It’s day three of the mini-blog challenge with Joi from Rx Fitness Lady, and today is a humorous post. It takes a lot out of me to be funny on purpose, and I usually infuse some humor into posts as I write them than actually starting off intending to write something funny.
I’m better at one line zingers than I am at lengthier humor. That’s why I enjoy Twitter and commenting on other blogs – get in, be witty, get out. My husband and kids are like that too. Humor is of utmost importance in our household; if you don’t have a sense of humor you’ll get eaten alive. Matt and I encourage witty banter, although we sometimes have to remind the kids that there is a fine line between banter and disrespect. They are still children, after all.
So for my humorous post, I am sharing some of my family’s favorite puns and jokes. It’s not original humor, but it makes my kids giggle. I bet you’ll giggle too, even as you roll your eyes.
Teacher: Richard, come up to the map and show me where America is.
Richard (points to map): Here it is.
Teacher: Now class, who discovered America?
Class: Richard did!
Did you hear about the circus fire?
It was in tents.
Kid says: Guess what?
Matt says: Chicken butt! (He said Pizza Hut when they were younger, but apparently now they are old enough for poultry ass.)
Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
Because it’s the (s)center.
Brilliant, right? I leave you with some things I have seen that have cracked me up – proving once and for all that a higher education does not necessarily translate into a high brow sense of humor.
If you don’t get that one right away, take a closer look at the drawings inside the white and red cups. And finally, I saw this book in the window of a store in San Diego, and I thought it was hilarious. Math humor rocks!
A true friend can make you laugh until you pee, but a best friend will continue laughing at you until she does too. – Unknown.
I’m just catching up on some posts from last week…this is one of my faves! My kids will love these and the ones in the comments! That bear and bunny one is funny!
I know – I loved that one too. Leave it to Kristi to have a better joke than mine!
Loved the snow and bacon one! Got it right away. People can be so very funny. Thanks for sharing those gems, Dana.
My pleasure!
I love the draw bridge and the math book!! I’m just not that clever, but I totally appreciate wittiness and humor!
Kate
There are plenty of people who don’t appreciate wittiness and humor – I have trouble relating to those people. How can you not think these things are funny??
Bwahaha! Thanks for a much-needed laugh! And, oof, trying to help a 7 year old find the line between funny and disrespectful? Not. Easy.
I’m sure it’s not. Even older kids have trouble with that line sometimes. Repetition helps, though. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “You’ve crossed the line into being disrespectful.”
oh boy, I sure did need a good laugh…this was awesome! LOLOLOLOL
Glad I could help out!
Dana, Guess what chicken butt is my fave. I say it all the time. But the nose joke, now that one my daughter will run with for years. She’s at that age where she says jokes all day. I mean, she’ll repeat the same joke for a week, like we don’t already know the punchline. “Scenter”…she’ll love it. Thanks!
My pleasure – always happy to give a budding comic new material!
Loved that math one Dana! Hysterical!
I know, right?
These are so funny! I especially like the snow and bacon!! Wouldn’t that be so cool???
I don’t know, Leah. I love bacon, but bacon flavored water may be taking it a bit too far!
That is hilarious! I just told my family and it got a huge thumbs up! I’m telling that to everyone I know.
HA. Those are awesome. My favorite?
A bear and a rabbit were pooping in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and says “Hey, does poop ever stick to your fur?”
The rabbit says “No.”
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. 😉
i felt so lame because the last one (find the x) didn’t jump out at me. i’m a slow one!
That’s ok, Catherine. I took me awhile to get the flavored water one.
LOL!! Love the posters and I’ll tell my boys the chicken butt joke! They’ll love it (of course!)
Of course – boys love any jokes with butts in them!
Those are good ones!! My kind of humor! My husband prefers bathroom jokes, don’t really understand now what the attraction. 😉
Oh, we love bathroom jokes at our house too! Well, not me so much, but the males in the house do. What is it with guys?
