This post was originally published in December 2013. I can’t remember what I read two days ago, so I’m banking on the fact that you won’t remember what you read two years ago. And if you didn’t read it then, pretend it’s brand new.
Christmas…it’s the most wonderful time of the year. The whole country seems to be celebrating.
But what if you don’t celebrate? What if Christmas is just another cold day in December? I love the spirit of the season – the decorations, the parties, the good cheer. I love that for one month, people are a little kinder, a little more generous, a little more patient. Yet there are pros and cons to being a non-Christian during the yuletide season.
Being a Jew in December means…
I save money by not buying a Christmas tree or holiday decorations and lights.
BUT
The kids complain that our house is the dreariest on the block. Those Hanukkah candles burn down pretty fast.
I feel no need to bake twenty dozen cookies, which will inevitably end up on my hips.
I have no use for that creepy Elf on a Shelf. If Santa doesn’t visit, there is no way that elf boy is taking one freaky footless step into my home.
There’s less commercialism. Despite the prevailing belief, Hanukkah is not the Jewish Christmas. It’s a minor holiday. We buy our kids small gifts for each night, and one night we adopt a family in lieu of receiving gifts.
They may be small, but Matt and I get all the credit for the gifts. We don’t have to let the big guy give our kids the gifts they want the most.
People are always wishing me Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. I get Christmas cards with warm wishes and photos of smiling friends and family.
I’d have to be a Grinch not to catch the spirit of the season. I am many things, but a Grinch is not one of them. Haven’t you seen my flash mob?
I’m delighted to see that I posted a comment in 2013 when this post first appeared meaning we’ve been blog buds for a good long time! Once again, Hanukkah came early so once again I was happily able to spread out my shopping for the holidays. Now, true confession time: I’ve never seen Elf.
What??? Watch it, Mo. It’s so funny. Unless you aren’t a Will Farrell fan. If you don’t like dumb, silly humor, you won’t appreciate its brilliance.
I love how you are so willing to respect and enjoy traditions that are outside of your own. We need much more of this understanding in the Internet and in everyday interactions. Thanks for being a bright light in December. 😉
Thank you Julia – what a kind thing to say!
Glad to have you join in, Dana! We actually had a student ask where all our Hanukkah decorations were this year, since we have a tree and lights and such. She had a valid point, so my boss went out and bought some so we could be equal opportunity decorators! 🙂
The more decorations the better, right?
Well, I’m glad you played along so there were three of us!! I think our Tuesday Ten is dying a slow & painful death. 😝 Where I live, there are not many Jewish families – none that I know personally. I do think of you during the season, though, and sometimes wonder how all of our Christmas over-the-top-ness makes people of other religions feel.
I know you and I have talked about it before – it really doesn’t bother me. I’m glad I played along too – it’s hard to sustain a linkup for as long as you and Rabia have. You’ve done a great job; I’ve written some of my favorite posts for Tuesday Ten!
My husband and I decided early on that we’d be the ones to give our kids the big presents. Santa only brings stocking stuffers and a couple of small presents. We totally take the credit – good or bad!
Good for you, Jennifer! I’m sure Santa appreciates you taking on the big gifts for him.
Great job! I love this post. I think I scrolled for 20 minutes to get to the bottom of the comments. 🙂 I really liked how you did the pros and cons.
Thanks, Kate. I enjoyed your Around the World post, but I didn’t comment because my stupid antivirus program was blocking Disqus. Figured it out now though, so I could comment on your hilarious post today.
I am woefully behind on my blog reading – sorry about that! I love the new look of your place! Very simple and clean with just the right amount of sassiness. I love the tagline!
I must say that having Hanukkah fall so early this year has really made my holiday season a bit more relaxed. I loved being able to concentrate on gifts for my daughter and son-in-law in November and and my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren in December.
Great post!
No worries – I’m behind too. Too busy redecorating my blog 🙂
I love your final “but”.
I never bought that Elf. I am certain it would have scared me and that I would have hurt myself in the seconds that I wondered what it was.
Same here, Kenya – that Elf is freaky.
i love how you give both the pros and the cons. even as someone who celebrates this holiday, i have plenty of cons i’d like to offer up: the christmas music blaring as early as thanksgiving, the economic inefficiency of gift giving, the commercialization…i can go on and on. i love how you adopt a family for one night of hanukkah! you have such great traditions.
