Who says learning has to stop when the kids are on Spring Break? Our biennial vacation to Disney World was filled with a plethora of educational opportunities, and we took full advantage of each one. We managed to squeeze them in between the walking, eating, roller coaster riding, eating, waiting in line, eating, and general Disney merry-making.
Allow me to share the wisdom with you.
1. There are ghosts that haunt I-95 in South Carolina. These ghosts scare stupid drivers, causing them to slow down and back up traffic for miles. Only the stupid drivers see these ghosts, because when traffic finally resumed normal speed, I saw no accidents, road kill, or any other reason for the slowdown. Just stupid drivers. And ghosts.
Stupid drivers are just dopey.
The Village People were performing their hits in Epcot one evening – Macho Man, In the Navy, and of course, YMCA. A man walked by us to get to his seat, and I was treated to a glimpse of the Jessica Rabbit tattoo on his ankle. Oh, and her, umm, “bunnies” were exposed for all to see.
2. When you are young and think it would be a good idea to get a tattoo of a TOPLESS cartoon character, remember that you will one day be as old as the Village People, and you will look silly.
3. The correct way to form the “M” in YMCA is in front of your chest, NOT above your head. How do I know? The Village People taught me. They said people have been doing it wrong for years.
4. Ever wondered what country is the best in the world? According to Matt, it’s the USA. He shared this nugget of wisdom in the American Experience at Epcot.
This is why America is the best. Big air conditioned rooms with benches.
5. Even more frightening than the Tower of Terror or The Haunted Mansion is seeing the very pregnant woman smoking a cigarette behind Cinderella’s Castle. My kids were as horrified as I was. If only the Fairy Godmother had been around to turn her into a pumpkin. Who doesn’t smoke.
6. Just because it’s Coca Cola doesn’t mean it’s good. The flavor from Italy was gag-worthy. If you ever visit the Club Cool in Epcot, you’ve been warned.
As we were walking along a trail in Animal Kingdom, I passed by a guy who had horrible body odor. Then I passed by a woman who also stunk to high heaven. I whispered about it to Gwen, and as I did, I remembered something from our last trip.
7. Male gorillas give off a scent when they are feeling aggressive or when they are around females. This scent smells just like B.O.
So I apologized in my head to the man and woman I thought were gross. Only later did a friend point out to me that they were probably thinking that I was the one with B.O.
8. You have to wash up well after using the restroom in Disney World, or you might get a little Pooh on your hands. Taking photos of this entertained us for far too long.
9. If you ride a roller coaster enough times, you will learn when the photograph is taken, and you can pose for it. This amused Matt and the kids immensely. One of their favorite poses was “quizzical.” That’s me on the left side of the photo; I am defiantly not posing for the camera.
10. Children that have never used a corded phone in their lives are amused by the ones in the UK phone booths in Epcot. I tried to call Lizzi, but she didn’t answer. I bet she was on Twitter.
11. Having older kids has its perks. You (or they) can make inappropriate jokes and only feel slightly guilty about laughing. When we walked by this chair in a garden display, James said, “Oh look, it’s a hose chair.” Then he snickered, and so did the rest of us. (If you don’t get it, say it out loud.) I know I should have reprimanded him, but I was too busy being proud of his wit.
12. When you get to the park at 8:00 in the morning and ride the biggest roller coaster in Disney three times in a row, adults will have to empty their bladders. But the children will not, so they will ride for the fourth time. And when the adults return in hopes of catching their children coming down the steepest, longest hill in Disney, they may catch them just in time. Gwen and James are in the first car.
And it was then that I learned the most valuable lesson of our trip. Watching another person experience unrestrained glee is a gift. Watching unrestrained glee in your children is magical.
Did you go anywhere for Spring Break? Did you learn anything?
i’m so embarrassed i’ve been doing the M wrong during the YMCA dance!
Don’t be embarrassed, Catherine – I’ve been doing it wrong too!
I LOVE this post! We are planning a trip to Disney in August and I am SO dang on excited! This will be my daughters’ first time (6,4), and my first time since being a child! I love the pictures you got of your children on the roller coasters and the “quizzical” look is HILLARIOUS! It looks like you had a wonderful time!
We really did, Britton. I bet you are excited – my kids started counting down on January 1st. Check out some of my other Disney posts for some tips on trip planning, and let me know if you have any questions. I’m no expert, but we have been there six times (with kids)!
OHMYGOSH I WANT TO GO TO DISNEY WITH YOU!!! I laughed so hard through all of this Dana!!! Hilarious and brilliant at the same time!! Oh, how I love your humor. And your family’s to boot!
Lizzi- that goofball was probably doing a vidchat.
