Have you seen the powerful video #LikeAGirl that’s been popular on Facebook? That phrase is often used as an insult, implying that doing anything like a girl is to do it Less Than. Is this the message we want children to hear? That running or throwing like a girl is to be weak or silly? #LikeAGirl should mean amazing and powerful, because it is Like You.
“Like A Boy” should mean the same thing. Girls and boys are different, but they are equally capable of doing great things. As the parent of one of each, I usually attribute differences to personality and not to gender. Yet having a child of each gender is a unique experience, as is having all sons or all daughters. Each scenario has its perks and its challenges, but the perks are greater by far.
10 Reasons Why It’s Great to Have One Child of Each Gender
1. If my future daughter-in-law hates me, I still have my own daughter. She’ll stick by me no matter how crazy I get in my old age.
2. While the girl uses a small ocean of water in the shower, the boy thinks a dip in the pool gets him clean enough. The girl is still combing the tangles out of her hair and the boy has showered, dressed, and completed a 500 piece puzzle.
3. The hair ball in the shower drain meows at me on a daily basis. If both kids were girls, it would roar.
4. While the girl wants multiple pairs of shoes for different outfits, the boy wants sneakers. When he must wear dress shoes, he wails and moans as if I were making him slip barracudas onto his feet.
5. My kids are comfortable with the opposite gender. Members of the other sex aren’t the enigmas they might be if my kids had no first hand experience living with one. While my son may never understand why his sister needs seven bottles of facial cleanser, he’s learned to accept it. And my daughter appreciates a good fart joke as much as any boy.
6. My husband and I can split up the “talks.” I went first, and then tagged out so that Matt could handle the second (male) child. While we both talk to both kids, it’s easier to discuss the hardware with someone who has the same plumbing.
7. Laundry sorting is simple. Underwear and socks are easily identifiable by sight. Contrary to popular belief, they are not identifiable by smell. Odor knows no gender barriers.
8. When a friend comes over to play (or hang out, since “play” is so elementary school), there are no fights. The solo sibling chooses to stay as far away as possible.
9. There is little competition because their interests rarely overlap. And while they certainly have their moments, they rarely fight over things because neither kid wants what the other has. Unless it’s candy.
10. I never wonder what it would be like to have a daughter or a son. I’ve been blessed with one of each, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But really, regardless of gender, what parent would?
i agree that it’s a parent’s dream to have one child of each gender. best of both worlds! i feel bad for families that have X number of the same sex, trying for that opposite gender!
The beauty of parenthood is that we love whoever we get, regardless of gender. I can’t imagine trying for a third child just to get another gender. Are you really going to love another girl or boy any less? Nope.
This is SOOOOOO TRUE!!!! And I envision more of your list as my kids get older!!
You have the same split as I do, right? Older girl, younger boy. So you totally get it. 🙂
Very funny list! I hadn’t even thought how having one if each makes sorting the laundry easier. I used to want two of the same because hand-me-downs are pretty awesome but I’ve come to appreciate and really love having a boy & a girl. One thing that’s nice is they each play with toys they might not have had otherwise – a toy kitchen, dolls, balls, cars & trains are for anyone’s use 🙂
So true – I remember my son playing dress up with his older sister, and she loved to play with his cars and trains.
Yes! Fortunately I have children of both sexes – and can relate to this all, except #8. For some reason my daughter thinks that whoever comes over – male, female, child or adult, they are there for her company and entertainment!
Ha – you mean they aren’t? 😉
I can’t wait to see how much of this will ring true as Lola and Malone get older. I love having one of each! I’m looking forward to some hopefully super girly days with Lola and my tomboy spirit loves that Malone loves sports and terrible jokes!
I love having one of each too. I’m sure having an older boy/younger girl is different than older girl/younger boy, but we do get the benefits of both.
hahahah!! Well, I totally cannot relate because of my two boys!! 😛
I too would have loved one of each gender, but it was not to be! I’m grateful that they do have the same interests though because they play (or hang out!!) with each other for hours!!
That’s one things that is great about same gender siblings. My kids do hang out really well together when we are on vacation though. It makes me happy to see them get along so well.