I guess we do, Catherine. It’s funny, I feel like we don’t have many traditions because we don’t celebrate Christmas. But it doesn’t have to be a big thing; just little things that we do every year.
Perfect, Dana.
Where we moved, there are -through an organization here- very large, electric Menorahs at different businesses around the city so we started talking about it with my son. It doesn’t take that much effort to wish someone a Happy Hanukkah rather than Christmas. I would certainly get behind any sort of holiday that forced our country to be nicer to each other for an extended period of time!
So would I, Jean. And teaching our kids about different religions and traditions is something all parents should do. It would go a long way towards tolerance and understanding.
I do celebrate Christmas and never quite understood how it got so out of control, so commercial. Cookies ??!!! I can’t bake for the life of me and if I do buy cookie dough, I end up eating more dough than what makes it in the oven.. so, no more cookie dough either! If the kids want cookies, they can cook their own, right? or visit friends whose mom’s have more self control than I do. Your children will be adults some day and appreciate that you held to tradition and taught them well. If they want lights, take a drive around some colorful neighborhoods 🙂
Exactly – and we do that! We take our store bought cookies into the car with us, and listen to holiday music while we drive around the neighborhoods. The kids love doing that every year – it’s our tradition1
We don’t have cookies because I am terrible at baking. My father is Jewish, so I have Jewish relatives. Several are married to Christians so they celebrate both. I love how you showed both sides and really for me it’s about the spirit of the season. I find Christmas and all the decorating and the crazy shopping overwhelming. I prefer quiet time with family. Of course this sense of being overwhelmed is probably why my shopping is not done! And it’s just not fun at this point. Shopping that is. I hate buying just to buy.
I agree with you, Michelle. We actually bought gift cards for all the nieces and nephews on my husband’s side this year. I’m not crazy about just trading gift cards, but I want the kids to have something they actually want and will use.
Oh and ps I like your re-design! You re-designed, right? I haven’t been here in a while [hangs head in shame]. Looks great!!!
I did change my theme, and my new header will be revealed soon! I’m planning on doing some “redecorating” over the holiday break since I assume it will be a little quiet in blog land. Thanks for noticing!
I hear you! I actually wrote a blog post a couple of Christmases back about how I totally am a grinch. (Good for you for not being negative like me!) I hate the crowds, I hate the materialism, and as a kid, being Jewish, I HATED not being part of it! You know what I love, though? Going out for Chinese on Christmas Eve. I only get to do that every other year, though since we alternate whether we spend Christmas with my (Jewish) family or my husband’s (Presbyterian) family.
Oh, I miss Chinese food and the movies on Christmas Day. We go to my Catholic in-laws every year. But we are usually free on Christmas Eve – why have I never thought of having Chinese food then?! Thanks for the great idea, Pam 🙂
I didn’t grow up here but I’m raising my kids in a part of the country where it’s difficult to be different, in any way. I’ve done a few things since my kids were little to ensure that they never felt left out.
First, I’d go into their classrooms with a program that the teachers allowed me to present. Nothing about religion at all, just traditions so the kids knew that my boys did fun things too. I’d read a book, bring treats and we’d break up into groups and play dreidel with Starbursts that I’d then leave in the classroom. It helped my kids be accepted. Some parents I didn’t even know would send notes home with my kids asking for dreidels and directions, which I printed up. Amazing for where we are.
Second, in order to make the most of the holiday season we’d have a Chanukah party at our house. Dreidel, and menorah cookies and fun. We were the only Jews there, but we were sharing with our friends. In return, we’d be invited to multiple tree trimming parties and holiday gatherings so ultimately we participated in everything.
I always told my kids that any time groups share and celebrate each others’ differences, every participant takes a small step in making the world a better place.
And now your children and your community can benefit from the sharing of faiths and traditions – that’s wonderful. My kids love being the “expert” on Judaism when their friends have questions. We are fortunate to live in a diverse area, so although my kids are in the minority, they don’t feel left out. If anything, I think it makes them feel special to be one of a few.
*love this* and the Elf annoys the crap out of me!! it’s creepy…like chucky creepy lol
I do love to come up with yummy holiday recipes though 😉 luckily I try and it keep it relatively healthy!!