I’m sure she was – or putting more heart glitter in the mail to send to you!
Hey, I learned something new from you today! (Mainly all the 11 things in your post – the fact that Coke from Italy tastes horrible was already known to me.) Great post and had me giggling all the way!
You could have warned me about the soda, Ana Lynn! 😉
Okay the “hose chair” comment still has me laughing! That was pretty hilarious. Looks like you had a great time. I worked there for about 6 months and I have been probably like ten times beyond that. Disney is basically my second home! Really is one of the most magical places on Earth 🙂
It really is. My daughter wants to spend a semester working there when she goes to college – is that when you did it? Must be a great experience.
Thanks for the tip on saying “hose chair” out loud – made me laugh this morning.
I love the posed picture – so fun!!!
And, I thought you were going to show real poo – glad it was Pooh!
Yep – Pooh with an “h” – big difference!
Sounds like an awesome trip, Dana! We didn’t go anywhere and I regret it a little but we’re going to do a big trip for the 4th of July when Tucker turns FIVE! HOLY FIVE! So um, did you actually admit to seeing the ghosts on the highway? Because…
Ah hem.
Anyway, Lizzi was probably on Twitter. I thought that the M for YMCA was both arms to each side of your body? It’s in front of your chest? Also that’s really cool that the Cop still sounded awesome. I saw Simon & Garfunkel in Denver about 10 years ago, and although they looked really super old, they sounded amazing and exactly the same as on albums recorded 30-40 (yikes) years prior. That was pretty cool. Glad it wasn’t you with the BO especially since it’s so time to choose a Friday for lunch.
Five years old. Wow! The M is in front of your chest – I’ll demonstrate in person for you. And I’ll wear deodorant.
That last line…so so true. I loved every minute of Disney with my kids. The smiles, and giggles, and joy, and wonder…worth every penny that darn mouse took from my wallet. And I want to go back every year from now on. I can and can’t wait for them to be older. As for Lizzi, she was either on twitter or chatting with me on Facebook, which is one of my new favorite past times.
By far, my favorite list of yours thus far. And look…I didn’t miss it, even though you’re still landing in my promotions folder. (how can I fix this?)
I have no idea, Mandi. I subscribe to my own blog and it lands in my junk folder. Can you enter in my email address so it knows to accept those emails? Or use BlogLovin and make a folder that says “Dana is in here – READ HER!”
Aw, I’m so glad you guys had such a great time! I love seeing your family, they look so fun. 🙂
I’m sure you’re right about Lizzi. She was DEF on twitter!
hose chair and pooh on your hands had me giggling!
Made me giggle too. I giggle easily, especially at immature jokes.
Lmk when you find the hose bed.
I won’t be the first to find it. But I’ll let you know.
Such great tips and mini guides! I love th epose for the roller coaster…maybe I can time it just right eve nif it is my first ride? LOL I will be sure to steer clear of the Gorillas and the Cola! I got the hose thing at first read…LOL So fun!
Seriously – the gorillas were horrible. Worse than the soda, I think. And as soon as you make the first turn on Space Mountain, the camera flashes. So now you know when to pose. 🙂
Haha, sounds….interesting.
Although now I feel like I need to try that soda from Italy. Just to see…
Don’t do it, Amber! Step away from the icky soda!
This was all just really funny. Your last line made me catch my breath. We went a few years ago when the kids were 6 and 8. It was fun but we don’t really remember much – any of us. I have never wanted to go back, thinking we did it, we’re done! But I’ll bet it would be fun with the kids being older. I didn’t book any tickets but you did get me thinking…
So you’ve been thinking, huh? 😉 Disney is great with older kids. Mine want to go one more time in two years when they are (gulp) 14 and 17. We’ll see…
Um, I think you read about my spring break, which was definitely NO Disney trip. (Two kids in a minivan with Mommy for 25 hours in 6 days? Not so much.) I am so jealous, and I can’t wait to go back to Disney World again! Love it. I am still snickering about the “bunnies” tattoo. Ugh. And I had no idea about the “M” in YMCA- I will make it my life’s work to educate people at wedding receptions from here on out. Also- I hate seeing pregnant women smoking. Of all the things you can’t control about pregnancy and your kids health, and yet… Ugh. I will get off my soap box now. 🙁 Sounds like you had a great trip!
We did, and I did think about you as we were making the 16 hour drive home. But my kids were plugged in and happily occupied, and I was not driving. Funny about the “M” isn’t it? I’m going to educate people too!
