awesome woman that you are.
We have the same mentality when it comes to blogging. I do it because I want to and when I want to. I am grateful for the followers I have and news ones that arrive however they get to my page. BUT I am not doing this to be famous, make money (oh that would be nice) or for any other reason than to maintain my sanity. I think you should continue blogging, but as you always have: on your own terms
That’s what I’m going to do Kerri. Thank you for always supporting me! xoxo
Hi Dana, clearly you have struck a chord with many bloggers here. Me included and I’ve taken a more relaxed approach to writing than most. The comments here are true – your voice would be missed by many, including me. How to manage the writing, social media, commenting – all of it is what I struggle with daily. I want to visit my 50 favorite blogs daily and find new ones (because there are many good and worthwhile ones) but it just isn’t possible. I know you will figure it out, whether its gradual or a lightning bulb moment. I hope you share your resolution here, too, I could definitely use your insight!
I’m not sure how much insight I’ll have, Stephanie. But if I have any, I will let you know! One change I may make is not necessarily visiting the blog of every commenter for every post. That takes so much time, and I want to have time to write!
I have read these words over and over this week from a lot of other bloggers. I haven’t been blogging as long as you but I took a few steps back last week and re-evaluated my own blog and what I want, where it’s headed….all the same things. So, I get it. I really do.
I love your blog and however much you write, I will continue to love it.
Thanks for posting such an honest post!
It does seem to be a common theme lately, doesn’t it? Thank you for your kind words, Sandy, and thank you for your support!
I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. Exactly. Like you, if I’m going to do something, I want to be all in. And I want people to read what I’m writing. But you nailed it – it takes interaction, promotion, visiting, commenting, replying to comments. It is a full time job in itself! But it does bring so much joy as well. And there are things I know I could not have made it through in the past two years if it weren’t for the support of all the “strangers” that are my good blogging buddies. But when I took a break last summer for our vacation, and at Christmas for two weeks, it was TOUGH coming back to it all. I often ask if I want to keep it up. But, I really do miss it when I walk away for too long. I find myself thinking about all the potential blog posts. And, since I am a freelance writer and in the process of writing three books, I need the platform. So no matter how old it gets, I don’t see it ending for me any time soon. You’ve got the right idea though. Do what feels right for you. Your tribe – we’re all still going to be here for you whether you post every day or week or not. Look at Ilene for example. She hasn’t posted in two months. But when she does write again, we’ll all be there to read, comment, and support! xoxo
You are exactly right, Alexa. We’ll be here when Ilene writes again, and I know you will be here however often I decide to write. That takes some of the pressure off to promote like crazy on social media – thank you!
Many bloggers will be able to relate completely to your post, Dana.
Excellent.
As for me, I started blogging to mourn, scream, yell, lament, cuss, articulate my words, and allow my passion to spread upon the page….
& it was a superb platform to do so. You know? No editors—No judgment.
I only write for myself (Nobody Else) This takes the pressure off. And I’ve NEVER looked at my stats…I don’t want to know about that shit.
If one is writing without passion or direction or without meaning…
What is the use of any of the words?
I loved this post. xxx
Wise words – I love that – what is the use of words if there is no meaning, passion or direction? Thank you for your perspective!
i think we all go through exactly what you’re feeling. sometimes it can feel like such a chore, just like any job…just like any hobby! i mean, who wakes up every day and says, “yes, i want to do so-and-so all day, every day.” it’s totally fine to take a break and question the journey. for example, i LOVE to travel. but if i had to do it for 365 days straight or even half a year, i’d be like…i just want to wake up in my own bed and click my heels and be home.
That’s a perfect analogy, Catherine, and one I completely understand. Coming off of a vacation is also adding to my slump, but I’m starting to get back into the swing of things.
This totally makes sense. You don’t want to force something you’re not feeling. I’ll stay tuned for when you do feel like posting 🙂
Thanks, Kate. It will be still be at least twice a week, but I’m not going to beat myself up about spending hours on social media.