=)
Jen
Yes – Chucky creepy for sure! You do have some healthy recipes on your site, Jennifer – I will find one there next time I get the urge to bake.
LOVE this post! My father being a Methodist minister when he passed away, I am of the Christian faith, however, I do not partake in the Elf on the Shelf stuff or as much of the secular holiday, sure I have a tree & stockings, however, this holiday has become commercialized (IN MY OPNINION) for the shops to make that $$$… I stand with you in full agreement. I’m late on the Jewish sentimental holiday, but, I hope you had a memorable Hanukkah.
Thanks, Amber – we had a lovely Hanukkah. Now I’m just enjoying the festiveness of the season. Hope you do too!
“Just because it’s not my holiday doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy all the festivities and good will that accompany it.” You hit the nail on the head, Dana. Honestly, I could do with a less stressful holiday season. Good for you guys!
Thanks, Alison. May your Christmas be as stress free as possible!
I love this! I honestly thought that Hanukkah was as big for the Jewish faith as Christmas is for Christians. I learned something! Here are two things you might find interesting: 1)We attend a Presbyterian church. However, our sanctuary is currently undergoing massive renovations. There is a Jewish temple across the street and our congregations have a long & historical friendship. So, while we cannot be in our sanctuary, we are actually worshipping on Sundays in the Jewish temple! Their Rabbi recently came and did a sermon for us, too. It is a very interesting and inspiring friendship that has taught me a lot about the Jewish faith.
2) Once, many years ago, my husband decided to send hams to several of his customers as a Christmas gift. He found out the hard way that one of those customers was Jewish and couldn’t eat the ham! 🙂 Luckily, he was very understanding and they had a good laugh over the whole thing.
It’s so nice that your two congregations can share a space and learn about one another in the process. And that’s funny about the ham. Pork and shellfish are definitely not kosher, but many (Reformed) Jews don’t keep kosher so it wouldn’t be an issue. You never know though. One of my son’s Hanukkah gifts this year was bacon flavored candy canes – he loves bacon and candy, so I thought it was a fun gift. The irony of candy canes and bacon for Hanukkah was just too good for me to pass up. Clearly we don’t keep kosher!
I like the way you did this! It was fun to read and see a Jewish perspective of Christmas.
Thanks, Natalie. I aim to educate and entertain at the same time, with varying degrees of success!
Christmas should be something we feel in our hearts. Unfortunately it’s become over commercialized and a gift frenzy. I think next year I may challenge my family and friends to pare down on the spending and use the extra time saved from shopping to spend in quality time with their families. Great post Dana. Merry Christmas! 😉
Lol – Merry Christmas to you too Barbara!
I’m not gonna lie, there have been times this week when I wished we were Jewish because then I could skip all of the Christmas stuff without feeling guilty.
I love the way you did the prompt today!
But then your house wouldn’t be so awesomely decorated, Kim! But I know what you mean; I do appreciate the lack of pressure.
Well, I don’t know a damned thing about what the Jews believe in or do for fun other than what I’ve learned in Adam Sandler songs, but I think you’re fantastic! Lol.
It is nice when people get along for a change, no matter what we believe in. Oh, and I hate that I can’t step foot into a retail store for an entire month until the new year begins. Geez!
Oh jeez, if Adam Sandler represents all Jews, we’re in trouble! I do love his Hanukkah songs though. They are oddly catchy, despite his complete lack of musical talent.
This is great. I love that you embrace all the good of the season and also recognize all the stupid crap. I send all my friends who don’t celebrate Christmas our card and they always love it. I hope you have better luck getting though Target this year although I highly doubt it!
I actually went today and it wasn’t bad – the key is to go mid morning when most people are at work. I love getting holiday cards; I would feel so left out if my friends didn’t send them to us!
I love this post! It is interesting to think about how people who aren’t celebrating experience the whole Christmas season. I am totally anti-Elf on the Shelf, too. Happy belated Hanukkah to you!
Thank you Sarah! It was crazy hectic being so early, but it is nice to sit back and relax now.
I liked your last item without the “but.” Even though people are being presumptuous when wishing you Merry Christmas, it’s nice to know you can accept the sentiment in the spirit in which it was intended.
Great list!
Thanks! People are just being polite; it’s not worth letting it bother me, right?