**The hair ball in the shower drain meows at me on a daily basis***
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, does it PURR, too?!! xx
Nah, it’s pretty ornery. At least it doesn’t scratch though:)
I can definitely understand the treat this must be since I have a brother who is just a year younger. I have a baby sister but she didn’t come around until I was 12 years old and by then, as I got into my teen years, she was just so young. But much of this was true for me and my brother growing up.
You and your brother are so close in age- I’m sure that had its pros and cons too. Mine are 3 years apart, just like my sister and me.
First I gotta say I saw the video a few weeks back and really enjoyed it. I dont think enough of us take the time to think about the power of our words. This list is great because it shows that each gender has their pros and cons. Too often you hear “I want a boy cuz girls are too difficult” this list proves that both genders are difficult and wonderful :).
Exactly Shae! Difficult and wonderful – so true.
In reference to #7, and as the mother of two sons only two years apart, I wrote a J or a D in their t-shirts and shorts tags so I could sort their laundry. Otherwise, I was clueless on many items! 🙂
That’s a good idea, Debbie. One kid is doing her own laundry now, so that makes it easy!
Yes to absolutely all of the above! So, so true. It’s so odd – almost all of my son’s and daughter’s pals have siblings of the same gender. The girls have sisters and the boys have brothers. Must have been something in the water those years that we missed out on.
Must be. Or maybe we drank whatever was the water and those other families missed out…
I’m so far behind on your blog, and I blame my silly Gmail app who keeps putting your posts in my promotions folder aka the folder I never open. I just saw this one on facebook and had to run over because I too have one of each. I love #6. While I haven’t had to have many talks with either of mine thus far, I am glad to know I’m exempt from at least one of the awkward talks. Having said that, my daughter and I were just getting our swim suits on to go out for a swim, and she said, “Mommy, your swim suit is different.” I asked why, and she then she patted my chest and said, “Because yours has bumps, and mine doesn’t.” I had to laugh.
That’s so cute! I bought my son one of those puberty books for boys and I thought he would keel over from embarrassment. I still talk to him, but Matt will get the lion’s share. It will be easier on James and on me. And I’ll have to start sending you personal emails when I have a new post 😉
I love having one of each gender and I agree, the differences sometimes are more due to personality. My daughter is very competitive and my son is overly sensitive. Mine are still young so they are BFF’s and when they have friends over sometimes they all hang together. I definitely expect this to change.
It probably will, although I love watching my kids when we are on vacation. They hang out together and seem to really enjoy each other’s company. I hope this continues as they get older.
Love it! Although mine fight over soccer balls…who borrowed whose, where it was left…
And my husband still thinks a dip in the pool means he’s clean. I wonder where the kids get it.
Ha! My kids don’t play the same sports, so there is no fighting over equipment or balls. If my son ever starts tossing the field hockey ball around, we’re in trouble. That thing is like a billiard ball!
I have three girls and one boy and I’m so glad I have both genders. They are so different and fun in their own way. My boy feels tortured most of the time but he can give as good as he gets!
I bet he does, as he should!
I have already decided that I will be the best mother-in-law ever since that is the only way I will have a daughter!!! Other than that, I’m totally happy having 2 boys – I’m afraid I wouldn’t be a good girl mom and that she would hate me:(
No she wouldn’t, Kim! I think all moms learn to parent their specific kids, regardless of gender. I will say that my mother-in-law (mother of three boys) cried when my daughter was born. She was the first grandchild, and my MIL finally got her girl!
I grew up with one older brother, but, of course, now I have three girls. Have to admit, I am a little jealous of #’s 6-10! Maybe I’ll have to do a list of the best thing about being a girl mom. 🙂
You and I are reversed – I have one sister, and now I’m parenting one of each. Not that either of us had any say in the matter!
Since I only have one child so far, I read this post thinking about my childhood, since I have an older brother. Many of them hit home! Forwarding to my mom right now. 🙂
I guess some things never change! I’m sure your mom will be able to relate – thanks for sharing with her!