Dana – I get this. I sooooo get this. I had to put down my blog out of necessity a few months ago to create the space and time I needed to give all of my mojo to the business. I love my blog – but I had to “put it on the shelf” at least for now – to refocus on other things. I think if I hadn’t done that, I would have wound up resenting it and resenting the time that I would have put into it that I didn’t have. When I return to blogging, I will return out of love and not out of have to’s and that’s a great feeling. Anything we can do in life out of love versus “have to” is a gift. I want blogging to stay that way for me. You have the right attitude about this and I commend you for that.
I appreciate your comment, Ilene – thank you. You have so much going on right now; I can’t imagine how you could blog too. But here is one of the wonderful things about blogging – I met you, and even though you haven’t posted in awhile, I am following your adventures on Facebook and I still feel connected. I love that. And I will love when you return to blogging, but for now I’ll be content with your granola. 🙂
what a great post babe…think we can all relate to it. I just took off Friday and Monday…and didn’t read blogs either. Real life is meant to be lived, but I can’t ignore the friendships and wonderful people I have met. I first rejoined the blogging world as a way to deal with unemployment and make money, now I just want to capture my son’s life and life as a mom to a wild dinsoaur. I keep changing as my life changes. I may be gone here and there, but I’m always here.
That’s good to hear, Karen. You are right, blogging will change as our lives change. I just have to be flexible and go with the flow.
This post struck me! I feel like I’ve undergone a similar feeling many times before. In fact, I had a vacation two weeks ago with my son and I was in my hometown and surprisingly, I didn’t really feel the need to blog but I wanted to share something about my vacation so eventually I turned into my blog. And like you, I never wanted my blog to be filled with ads even if it means a little money. I want my blog to be more personal and to be honest, I also want to monetize but I don’t want to write about something that sounds insincere. I think that stepping away from blogging is for a good reason. I’m glad you’ve realized your blogging goal and all the best to you Dana!
Thank you so much, Rea. I wish you all the best in your blogging journey too!
I’m proud of all you’ve done with the blog – from the courage it took to start it, to the creativity of coming up with topics, to your wonderful humor (which I get to hear all the time), to the passion I see in you for your (relatively) newfound venture. I know I don’t post anything on here (this might be the third time), but I figured this would be a good time for some encouragement from the home front. My only hesitation is knowing that it won’t be long before I hear you yelling something like “tell me about a time when I …….” as you look to expand on a post 🙂
You’re the best, Matt. <3 Your support and encouragement means more than you know. xoxo
Blogging is a hobby for me. However, I was getting overwhelmed keeping up with everyone on social media, especially Google +. I was getting frustrated because the posts I wrote that weren’t part of a blog hop or a restaurant review weren’t getting any love. I was wondering what I did wrong. I wrote posts where I poured my heart out & it seems like no one cares. I’m not doing this to get famous either. I sound like a broken record but it would be nice if I didn’t feel like I was talking to a wall when my post wasn’t attached to a blog hop. I will continue writing restaurant reviews, but I don’t know what I will do as far as everything else. I feel like I’m in a popularity contest & going into a nosedive.
I’m sorry you are having such a tough time with blogging, Bianca. Have you joined the SITS girls? (sitgirls.com) It’s a great blogging community and I’ve met a lot of my tribe through there.
I’ve never visited your blog before, but if you’re blogging daily, maybe scale it back to 3 times a week, or even 2 so you can spend more time with James? I only blog once a week, so I can focus on my life off the internet! It seems to work quite well 🙂
I post 2-3 times a week, and I don’t make myself post three times if I don’t feel like it. I may have to cut back more if life gets too hectic. Thanks for your suggestion, Gigi.
I know how you feel. I started blogging on a whim and have been doing so as a hobby ever since. It is close to impossible to keep up with reading and commenting on other blogs in addition to writing your own posts and answering your comments. I feel like I’m never finished. I don’t do much to monetize my blog either, so my husband thinks my “hobby” is a huge waste of time. I used to give myself a 9:00 p.m. cut-off, but I haven’t done that in months. Perhaps I need to start setting time limits again.