I love your tongue in cheek, serious but not holiday post. A friend of mine who is Jewish for had to start doing Christmas as her children all married Catholics. She feels we are all nuts especially now that she has to be involved!
That must have been quite the adjustment for your friend. We always went to the movies and had Chinese food for dinner on Christmas day, but once I started dating Matt I went to his parents’ house instead. I don’t mind that, but I do miss my egg rolls…
I love this post! I have many friends that do not celebrate Christmas but they get a holiday card from me every year. To me, Christmas is more than a Christian holiday. It is a time to celebrate having special people in your life, and for me that includes many of different faiths.
And as an on-line gift buyer, I am ready for the crowds to disperse so I can go in and buy razors so I am not a hairy beast!
I hear you! We send out a holiday card every year with a “happy holidays” sentiment. I do have to say I’m not fond of receiving religious cards from my husband’s aunts and uncles, particularly when they know I’m Jewish. But I focus on the thought behind the card, and I just don’t display it 😉
I LOVE that you did a flash mob! You totally look Christian in your shots! OK, that is a total joke. I am non-religious and celebrate both Christmas and Chanukah so I took some liberties here. I love your attitude about the holidays, totally laid back while staying loyal to your roots. You go, girl!
Thanks, Lisa. I can pass as Christian pretty easily 🙂
I was really excited to read this post when I saw your title. My husband is Jewish, religiously so, and I come from a Christian background so we do a lot of mixed-holiday celebrating. And I have learned A LOT from him about Jewish holidays and how it feels to be a member of the non-dominant culture, especially at this time of year. This year, I made the mistake of saying the Christmas tree is becoming more secular than religious, and boy, did that offend. You think I would have learned after seven years of marriage, and even I look back on the statement with some chagrin.
When I last taught, we lived in NC, and one of the little girls was distributing Bibles to her classmates (the Jewish girl in the class had told me about it). I passed the message on to the administration who handled the situation appropriately, but I could tell my teammates did not think the situation was as bad as I did. They pointed out that if a Muslim child brought in the Koran, we would celebrate it and share it. But, when I shared the story with my husband, he agreed with me because discussing and sharing the non-dominant culture is completely different than passing out the main book of the dominant religion, especially in NC.
I know there is no way I can ever fully understand how frustrating it can be to be Jewish in December, but I do try to think outside my own background. I can see my husband’s point in the situation above (and obviously, I agreed with him), but I also think he’s sometimes over-sensitive after a life of putting up with Decembers in America and living in very Christian communities. What are your thoughts?
Sarah – thank you so much for such a thoughtful comment. My own thoughts…I don’t think it would have been appropriate to share the Koran or the Torah in a public school either. Teach about it, yes, but not give them out to classmates.
I can understand your husband’s frustration. It’s difficult to be the minority in any situation. As a Jew, not only am I a minority, but most people assume I am not. I get it, and I usually just clarify for them and move on. My home and my temple are places where I am in the majority, and that’s a comfort. So if your husband is over-sensitive, I’m sure it’s from a lifetime of having to point out his differences. I get tired of it too, but that’s the reality in America.
I cannot love this post more!! I actually do celebrate Christmas but many of these totally apply to me, too!! (The picking up regular things at Target made me howl! I had a similar experience yesterday at Bed Bath & Beyond. GAH!!) Hang in there. I love your spirit and your non-Grinchness. I need to adopt your attitude!! I *have* felt a little bah humbug this year!! –Lisa
Just read some of your own hilarious post, Lisa – they should get you laughing and into the holiday spirit!
That’s lovely that you can enough the spirit even though you don’t celebrate! Thanks for posting.
It is such a happy time of year – I love taking it all in without any of the stress!
This was great! Hanukkah sounds like a much more reasonable holiday than Christmas. The pressure to have everything be magical on that one day of the year is a bit much sometimes. Thanks for sharing!
You’re right – one magic day is a lot of pressure! That’s probably why so many people get the after-Christmas blahs – so much build up for 24 hours.
Cookies are pretty awesome all year long, even without red and green dyed sprinkles!!
I really grew up oddly, celebrating both, and it’s more of the same now! Ah, the mixed religions or confused religion households.
We get the pressure of all!