You have no idea how difficult it is when it comes to sorting underwear with two girls. We always know when Daddy has done the sorting The other morning Abby shouted DAD I DON”T WEAR PRINCESS UNDERWEAR ANYMORE
Ha! I didn’t mention that I have a ton of trouble differentiating between Matt and James’ socks, now that my baby has big feet. I’m resorting to throwing them in a pile and letting the guys find their own.
Oh, and I watched the #likeagirl vid and it literally made me cry real tears! So powerful.
I cried too!
You actually had some really valid points that I never would’ve thought of! Very cool. I think the one that would benefit me the most is the play dates things. When my oldest has a friend to play with, my youngest always wants to play too, and often is left out. My boys are only 3 years apart, so often they have friends in common which can complicate things.
so funny….odor has no discrimination…lol! And fortunately for me, the hubs gets to have both the talks….whew!
You’re off the hook! The play dates really did work well; we rarely had conflicts or fights over friends. The kid without a friend just got to hang out with Mommy, and back then that was fun for them. Now they just retreat to a different floor in the house.
Yes yes yes! All so true! I have two of each so can doubly relate. 😉
I bet you can! I find sibling dynamics so interesting, especially when there are three or more. I bet you have some big hairballs in the kids’ bathroom…
Aw! I grew up with two brothers and am really just thankful that I had my own bathroom. I love this and hadn’t heard of the #likeagirl thing. Sad, really. No way will your future daughter-in-law hate you. No way.
I hope you’re right, Kristi. And I hope James wouldn’t be with someone who wouldn’t like me – because clearly she would have major issues!
Is it wrong that I wholeheartedly agree with #1? I think about that a lot. What if Des moves to China or his wife thinks I’m intrusive like I think my mother-in-law sometimes is??
And #10 is perfection to me.
The problem with the hairballs thing is that Scarlet wants Rapunzel hair and even Des has long hair. Help me!
I think about #1 a lot too. I’ve seen mother/son relationships take a nose dive because of the wife. But then I’ve seen some awesome ones too. As for the hair – I feel your pain. Gwen’s hair is really long and is everywhere. James finds balls of it in his socks after the laundry – totally gross.
Haha, I love that line “Odor knows no gender barriers.”
Sometimes I think I want another girl if I have another baby, but this is definitely a great argument for having a boy next! (Though I realized, since my sister and I are 5 1/2 years apart in age, that a lot of things could also be applied to have children far apart from my experiences with her.)
I think you are right, Bev. There was a part of me that was sad that Gwen wouldn’t have a sister like I do, but that doesn’t mean she and James can’t have a great relationship, especially as they get older.
I have 3 girls and 2 boys and your differences are so true for them. The shower thing is spot on. My girls are actually messier in the bathroom than the boys. I’m glad to know my oldest is not the only one with multiple face cleansers everywhere! 🙂
Yours too? The only plus is that when my son runs out, there is always plenty of spares to choose from!
A glimpse into the future! But I’m
glad to have one of each at 2 and 5 also.
You can avoid the big hairballs in the shower if you keep your daughter’s hair short! Because I’m sure she won’t have an opinion about that at all. 😉
Love it. You hit the nail on the head. It would be funny to see a post from Sue or Ghana or Shindiz to hear what is like to have all of the same. I am so happy that I have a chance to experience both genders.
Me too. But they are so different is so many ways other than gender, and I’m sure that’s the same for families with just boys or just girls.
If I didn’t have IUD just put in you might have convinced me! But seriously, your list totally made me smile and very convincing arguments here 🙂
There are perks to every gender mix, but we have what we have, so we might as well find the good in it!
I had to laugh at shower differences: it’s the opposite in our house! My son uses a small ocean of water, not to mention the bathroom looks like a tsunami hit it!
Really? That just shows that differences shouldn’t always be attributed to gender. In my daughter’s defense, it does take awhile to wash and rinse her hair – our shampoo budget is ridiculous!
This whole post reminded me of my childhood with my one brother. He was older and ALL of this applies!! As for me, I’m totally screwed since, not only do I have two boys but they are the EXACT same age. Currently, they share a best friend. How do you think that will turn out?? OY!
Uh oh – that may not end well. Or one of your boys may find a new best friend and it won’t be an issue at all. Kindergarteners are a fickle bunch! And you’re not screwed, you just get twice the fun. 🙂