I really should do that too – set a time in the evening when I shut down. I stay up too late and then I berate myself the next morning. I’m sorry your husband thinks it’s a waste of time. My husband actually commented on this post last night, much to my surprise. He supports my blog, as long as I don’t run to him for ideas and quotes!
I’m with you on the blogging slump at times. I often get asked similar questions… but really I just blog for me! I hope you continue to write… I love your blog!
Thank you so much, Caroline. I will continue to write and try to find a balance I can live with. As soon as I come off this post-vacation slump…
I just finished my freshman year, so I am hoping I don’t hit the sophomore slump! But I soooooo hear you about how tiring the promotions and social media component is… and I can start to feel resentful of all the time I spend on other people’s stuff and not my own…. It is so hard to balance it but it sounds like you have a great plan in terms of what you are hoping to get from your blog. And as I’ve said, balance is a bit of a crock – I think it’s more like we throw ourselves into something and then maybe need to take a step back. Good luck to you!
Thanks Sarah – I’ll need it! By the way, on a completely unrelated note, we were in Disney last week, and in the China pavilion on Epcot there were tons of little Buddha’s for sale. They made me think of you 🙂
Every time I go on a vacation and unplug, I have the same feeling. The last time, I knew that I was getting this feeling for a reason. I wrote a post about it too: http://www.perfectionpending.net/2014/04/14/if-i-only-had-today/
I have asked myself all of those same questions and realized that monetizing, and making money right now doing that is not something I have the time or energy for. I’m going to post when I feel like it, and hope that people still read it.
On a side note, one blessing I’ve found through blogging is becoming a virtual assistant for another BIG blogger. I DO get paid to blog for her and be on social media etc. I can’t help but think that that job is a direct blessing for all the hard work I’ve put in with blogging. Even if it’s not a book deal or my own personal blog, it’s still getting paid to do what I love. Even if it’s for someone else. And, I can do it on my own time. 🙂
Interesting – I’ve heard of virtual assistants but don’t know much about it. Sounds like it’s working well for you. I will read your post tomorrow – setting my boundaries and heading up to bed now!
I was so afraid to come and read this post because I was afraid you were going to say you were giving up blogging! I’m glad you decided to keep blogging and I love the boundaries you set for yourself!
Sorry to tease you like that, Angela. Now if only I can keep those boundaries, I’ll be in good shape!
The best part about slumps is they are usually followed by something great that energizes you. 🙂 Ellen
Good to know. I think I have something pretty great coming up this weekend…
I’m glad to read that in the end you’ll continue blogging because, to me, you are a great writer and blog friend. I’d hate to see one less kick ass blog in the blogosphere considering it feels like we’re inundated with a lot of not so good blogs. We need strong blogs with high quality writing by people like yourself.
Blogging is definitely not easy but it’s well worth it for all the reasons you mentioned: Friendships, networking and other opportunities that enrich our lives in some way.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with all of us. I’ve been there and will probably be there again at some point. But for now, I’m happy with where I’m at.
I know you’ve thought about the same kinds of things, Kim – and I’m glad you are happy where you are now. And being called a kick ass blog is one of the nicest things I’ve heard all day – thank you!
I think so many of us bloggers can relate. I am trying to find the right balance as well. It can get exhausting keeping up with the commenting and social media work. I know there is a blogger etiquette, but I have resigned myself to the fact that I can spend all evening commenting. I enjoy reading, and sometimes I leave it at that – or perhaps tweet or share post – which I think it just as nice. I think my goals are similar to yours – I want to keep writing – getting paid would be fantastic – but I’m not in the sponsored posts space. That just feels wierd for me. I hope you find some balance – and most importantly continue to find joy when you do write. You are a fabulous writer!
