Picture this: You and your spouse are lying in bed. He is on his back, and you are nestled against his right side with his arm extended under you. Your right arm is free, but your left arm is squished and pinned uncomfortably between your side and the mattress.
Scene two: Same bed, same spouse. (Maybe. It’s your imaginary scenario, so choose whoever you want – I won’t judge.) The two of you are spooning. The front spoon is comfortable, but the back spoon has his or her side once again pinned against the bed and two bodies.
Matt and I have dubbed this phenomenon “T. Rex arm.”
A tyrannosaurus rex, for as powerful as it is, has two wimpy little limbs dangling uselessly from its upper torso. They are too short to reach one another, so the poor creature can’t scratch an itch, pick its nose (do dinosaurs have boogers?), or pick the stringy remains of the chap it ate for lunch out of its teeth.
Put your upper arms against your side, and wave your forearms around. Yes, you look like an idiot, but you have now experienced life as a T. rex. Ridiculous, right?
That’s how Matt and I feel in those positions I so vividly described. No matter the mood, if one of us mentions T. rex arm and attempts to waggle a useless upper limb, giggles are sure to ensue. The giggles are mine; Matt guffaws in a manly way.
We always talk about inventing a mattress that would solve this problem. Just make a slit in the foam, so that you can slip that T. rex limb through. Then Matt actually stumbled on one advertised online – it’s ALREADY BEEN INVENTED.
Seriously. It’s called a Modular Love Mattress, but I refuse to link to it here because I’m bitter. That was OUR idea. I will admit that it looks pretty stupid, though. Sometimes ideas are meant to stay in your head. You can Google it if you want, but it will be twenty seconds you’ll never get back.
So. You may have completely related to everything I’ve written, and now have a name to describe what happens to one partner’s arm when you’re trying snuggle. Or you have no idea what I’m talking about and I’ve wasted your time rambling about some nonsensical dinosaur metaphor.
Either way, T. Rex arm is a real thing. It’s the price we pay for cuddling.
I’m sorry. I might have missed that rest of the post after you said I could be spooning with Adrian Grenier. That’s what you said, right? He can have whatever arms he wants.
Seriously though, it’s uncomfortable, but nothing beats laughing in bed. Well, ahem, maybe something does.
True, but laughing is a close second. Sorry I distracted you with thoughts of AG – although you are pretty easily distracted 🙂
love the name you dubbed for that annoying arm situation. I am so going to check out that mattress and share it with hubby for our own giggles.
I hope he finds it as amusing as I did!
I didn’t really think about this phenomenon until you wrote about it. I can’t BELIEVE someone is trying to sell a mattress to allow for more comfortable cuddling! Too funny.
I know – it’s a bit ridiculous. And by ridiculous I mean “Dammit, why didn’t I come up with that first?”
Hilarious Dana. I’ve always had this happen to me, but I never gave it a name. And to think that there really is a bed that helps with t-rex arm. hahaha!!!
I know – it really is ridiculous!
Bill and I were just talking about this a few night ago! Well, actually it was more of me complaining, and him listening patiently. One of my clients refers to herself as having T-Rex arms after we do a kettlebell workout!
I could see that! That’s the sign of a great workout, though.
Hilarious! I’m sorry you are bitter 🙂 And I totally understand the arm thing!
I’m getting over my bitterness as I realize how tough it would be to sell those babies – what’s a little arm-squishing between spouses, right?
Thank you! Now I finally have a metaphor for those awkward moments! And seriously? Modular love mattress? The name isn’t even tempting to go look for it! You can still take their idea, improve upon it and release it into the wild!
I don’t think “T rex arm mattres” is any better as a name – I’d definitely have to come up with something clever!
That must be the mattresses they use in tv’s and movies because they looks so comfortable. I woke up in the middle of the night with both T-Rex arms numb!
That stinks – you may need to stop cuddling, Kenya 🙂
There will be a season between no heat and no AC that there will be no cuddling 😉
We deal with the same issue. Now I’m just happy to have a name for it! My husband is going to die when I tell him he’s not the only one haha.
