I have never written a birthday post on this blog. Four birthdays have come and gone, and this is the first one for which I feel inspired to write.
“This is 45” was the title in my head. Unoriginal, for sure – I’ve seen many “This is..” posts written by bloggers as young as 30. Yet the title sat in my drafts folder for weeks, lonely and neglected.
What is 45? I intended to write a list of 45 things (again, unoriginal), but I quickly got stuck. Was I just going to list 45 things about my life at 45? That would be just a snapshot of my life right now, not a deep philosophical musing about what it is to be the age I am. Spoiler: I produced no deep philosophical musings about turning 45 or anything else.
This birthday marks the death of my early forties; no amount of creative math can change that. I am officially closer to 50 than to 40, and I am solidly in middle age.
I am in the next age range box in surveys – no longer on the outer edge of 35-44. I’m in the 45-54 box now. That’s one box away from 55-64, which is one box away from 65 and older, which is the LAST BOX.
My mother maintains that all birthdays ending in zero and five are big ones, and they should be celebrated as such. This one was a quiet affair, and I cringed a bit when the huge 4 and 5 candles on my Carvel ice cream cake winked at me as if to say, “Sorry toots, we’re not gonna let you forget it!” Did I really say “toots?” Just mark the 65 and older box now.
The year doesn’t define me. What is happening in my life at the age of 45 may be completely different from what is happening in another woman’s. I became a mother in my mid-twenties, so for me 45 is the beginning of the empty nest. It is also ambiguous in terms of career. What career? Exactly.
I still feel young – 28 maybe? But better than I was at 28. Smarter, fitter, kinder, tougher, wittier. I’m completely comfortable in my own skin, even if that skin has more fine (and not so fine) lines than I would like.
I can do as many if not more tricep dips and push ups as I could do at 35, but the lower back twinges come more often and linger longer.
My arms are still long enough to read labels, but the program descriptions on the bottom of the television screen have suddenly become blurry.
Gray hairs are still in the minority, and my curls hide most of them.
On occasion I am addressed as “ma’am, but I am also told “You’re too young to remember…”
I wear ripped jeans but never Birkenstocks with socks.
I use Snapchat but sometimes need my teenagers to help me with it.
This is 45. It is a straddle between decades, it is a balance of youth and maturity. It is a disbelief that I am actually this age, because I still feel like a young adult. It is gratitude for all that I have, and who I have in my life. It is an uncertainty of what the future holds, and a cautious optimism that it will be awesome.
Wait, I’m so impressed you use Snapchat!
It’s a fabulous way to stay connected to my daughter when she’s away at college – that’s primarily what I use it for. Although it is fun to play around with the filters…
This was such a refreshing read and laugh after spending my morning listening to post election news and reading facebook. I truly believe we will always feel youthful, even when we are grandparents, it is a great mindset to have, but if you ever start to feel old, just remember I will always have three years on you!
xoxo
Happy belated birthday, Dana! You may be checking a new age box going forward but you are also entering a new phase in your life as you ease into the empty nest over the next few years. My money is on you to find new and exciting challenges for yourself as you march confidently into the second half of your 40s.
I appreciate the vote of confidence Mo!
Happy
Birthday!
45 is the new 35! xx
I like the way you think! 😉
I hope you had a fabulous birthday and I know you will rock 45 and beyond!
Thanks Lisa!
Beautifully written, Dana, and as a fellow 45 year old, I totally relate. On all accounts. Except I don’t use Snap Chat.
I’m clinging to the notion that a number can’t define us, and that I’m going to age well, by golly! (Check the 65 and older box.) My son pointed out to me this weekend that I can run in one of his races as a “Master class”. Oh good heavens.
EMBRACE
I had trouble ending the 18-34 check box.
I don’t really understand Snapchat yet!
It’s really is an interesting straddling age, it sounds like!
Happy Birthday!!
Thank you Tamara! Snapchat is really fun once you get the hang of it, but I use it mostly to keep in touch with Gwen when she’s at college.
Happy Birthday!
Thank you!