Thank you Kerry! I agree with you – I could spend all day commenting. I have always returned the visit to each person who leaves a comment on my blog. Most of the time they are bloggers I would visit anyway, but it can get overwhelming. I need to be okay with it taking a few days to make all the rounds, or it will stress me out. Maybe I need to change my methods – sharing instead of always commenting. I’ll have to think about that.
I completely understand. My step back is due to my brain injury, I lack my concentration on words, so it takes like 2hrs to write a post however, I still try to catch y’all. I will support whatever decision made. XO! ~A~
You still do a great job of connecting, Amber – our interactions always make me smile! You’re stuck with me for awhile, I think 🙂
Dana- I am in the same place you are. I blog because I want to rather than something I have to do. My sophomore slump happened when I realized not everyone in bloggy land feels compelled to act kind to each other. It dried up my writing and I’ve struggled ever since. I do hope you keep writing because you’re good at it and I enjoy reading it!
I’m sorry you are struggling, Jean, and that you’ve experienced unkindness. That sucks. Thanks for the encouragement – I will keep on writing! I hope you do too; you’re one of my favorites to read.
This really struck a cord with me. I started blogging to write but it’s so much more than that and easily becomes overwhelming. I’m learning to balance both but will focus more on writing.
It’s where my heart is. So happy you’re not stopping. You’re my lunch time reading!
I’m so happy to hear that, Jenny! I’m trying to focus more on writing too. It’s so easy to get sidetracked, but I need to focus!
Wake up. Be amazing. Near as I can tell, you are doing it and then some. The blogging is part of you, but it doesn’t define you. There’s so much to you, and so much of it should be shared. Because you make so many of us smile every day. I look forward to the future and to see what wondrously amazing things you will share with us. 🙂
You just put a huge smile in my face, Melissa – what a lovely thing to say! Thank you, and thank you for being a part of that tribe that makes this whole journey worth it.
Dana, I relate to every word of this. I’m a few years ahead of you (I started in Nov 2010) so I’ve already come to some of the same conclusions after feeling exhausted by some of the aspects of blogging. You’re smart to ask what you want AND (this and is important) to accept that the answer to that question can and will change.
Once I decided that I would not monetize, I was able to stop worrying about how to do that. And once I decided I had no book in for me now, I was able to really have fun writing one essay at a time with no worry about how it all could fit into a cohesive something or another. I also, like, said I wanted to be paid for my writing. I bought a book about pitching articles and very soon after I had paid writing positions at a few different sites, the most regular one where I’m part of the team is Brain, Child Magazine. It’s been a great combo of blogging, but getting paid to write. And I can still do fun random stuff on my site like recipes, reports of dumb escapades like going to the Lululemon warehouse sale. BUT, when I have an idea that feels like the kernel of a “real” essay, I save those for someone who’s paying. It’s a different way of thinking and it’s right for me now. But you know what, in a year, I might feel like 2-3 solid essays a month is more than I can handle and go back to blogging on my own schedule. So . . . always good to leave room in your mind for the possibility of change. Sounds like you’re doing exactly that!
Sorry this was the longest comment ever.
Don’t apologize, Nina – that was a wonderful comment. Thank you for sharing your “blog evolution” with me; it’s so helpful to hear how you’ve arrived where you are.
The decision not to monetize does take some pressure off, and it gives me some direction as I head to my first real blogging conference in June. I’ll know what I’m looking for and be able to focus on my own goals.
I feel like I could have written almost the identical post. I’ve been blogging for about the same amount of time as you and I took a step back too after feeling overwhelmed, neglecting my family and also because I had to when my son became ill. I feel so much more relaxed about blogging now. I write for me when I want to and although I still do my best with promoting and social media, I refuse to let it control me. My goals are the same as yours too. I’d like to get paid for my writing and I’m slowly trying to figure out my next steps towards that goal. In the meantime, I’ll continue blogging at my own pace.
I would love to be more relaxed about blogging, Emily. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. Thanks for letting me know I’m not the only one having these thoughts!