It’s apparently much more widespread than I ever imagined, Jenny!
I’ve seen that ad! This is the mattress where there’s an area where you can insert your arm right? Saving marriages, one T-Rex Arm after another!
Exactly! I had never seen it before my husband pointed it out to me – kinda burst my bubble.
The modular love mattress! hahahahaha . This post had me giggling all the way through!
That was the goal, Alexa – glad I succeeded!
I had the idea of those baby fruit feeders (where the fruit goes in the net) made of a silicon tip with holes instead of that impossible to clean netting that turns black after the first banana.
Been done. I know the feeling.
I do have a nursing bra design in my head but I can’t sew.
So you can relate. In reality, I’m too lazy to pursue an invention anyway. But I like to pretend I could be a millionaire and a genius!
You know I had to Google the mattress. What a hoot! What will they think of next? But it does serve a need, doesn’t it? 😉
It definitely does! Notice the mattress isn’t for sale yet – it’s just the idea. I’m thinking it’s not going to be a bestseller.
If you perfect the patent and make an even better one, and call it “T-Rex Arm Fixer Mattress,” I not only would buy it, I’d invest in your company!
That’s very kind of you, Tamara. But I think your money is safe:)
HaHa!!! T-Rex arm is hilarious! I know exactly what you are talking about, but have never had a name for it. 🙂 Oh, totally not googling that mattress – when my arm goes numb, its time to roll over!
Exactly – that’s what we do too. We usually fall asleep back to back with a foot in between us.
I would totally buy into your invention! Same issue in our bedroom as well.
Whew – so it’s not just us. I was a little worried that no one would get it, and I would be dubbed the weirdo with a dinosaur fetish.
I’m just happy that I’m home alone right now so no one saw me acting like I had T-Rex arms!!!
Did you really do it? I love that, Kim – you made me giggle just picturing that. 🙂
Ha ha ha, love this! Why is it that snuggling requires Cirque du Soleil levels of flexibility? In our house, T-rex arms refer to a completely different scenario. You just have to look at one of my race pics to experience the sheer horror and hilarity. When I run, my shoulders creep up and I end up with T-rex arms. I like your definition much better!
That is funny, Nicole – I’ll have to see that for myself. Totally different definitions, but it sounds like they are both very accurate!
Modular LOVE MATTRESS? *making universal puke gesture* I’d totally go for the T-Rex arm solution. They’re the competitor, waaay cooler. 🙂
p.s. did I tell you how much I love the new design?
Thank you, Katia – I love it too. No more changes, unless I make a million with the T rex mattress.
Ohhh… maybe its not copyrighted and you can create your own version!?
After seeing how idiotic it looks, I think I’ll pass!
Oh my goodness this is hilarious. I’m not googling it because I have no desire (not literal desire) I am so not a snuggler. I cannot sleep with someone touching me so a bed with cutouts to do just that? UGH! Thanks for the laugh!
Sounds like this bed would be a nightmare for you, Stephanie. Glad it made you laugh, though 🙂
I don’t blame you for being bitter…It is just wrong when someone snatches an idea out of your bedroom and makes millions with it.
I know! Although I don’t think the mattress has actually been made yet – it’s still in the idea phase, and I have a feeling that’s where it will stay!
I know exactly what you are talking about…that is too funny that someone else thought to invent it. If it is any consolation to you, I can’t imagine there are too many buyers.
OMG, I’m buying! Create that thing!
It would probably cost thousands of dollars – I think I’ll stick with my T rex arm!
Totally not googling it, but know exactly what you are talking about. So not comfortable, but totally the price we pay to cuddle 🙂
Yep. I’m just thankful my husband will cuddle. Although I’m usually the one who gets tired of it and needs her own space.
OMG I cannot believe someone has actually made and sold that!? I’m not sure I want to Google it… 🙂
Don’t, Allie. It’s really not worth your time.
Oh, and also FRIST! BOOOOOOOOOOM! *grinsHUGE*
You win!
BWAHAHAH! I was gonna find you the mattress and link to it – I’ve heard of it, too 😀
And here I thought it was my genius idea – what a blow to my ego. 🙁