The pizza poultry exchange, #DEAD! Thanks for the explantation on the snow bacon and the other 2 pictures were pretty funny! So glad to have you again for the #MBC Dana!
I’m having fun, Joi – what a great group of ladies!
Haha! Kids are too funny. Richard is one smart kid to discover America.lol.
Gonna try the nose joke wit my kids.
I bet they’ll love it:)
I like your motto “Get in, be witty, get out.” You should put that on a bumper sticker. Less is more, folks.
So true! (see how that reply was less?)
I am giggling for sure!! I love the “find x” one and the bacon and snow water had me all out laughing!!! Great post:-)
Thanks, Allie – glad it made you smile!
Here is David’s newest attempt at making the kids laugh: Why are pirates cool? Because they ARRRRRRR
Love it! So many pirate jokes, so little time…
Witty banter rules! Maybe I should suck it up and join the Twitter party…
Love the jokes and images, especially the math problem.
You should eventually, Nicole. It’s so random and you can do as much or as little as you want.
*Giggling* Why is “chicken butt” so funny?
One of our favorite silly jokes is:
So there were two muffins in the oven. The first one said, “Man its hot in here,” the other one said, “HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN.”
LOVE THAT ONE! Can’t wait to tell my kids.
Cracked up at these, because I love that kind of humor…I am totally telling my kids these today! :)-Ashley
They are definitely kid friendly, Ashley – I share your pinterest nightmares (some of them) with my daughter – she cracks up!
Snow and bacon! HAHAHAHA!
I know – it took me a second to get that one!
Good entertainment for sure!!
I loved the math humor and the draw bridge sign!
Me too – I don’t need complex humor to make me laugh 🙂
I love witty signs!! I kinda love when people write funny things on STOP signs. Thanks for the morning humor!
My pleasure, Tamara!
My husband opens all his meetings with bad jokes, so I’m sharing these with him!
Yay – I hope he can use at least one! My kids would be thrilled.
Now that last one is my kind of math test!! 🙂
Ha – I wish I had the guts to write that answer when I was in school!
The sign on the water cooler was best 🙂
I saw a photo the other day of a hand dryer in a public bathroom, upon which had been written “For a short speech by David Cameron, press button”
Thought that was GENIUS.
LOVE your final quote though – that’s awesome 🙂
That is genius – I love clever people. I love the quote too – I strive to be that friend!
*checks underpants*
Nope, still dry. You?
(that said, your epic Twitter non-link fail, with the tag line about the hairy girlfriend who loves to lick it, was pretty damn hilarious…)
Yep. That’s because I went in, got witty, and got out. Told you that’s what works for me!
It works, it works. Though if you wanna get as far as the peeing thing, you may have to stay longer or design a hilarious exit strategy.
Now that you’ve vlogged, the possibilities are endless. Those bloopers were pretty good…I daresay there’s more where they come from…?
That last one is classic (well at least me who taught middle school math), but seriously thanks for laugh this morning. I totally needed it, because I a bit run down with a head cold and having trouble sleeping the last two nights. But seriously totally put a smile on my face!
I’m glad, Janine. Have a cup of tea and feel better soon!
Bacon went over my head and THEN I laughed hard!
My post almost started just like this. We would have had to say jinx except I said, “can’t be funny on purpose.”
Me too – that’s why I gave a little hint. It’s hard to be funny on demand, isn’t it?
OH YES I love that math answer!!! Hilarious! Those are all great. My kids (as most do I suppose) love jokes. The favorite lately has been: Knock Knock. Who’s There? Smell mop. Smell mop who?
That’s a good one, Alexa! I just told my daughter and she loved it. Any joke with poop is a success in our house.
This post made me laugh for sure. Lol! Your family is pretty funny. I’m not funny if I try to be either really so don’t feel bad 🙂 xoxo
Thanks, Brittnei. They are a funny bunch, and that makes me very proud! Doesn’t take much…