John Wooden, the coach I’ve learned the most from, said “don’t mistake activity for achievement.” We can’t do everything. It’s impossible. I had to tell Grace I had no time to do something with her because I had to write a blog. Wrong! That’s all backwards.
If any of us steps away, chooses life instead of the blog, the blog world will go on. Other writers will fill the spaces. But no one will fill the void your voice would leave. When it comes to things we love, we often mistake that it has to be all or nothing. I’d rather have a little of what I love than none of it.
Blog in a way that enhances your life. I love that line. If it means a wordless Wednesday or shorter posts or less social-media engagement, so be it. I wish I could read all the blogs I love with every post, but I cannot. I will make sure the visits I make are meaningful, though.
Your visits – they’ve been so meaningful. And I’m grateful for them, even if I can’t get back as often as I’d love to.
Meaningful visits. Meaningful posts. You are so right, Eli, and your words really touched me – thank you. I’d rather have a little of what I love than none of it, too. That’s hard for me to do, but I need to do it.
I tell my players to pass with purpose. We should write with purpose, too. Thanks for all you do, Dana.
I think you will find your way Dana. I totally get what you are saying…I think it is sometimes like a hamster wheel you can’t get off of. The friendships and connections make it worth it, but how much time do you want to give to it. It’s a balance. Glad you had a wonderful week away!
Thanks, Michelle. I will find my way; it just may take some time. I had no idea what blogging entailed when I started, and now that I’m acclimated I’m just getting overwhelmed. But I’ll figure out what works for me eventually.
Oh – I so get this!! The past week or so I’ve had to scale way back because I just can’t keep up with all of it.
I hope you find what works for you and know that even if you don’t promote anything, a lot of us will still be here reading every time you share something!!!
Thanks Kim. I know that I read my faves (like yours) whether you promote or not, so I hope you are right. I’d like to think I have a base of loyal readers who will support me even if I’m not all over social media. I really appreciate that!
“I don’t want ads everywhere. I don’t want to do a sponsored post that feels forced. I won’t review products that I would never use if compensation weren’t involved. This is MY blog, and I call the shots”
THIS!!! YES!!! As a blogger for 10+ years now who subscribes to that philosophy I can tell you the sophomore slump will come and go and come and go and come and go. Just do what your heart tells you, the rest falls in line.
Thanks, Jennifer – I appreciate the perspective of someone who has been doing this awhile. Ten years? Wow. I suppose there is hope for me yet!
Keep at it Dana. You’ll find your purpose with it.
I will Michelle- thank you for the encouragement!
The title scared me at first but I understand where you are coming from. I have been thinking recently how much work blogging really is if you are serious about it and I keep debating writing a post about it, but I hesitate because I don’t want to repeat what has been said.
It can take its toll on you but your last comment about you owning your blog and not the other way around is spot on.
Ana, I wasn’t planning on writing about it, but after I read Jessica’s piece I felt like I had to do it. I think it helped – sometimes I need to give myself a pep talk!
*** Continue to blog in a way that enhances your life.***
This. Is. Perfect.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
You’re very welcome, Kelly!
You are so in my head. 100% agree and understand!! I’m glad you will keep blogging though!
Me too, Angela! And I’ll try to get out of your head now 🙂
Oh Dana, this post speaks directly to my heart because I’m going through all of the same emotions RIGHT NOW! I’m definitely feeling the sophomore slump and trying to figure out how I can continue blogging while keeping up with work (insane right now!) and family. My time with my girls and my husband is so limited during the week, and I don’t want to be constantly on my phone or computer working on a post or promoting it. But I love the friendships, the sense of community, and the writing. So, I may scale back a bit so I can focus on writing from my heart, when I can. Thanks for writing this! It resonates with all of us!!
I’m glad this spoke to you, Nicole. Not because you are in a slump, but because knowing others are going through the same thing does help a little. I find that posting twice a week versus three times makes a big difference, so I try to do that at least every other week. Hang in there, my friend!