I plead the fifth. Even if I technically can’t #ForeignPeopleProblems
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lgpQzLPWiKY
BUT it looks like you had such a GORGEOUS time, and the pic of you with Pooh on your hands is ADORABLE. (and yes – there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say…)
Now then, I need to ask you – where can I make a wordle? I need to do that today…
I see you found it! The Pooh joke made us all giggle – we are sophisticated like that.
i adore this!!! Simply adore how much fun you had. We love Disney, been there before and after children. People keep saying that as Abby gets older the magic will wear off. I’m so glad to know that the magic just changes!!
It doesn’t wear off. As you said, it just changes. My kids had the best time they’ve ever had there. And I’m tired.
Ha ha ha – love this! I can’t believe I’ve been doing the “M” wrong for all these years! Those village people are a little scary, but scarier by far is the smoking pregnant woman and the man with the Jessica Rabbit tattoo. Seriously? Gotta love Disney for the best people watching ever.
It is fabulous people watching. It’s like a microcosm of the world, with cameras around their necks.
LOL @ #11. I said, “I don’t get it”. Then read it again (in my head) didn’t get it and the said it out loud like you said to the first time. Then I laughed and said DUH to myself. And I LOVE unrestrained glee in anybody – but yeah especially my child.
I’m glad you stuck with it until you figured it out, Kenya 🙂
Awesome photos! I totally love the one on the roller coaster and the gorilla! And my kids go crazy each time we pass by a pay phone. They think it’s cool and oh so high tech! LOL
High tech? That’s funny. I don’t even know how much it costs to make a call on a pay phone anymore. Last time I used one it was a quarter.
Hilarious! I wish I had written a post like this after our trip to Disney. Scary to think our children have never held a corded phone, isn’t it? Glad you had fun!
I’ll admit I took notes during the trip so I wouldn’t forget the funny things. You have to get your writing material wherever you can, right?
I love this! I was cracking up the whole time I was reading this. We saw phone booths when we were in London a few years back…nice blast from the past! Cute pic by the way!
Thanks! It was hot as hell in that phone booth – we all came out gasping for air.
Great list. Got me laughing along. I too hated the Italian Coke. I wonder if all the employees watch everyone as they start gagging after tasting it. It seems to be, hands down, the grossest one of all.
I know – why is it still around? I can’t imagine why it’s popular in Italy. It seems like Italians have such good taste in food and wine.
This post cracked me up! Totally agree with you and I can’t wait to experience disney when the kids are older
Glad you liked it! Disney has only gotten better as my kids have gotten older.
Seeing you holding Winnie the Pooh brought back many memories. I believe one of us, you, me or Amy had one. Wonder if he’s still around somewhere. BTW, your children have held a corded phone. Grandma’s. However, they weren’t standing in a booth when they used it! Luved the blog, as usual!
You know I still have the corded phone Grandma gave me when I went to college. It’s our emergency phone in case the power goes out and we lose Fios.
Nice use of the word “biennial”!
I can’t figure out the “hose chair” thing. It might be because I can’t say it aloud right now. Everyone is sleeping. Lame-os.
I feel a bit like the show LOST when they’re all, “We have to go back!”
I want to go back so, so badly.
Hose as in the plural of “ho” as in a slang word for a prostitute. Get it? You mean Scarlet didn’t tell that joke when you were in Disney? 😉
HAHA! No, Scarlet didn’t but Des did!
OH my goodness. Some of these made me crack up! Hubby asked me a few times what I was laughing at. I feel very old that your kids don’t know what a pay phone was or was like! The hose lawn chair joke and the photo was funny. So was the pooh photo and joke. Love your sense of humor, Dana! xo
Thanks, Brittnei. I have to credit Matt and the kids too – they are a pretty witty bunch.
Great lessons! I love #9 🙂
I’ll tell my family you liked it – they were very pleased with themselves.
Umm, laughing about so many of these I can barely comment. Love the hose chair, the BO, and the British phone. Disney will never be the same.
No it won’t – my family brings its own brand of humor wherever we go!
Glad you guys had fun at Disney! We didn’t go anywhere for Spring Break because we only got three days due to all the crazy winter weather. But, David and I are headed to Vegas for a work/pleasure trip this weekend!
Ooh – fun! I love Vegas. Have a great time and eat some yummy food. And if you can win big, do that too!
I bet Lizzi was either on Twitter or Instagram!! No seriously I loved your little tidbits and seriously got to remember the Italy Coke thing when we go (hopefully soon!!).
You’ll have to tell me if you try it, Janine. I didn’t taste it, because I saw the grimaces on my family’s faces when they drank some.
This is BRILLIANT! And has me rethinking my Disney-avoidance policy. Maybe when the girls are older, it won’t be so bad…
Nicole, this was our best trip ever. We all agreed; I can’t tell you how much fun the kids had and how sad they were to leave.