I can probably name almost every Halloween costume my kids have worn. The first few I made, and then I got smart lazy and bought the ones from Party City and Target. With a boy and a girl, we have covered almost every category of costume there is, with the exception of the slutty ones.
My own costumes, however, are harder to remember. I dressed up every year, yet I can only recall a few costumes. It is the very last costume I donned, however, that is the most horrifying.
One Halloween, I dressed up as a housewife.
For real. At age 13-ish, I thought that dressing up as a plain, ordinary housewife was an appropriate Halloween costume. And I actually used that phrase: plain, ordinary housewife. What the hell was I thinking? What was my mother thinking, allowing me to effectively mock and stereotype an entire gender?
Me at age four, sick on Halloween.
My mom was probably picking her battles. She was probably so relieved to not have to create a costume for me that she let me wear whatever I wanted. Bonus points for costing her nothing.
And why did it cost nothing? Because I used her clothes to outfit myself.
As a plain, ordinary housewife.
While my memories of earlier Halloweens are fuzzy, I remember every detail of this one. I wore my mother’s old purple terry cloth bathrobe over a pair of pajamas. My feet were cozy in fuzzy slippers, and I scrubbed the electric blue mascara and teal eyeshadow off my face for an authentic, makeup-free look.
At this point I could have just been a girl in her pajamas. But to make myself look like a REAL housewife, I had to really bring it. I needed that extra je ne sais quoi that would easily identify me as a lady who lounged around all day eating bon-bons and slugging cocktails.
So I put my hair in pink curlers. Because everyone knows a housewife spends her day in curlers, so that she can look lovely when she greets her husband at the door at the end of his hard, stressful work day.
Given my costume, I could have simply been a woman ready for bed. I could have been a woman who woke up the next morning, took out the curlers, and got dressed in her suit before heading off to her high-powered job. Yet I chose to call myself a housewife, as if that is what a woman in charge of her household wore as her default uniform.
What is appalling to middle-aged, feminist me is that young Dana thought it was okay to represent the head of the household as a woman who couldn’t bother to put on a bra and a pair of shoes. But political correctness wasn’t really a thing in the eighties, and I was just a lazy teenager looking for an easy way to score some candy.
It’s a good thing Gwen never said that she wanted to dress up as a housewife for Halloween. I won’t loan my yoga pants to anyone.
ok this is totally hilarious. i know that some people can be sensitive and get offended, but i swear we gotta find the humor in this stuff. cracking me up.
I’m glad you find the humor! I’ve had a few negative comments on some past posts from people who just don’t have a sense of humor.
Happy belated birthday!
If only we knew then what we know now, right? I’m not sure any of us exercised the best judgement throughout our teen years. And I totally get you mom choosing her battles…
I totally get it, too. I pick my battles every single day, even though many days I feel like all I do is choose my battles!
As kids, we tend to be unthinking and don’t often realize how our actions could hurt others!
Thank God for curling irons, we don’t use curlers any more!! 😀
And my hair got curly since I was a kid, so no need anyway!
Based on your other commenters sentiments, I believe that belated happy birthday wishes are in order! I hope it was amazing!
Thanks, Debbie – it was a great birthday.
Happy Birthday! I love the ending. I would’ve never thought about it. I guess I wouldn’t have considered wearing curlers all day because I do like to leave the house on occasion. LOL!
Me too – I get dressed everyday, even if I don’t have plans to go out. I just makes me more productive. And thanks for the birthday wishes 🙂
Housewife’s have come a long way, BAAABY! xx
Yes they have! Thank goodness.
Loved this! It’s amazing what we got away with in the 80s. I’ve come to my feminism later in life, so I totally get how funky it is to realize that you didn’t “get it” as a teen. I jokingly told my 3yo I was going as a mommy this year and she said, “What are you going to wear?” and I said, “Jeans and a t-shirt” to which she added, “And a crown!” Queen Mommy. Maybe next year.
Yes – a crown is very fitting for a Mommy. Why didn’t I think of that?
ha! Yes the housewife these days would look different. I had curlers in my hair before my sister’s wedding.. for over an hour.. and Scarlet could not stop gawking at me!
It is an odd look, isn’t it? Fortunately I no longer require curlers, just a straightening iron.