Big show….Damn auto correct
So I’m not in a bug show? 😉
P.S. I like the new tag line…or at least it seemed new to me!
Yeah, it’s been up there for a few months. You’re just so focused on my awesome writing 🙂
Your post seems to be something all bloggers go through, judging by the comments. I totally get it and because I am in the same boat (being your own boss), have been faced with this many times. It’s always hard to come back after a break. Says the girl who is writing this from Santa Barbara…
My kids constantly look at me on breaks and say “you don’t have to dinners do you”??
I can tell you one thing though…when it becomes a chore it takes the fun out. Selfishly I would miss you terribly but unlike your fellow bloggers, I get you up close and personal. My main concern is keeping your love of writing fresh.
What about posting less? You set the rules sister. Especially because your goals are not monetary or to win an Oscar for best blog (is there such an awards show?)…
I was hoping for an england Dan lyric to come to me but instead I will go with another 70s easy listening tune made popular by the Eagles..”take it easy”.
Love you girl. Can’t wait for your bug show next week. Xoxo d
Thanks, Dana, for being my voice of reason (and 70s music). You’re right; I don’t want it to become a chore. I do feel like the promoting and social media stuff is a chore sometimes, so I’m just not going to do as much if I don’t feel like it. It’s not part of my end game anyway.
Love you too – have a safe trip home and say hi to D’Arcy for me!
So well said, Dana, and glad that you decided to continue to entertain us with your great writing! I’ve cut back my posting quite a bit recently because it does become too much if you let it. It’s not good when it’s not fun anymore. I do have to admit that I love the connections I’ve made through blogging (like you)!
I do too, Debbie – the connections are such a big part of it all! I think posting less often is good for all of us – as writers and as readers. I feel bad when I can’t read every post of all my blogging friends. But if everyone is posting 4-6 times a week, it’s impossible. There’s just not enough time in the day!
I feel like this is the season for burnout.. it seems like a lot of people are struggling with this.
I’d not heard of the “sophomore slump” of blogging, but I’ll be on the lookout 😉 I’m only at 6 months but I do feel the occasional exhaustion of trying to remember the point of it all. Examining your reasons for doing something is a great way to be sure that life– and blogging– doesn’t get away from you.
I agree with you – I need to keep reminding myself why I do this. I also ask myself what will happen if I don’t do this or that…it’s never as bad as I make it out to be in my head. The world will not stop spinning if I don’t spend an hour on social media today!
I think we need to be continually asking ourselves, “Is this feeding my soul? Is this bringing me joy? Is this enhancing my life?” Some days the answer will be YES, and on those days we should pursue blogging with all our might. And some days the answer will be no, and on those days it is perfectly fine and good to put our focus elsewhere.
Very wise words, Katie. It’s like your blog says – you can do anything, but not everything. You’re a smart lady 🙂
DANA!!!! Your blog has been lost in my promotions folder. This morning I thought, I haven’t seen anything from Dana lately, so I searched, and boom…there you are, right in the folder where I never look along with a bunch of other bloggers that I normally read. Ok…moving on…
I think that there is something in the blogosphere water right now because last week, I was thinking the same thing. The amount of time that I spend on reading and commenting and interacting is so huge, so I took a break for about two weeks. I think I wrote one post and maybe read three. And I missed it. Not necessarily my blog but the interaction among my blogger buddies. I missed hearing all of your online voices and connecting with you. It’s opened a new world of friendships to me, friendships that I truly cherish, so I can’t quit. I’ll never be a blogger with a billion followers. I’m comfy in my little baby blog with my few followers who I know and trust. I hope you still blog, but if it gets overwhelming, just take a break. We’ll all be here when you return…and if I don’t respond to your blogs, will you please private message me and ask where the heck I am because I had no idea I was missing your blogs…literally?
I was going for a record to see how many times I could say “blog”…in case you’re wondering.
I think you win!