Yes you do. Or look at it as the joy of both instead of the stress. It’s tough to separate it out, but it’s worth a try. And cookies make everything better.
Love this, Dana! But I wholeheartedly agree with the Considerer. Bakes some cookies for the sake of cookies. Mmmmm. Cookies. And I really, really, really hope my daughters never learn of Elf on the Shelf. That dude creeps me out too!
P.S. I’ve got a special holiday wish for you on my blog today. My wish list is equal opportunity!
Keep him far away! And I may bake under duress – I just have no willpower when those cookies are sitting on the counter calling my name.
Beautiful, informative and wonderful. And not a hint of Grinchiness.
Your Hannukah traditions sound really awesome, in spite of all those ‘but’s. And if you want to bake cookies, they don’t have to be just for Christmas…they could just be for cookies…
And hey, biggest positive (I reckon) is that apart from getting snarled up in Target, you get to avoid all the crass, overblown commercialism flooding into your house. It’s a shame you feel ‘drab’ about it though. I have a feeling that Christmas would be very, very different if it hadn’t been secularised into ‘an excuse for bright lights, gifts and a party’.
And I LOVE that you’ve also posted red and green and the flipsides 😀
I say “drab” in comparison to all the shiny lights – but I still think my home feels warm and cozy. And I never WANT to bake cookies, just eat them. And thank you for noticing my red/green theme. I worked hard on that!
I’m sure your home’s perfectly beautiful – it wasn’t intended as a slight.
LOL you gotta make ’em if ya wanna eat ’em. And they’re SO good, right?
It wasn’t taken as a slight – no worries 🙂 And I wanna eat them – that’s why I DON’T make them!
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I’m with you 😉
“footless elf” ahahah! He IS creepy, damn that elf!
My BFF is half-Jewish so I’ve been fortunate enough to learn of that culture/religion over the years and I’m always so fascinated with the different traditions. I cannot even imagine how obnoxious Christmas must seem to a Jewish person! Obviously it’s just part of life and always will be, but X-mas is a very “in your face” tradition to say the least. Lovely, but not subtle. Great post! Love the perspective and humor. xoxo
Seriously – I looked him up on Google images – he has no feet! You are right, Christmas is not subtle, but I don’t find it obnoxious. It’s just the way it is. Although I can totally do without six weeks of Christmas music!
This is perfect. I am not very religious (and the “very” Gods just laughed out loud. My step-mom is Jewish, we were raised lazy-Christian, and honestly celebrate our own version of it all each year. I do actually remember as a kid being jealous about the 8 nights of gifts, but now, realize how dumb that was. Such an excellent post
Lazy-Christian – I bet many people were raised that way! I know it’s natural for kids to be jealous, but it really is kinda silly. Happy almost holidays, Kristi!
You’ve perfectly captured the ambivalence that surrounds the holiday season for me. LOVED.
Ambivalence – that’s the perfect word to describe the whole season, Katia. I’m glad it struck a chord with you.
I love this Dana. It’s so interesting, and makes me realize how out of touch I am. You’re right- many Christmas celebrators (I am not quite exactly Christian, so…) assume that Hanukkah is Jewish Christmas. This was actually quite informative, and of course you still managed to crack me up with the TP and footless elf remarks snuck in there… Thanks for sharing this perspective!
I’m glad you liked it, Stephanie – I was trying to be serious and a little tongue and cheek at the same time, and I wasn’t sure exactly how it was going to play out. And I couldn’t be the only blogger in the world who didn’t write about Elf on the Shelf at some point this month!
I love what you did with this post and you are right that you certainly can still enjoy all the festivities, especially that flash mob, which I still can’t get over and seriously loved that you did do that! Thanks for sharing and as always for linking up with us again!! 🙂
I just had to mention the flash mob again – have a great weekend, Janine!
I have to confess – I too LOVE not having the “pressure” of Christmas. Sure, there are small gifts for teachers and neighbors but no big Christmas morning in my house. My Ex is Catholic, so the kids will have Christmas with him – but not with me. Which is fine. We have a small Hanukkah here – and also adopt a family/charity on one night! We’re 2 for 2 now, Dana, mall flash mobs and this!
It’s a banner week for us, Ilene! My husband is Catholic too, and my in-laws host Christmas at their house. It’s so nice to spend the day with family and not have to be stressed about it.