I turned 34 in September, and I realized it is the last year I’m still technically in my early 30s. And my last year, apparently, to check off the 25-34 box, though I think I will feel more connected to my grouping in the next box. (I was in a very different place in my mid-20s — at 25 I had only been dating Sam for 9 months!)
Each year, though, as I get older, I feel more confident in my skin and feel like I enjoy life more. Sure, my knees may creak when I stand up and I don’t have quite the same amount of energy as I did in years past, but it just seems to get better.
Happy birthday, my friend!
Thanks, Bev! You and I seem to have the same outlook on getting older; you’re just 11 years behind me. 😉
You’re still young. Younger than I am anyway, and knowing super-cool people who are older helps right (hehe). But I know how you feel although I have to say that 30 stung for me more than 40 did. I’ve only got two years until 50 (gulp). But happy birthday again and I think you look fabulous. Not a day over 35.
You’re my favorite, Kristi. xoxo
Happy Birthday Dear Dana
I’m glad for your 45th, and for all the years of living that have made you the wonderful person you are now. I think whatever you do with this time, and whatever it does to you, you have the spirit to learn from it, to appreciate it, and to accept all the goodness it can offer. I hope it offers LOTS.
Thank you Lizzi! <3
Happy Birthday, Dana! I’m sending you bushels of wishes that your next 45 years are full of joy, great health and wonderful experiences. To be honest, I cannot remember what I did for my 45th. Hmmm. Should I be worried?
Ha – no, don’t be worried at all! That just means you had tons of fun. 😉
Dana, I hope you had a wonderful birthday! You’re lucky your arms are still long enough. Sadly – I cannot read ANYTHING anymore, without readers. It’s rather frightening, really.
Thank you Allie! It is scary how fast the eyesight deteriorated. I just hope it doesn’t get much worse.
Happy Birthday! I don’t think I knew we were the same age. I kinda felt it though based on how your “old” back in the day pictures look. 😉 I’ll be 46 next month. This is the first year I really couldn’t believe my age. It’s easy to give my date of birth but when I have to say 45, I’m like fortyyyyyy?????five. I didn’t do anything milestonish and I made my own cake.
Ha – I did not cook a thing! It is weird to say the age out loud – I just don’t feel that old.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dana!! Yes, 45 is a big birthday indeed! It’s crazy, isn’t it? I still feel like I’m a teenager… my next birthday I will be the BIG 5.0. Oh Lord…
Your last paragraph was exquisite, beautiful, profound.
I’m so glad you are in such a great place- it sure sounds like 45 will be so very good to you!
I hope it will! And the big 5-0? You will rock it, Chris.
I think we all feel young no matter what age. I know since I’m in my 70’s and the BIG 75 is next. Love you.
Love you too!
I feel y! My family was the same with the 5’s and 0’s. I found those were okay, but the year AFTER was the sucky one. 30 was fine (became a mommy), 31 meh. 40 great, 41 started to have a doctor for almost everything. Don’t even get me started on the suck-fest of a year that has over-taken 46….
I used to be the baby at work and am now one of the old ones who look at those youngsters and shake my head…Yes, once upon a time we had to put money in an envelope to deposit it.
But as they say…it is better than the alternative! 😉 Happy 45th!
My dad says that (about the alternative) all the time! I have to remember that. I hope the 46 suck-fest stops sucking soon, and the 47 is a great year for you.
I’m laughing so hard over THE LAST BOX!!! Ugh.
You are an amazing 45 with a huge life that you take every opportunity to celebrate. Bring it on 45!!!
Yes – bring it on! And thank you for laughing – you and I have a similar sense of humor. 😉
i always say it doesn’t matter how old you are, as long as you feel and look young. which you do!
Thank you, Catherine!
Loved your take, Dana.
Happy 45th dear. I am just two years younger to you, but as you said it’s not the numbers that matter it’s what wisdom you have accumulated in these years. I second that!
I have seen myself slow down in quite a few areas and my teen son is quick to point it out to me…blah!
Those teenagers keep us young while also reminding us of how old we are!
Aw, Happy Birthday Dana and love your take on 45 as I will be the big 4-0 myself on my next birthday, as well now!
Ooh – that’s a big one! But still, just a number, right?