Mandi – I haven’t posted in over a week, so you weren’t missing anything! And you would know if you were, because you are in my Favorites folder and I will comment on yours and ask where you are. But last week I didn’t read at all, and I missed touching base with you and my other friends. It’s good to connect with you again 🙂
I was worried when I saw your title in my inbox this morning but I also completely get it. When I first started to get into blogging and social media, I was so completely convinced that it’s the best thing ever and I didn’t understand people who had put so much work into it all stepping back. But here I am, stepping back a little bit. I am not posting as often, and have not really felt the pressure to post as often as I used to either. I’m so with you on the “all or nothing” part too. It drives me nuts when I hit the publish button on something I don’t love, which has happened more – especially recently – than I’d like to admit. Sigh.
Which means time for a break. I’ve not taken a full week but do have days at a time when I don’t read anything, write anything, or worry about whether I replied in turn to a friend’s comment. Which is nice.
I think your final thoughts of the blog not owning you but us owning them is an important reminder. And the thing is, if any of us only post once a month or whatever, that’s fine. It’s our space to share what we want, when we want, right?
But oh the friendships. I’ll always love blogging because of meeting amazing friends like you 😀
I feel the same way, Kristi. I can’t imagine ever giving it up completely and losing touch with you and the other friends I’ve made. It’s amazing, isn’t it?
Cheers Dana!! So glad you will continue—your blog is a bright spot that I would truly miss! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experience, time and talents with all of us!
It’s been my pleasure Emily. Thank YOU for encouraging me, and for all of your support. Now if we could just see one another in person one of these days…let me know if you ever free for a walk one morning. I miss you!
Your title scared me, to be honest. As crazy as it may seem to the world outside of blogging, these friendships and connections are strong and real. I mean, you know how I met Ilene twice and got a granola named after me! I see you being someone like that in my life too, although no pressure on the granola thing!
I can’t see stopping but I worry that I’ll get overwhelmed or lose steam because I’ve been full steam ahead for a long time.
Then I just realize that I’ll take a break and refresh, as many of you have done and will do, and you come back and none of us go anywhere anyway.
‘Cause I love your words.
Thank you so much, Tamara – that means so much to me. And having my friends come back after a week away and pick up where we left off – that means a lot too. I can’t see stopping either, and I realized that as I was writing this post. It was a rare “train of thought” piece, and it was therapeutic. Kinda like reading your writing 🙂
Couldn’t get this more if I tried. I too too some time off last week with my girls being home for Spring Break and also Easter. I have to admit, I truly had a blast not having to worry about my blog so much and last night my first thoughts were, “Do I have to post, tomorrow?” I think time away does give food for thought on this topic to be quite honest and I am with you that I do want to give it my all, but I also don’t want to burn out either. Think, at least for me, I may take more time off now here and there and just take it one day at time now.
One day at a time sounds good to me, Janine. No one is telling me I have to post – that’s me, in my own head. I just have to realize that and give myself some slack.
Umm . . . .are you in my brain? I honestly could have written this exact post (except the part about going to Disney!). I have been blogging for over four years, but I just started doing all the promotion, etc. about 18 months ago and, now, I am in that slump. I have been overwhelmed, stressed, and frustrated lately. I over scheduled other things and didn’t have anytime to write what I wanted to write. I took a few days off and, now, I have so much in my brain that I want to write and still very little space in my editorial calendar.
I have asked myself all those same questions and have come to pretty much all the same conclusions. Right now, I KNOW I need to step back, I am just struggling with how to do that. I just can’t let it go the way I should. I love the writing and the friendships – it’s all the other stuff that is stressing me out.
I read or heard a long time ago that YOU own your blog – not the other way around. For the past month, I feel like my blog has owned me. I am trying to get to a place where I can find that elusive “balance.” I know I will probably never find it, but I need to get closer. I started this blog with my girls in mind and I am working on getting back to that,yet not losing sight of the fact that it is also for me.
All that to say – I get this. So mud, I get this. I’ glad you write and I definitely hope you continue. I wholeheartedly understand the struggle, though, and hope we are all able to find some sort of balance so we don’t lose the joy that goer us where we are in the first place.
Exactly, Lisa. I don’t want to lose the joy either. The joy of writing. I also don’t want to lose the friendships, but I think we can foster those without running ourselves ragged. I don’t have all the answers, but I’m trying to hold onto the joy.
I hope you enjoyed your week off. So in your case as it is mine, does a new blog design make you hang around? LOL? I actually love my space like it’s my own room. So when I redecorate it makes me hang on a little while longer. I’ve missed so many good things to write about for the simple fact of not feeling like doing it. I totally get you. And even though I didn’t make my rounds last week I did think, “Where’s Dana?” because I didn’t get an e-mail. So welcome back 😉
Thank you Kenya – it’s good to be back. I think 😉 It’s going to take a little while to get back in the swing of things, but I’ll get there!
I am so glad to know that I’m not the only one in the sophomore slump! I recently pulled WAY back too! This is the first week in about eight weeks where I am going to publish something MORE than once a week. This is also really my first week back of reading other’s blogs too. I learned so much during my time away!
I realized that if I didn’t get off of the hamster wheel, I was going to implode and just be DONE.
I think it is so important to write in your space because you WANT to write in it. I’ve also automated about 90% of my social media which has helped. And, I decided to keep Instagram as a personal space just for me and NOT the blog. It is a place to go to really see my friends and what they’re up to. I might use it a little bit for the blog, but really it is MINE and I love it.
I still haven’t gotten on the G+ board much. I just don’t have time!
I hope you keep writing. I’d miss your words if you did.
I’ll have to chat with you at Blog U about automating social media – I don’t think I’m doing it well. And that you would miss my words if I stopped writing? I can’t tell you how much that means to me, NJ. That’s a big reason I keep doing it, so thank you.
The first thing I thought was – I get it. It’s SO time consuming, especially keeping up with social media, and I get “asked” (by my husband usually) to please not be on my phone at one time or another. I certainly hope you DO continue blogging but I definitely understand the reasons for wanting to just throw in the towel.
I’m not going to throw in the towel, but I am going to try to find that balance. I know you understand, and just hearing you and other bloggers say you get it helps a lot.
This post is so sweet to my eyes and my heart. I can totally relate. I recently took a month away to grieve and seriously I am so glad I did it! You are so right about the time it takes to even blog with the intent to foster relationships. It takes a lot of time. I did question if I should come back to it or how. I did for so many reasons. I missed everyone, but I didn’t want to get overwhelmed and so much has changed in my life. I have to balance my time as you have discussed here for sure. It’s so nice to do a checkup to see what your end game is. I know mine has changed several times since I started blogging. 🙂
I’m going to read your post now, Brittnei – I’ve missed you! I know you get it, and I’m glad you are back, under whatever terms you need to be.
Also it’s SO MUCH FUN – not necessarily the writing bit or the pressure (real or imagined) to keep churning things out and hit publish, and certainly not the knowledge that if you don’t pimp at least a little, your readership drops and people seem to forget you, but – the FRIENDSHIPS. The genuine, true, real, AWESOME friendships.
The VidChats.
The photos.
The silly games of running between social media platforms following the thread of imagination and whimsy, all together, like kids running after leaves in an autumn playground.
The fun. The fun. The fun.
And the getting to know other people, and finding one day, almost without warning, that they matter.
SO glad I don’t have to try to convince you to stay, and that you arrived at this eminently sensible conclusion by yourself.
It is fun, when I have the time. I just need to find the balance. But you are so right about the friendships, Lizzi.
I know, right? Insufferably right. 😀
FRIST!!!!
Hi Dana,
I’m glad that you will keep blogging –
when it’s right for you.
That has to be the benchmark for most things in life,
I think…
If it’s right for you, it will be interesting for your readers 🙂
Best wishes, and looking forward to more posts –
Emma x.
Thank you, Emma. I like what you said – when it’s right for me, it will be interesting for my readers. I will remember that!