HaHa – so funny that your teen version of a housewife was “plain and ordinary” and involved a robe, slippers and curlers!! Now a housewife would be “chic” and cry stylish even in yoga pants!!!
We’ve come a long way, haven’t we? And somehow my hair became curly in college, so I have no need for curlers anymore!
Dana, I don’t think that being a “housewife” is at all ignoble. It’s true that we don’t wear curlers in our hair, and prefer to call ourselves SAHMs, but I’m okay with the idea of the plain, ordinary housewife creating and nurturing a family. That said, I’d have to agree with you that updating the housewife costume to being a SAHM would actually involve yoga pants and Uggs! 😉
I suppose you are right, Anna. It’s just the word that gets me – I prefer SAHM too. I know that I was poking fun of it back then, and I think that’s what bothers me now. I had no idea that it was such a tough job, and one to be proud of instead of to mock.
I think it is perfectly natural to be ahead of our age. I would always pretend to play kitchen with my small utensils and mimic my mom cooking on any normal day 😉
Your mom was a sport to lend you her accessories.
Happy Birthday Dana!
Thanks, Ruchira!
Whoa, that was harsh! But I remember that costume. It seems like something a lot of people dressed up as for awhile. Now I think we call it something else–mean old lady? Something like that.
Maybe. I’ve seen kids dressing as babies, in onesies and carrying teddy bears. But no housewives. Halloween isn’t the greatest time to be politically correct, that’s for sure.
I love how your perspective changed with the years. We learn till the day we die don’t we?
Yes we do! And I’m more open to learning as I get older, which I think is a good thing.
And THAT is really how it was back then, ya know? Rarely a critical eye on stereotypes and yet- here we are, years later looking at this with disdain!! Did you wear your bathrobe and slippers too? How about some creme on your face for those unsightly wrinkles? 😉
Oh wait, back then they were barefoot and pregnant weren’t they? Making home made meals and sewing clothes and dusting the furniture.
Oh, dear oh dear oh dear…
I know, I know. I can sew a button on a shirt, but that’s about it.
I don’t remember many of my costumes from childhood either. I think we mostly just grabbed pieces from out of a big trash bag full of stuff and hobbled something together. I don’t even remember that stuff being available year round as dress up, either. I think we only got it out for Halloween!
I didn’t have dress up stuff, either – except for a few of my mom’s old dresses that I thought were cool. I will say that I did a happy dance when we got rid of my kids’ bin of dress up clothes!
This is great! I love your perspective now compared to then – those “What was I thinking?!” moments are the most valuable (and mortifying!). If my kids wanted to dress up as the housewife that’s me, they’d have to bring the minivan along. Hope it was a fabulous birthday, Dana, and Happy Halloween!
Thanks, Nicki – you too! My daughter could actually dress as me – she has as many yoga pants as I do! But I’m one of those odd moms who feel better when I’m dressed in real clothes, even if all I’m doing is going to Target.
Hahaha, first, I love the caption over the stock photo. And wow, yes, I’m amazed your mom was cool with you dressing like a “housewife”. At least you know better now 😉 (And also, housewife is really just the most awful word. What does that even mean?)
I looked it up – it’s a married woman who is in charge of her household. Which is pretty much every married woman. The term is just so outdated, isn’t it?
*snorks* I love, love, love the way you ended this…that was very clever 😀
BUT, who knew anything in the 80’s right? And little (sick 🙁 ) you is ADORABLE and so smiley.
I’m glad you had fun, regardless. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY (again, because I can) 🙂
Thank you, Lizzi! I don’t even remember that Halloween – my parents filled me in on the details of the photo. I do remember those yellow vinyl kitchen chairs, though. They spun around which made for fun mealtimes. For me, probably not for my mom.
Oh my god – you have no idea Dana but that is exactly what I did. At 13. I dressed up as “the typical housewife.” Curlers, slippers, dressing gown. Schlepped around the neighborhood, knocking on doors, asking for candy. What was I thinking????? I obviously wasn’t. Yet – people gave me candy. Nobody turned me down. Hmmmmm. They probably wanted to get rid of me asap. Imagine if you and I met up that night! Holy mother of a vacuum.
Were you ever Twiggy?
No Twiggy – I don’t remember ever dressing as someone famous. I got lots of candy too, although I bet people just thought I was a girl in her pjs – not a plain, ordinary housewife.
Hahahaha! This is so funny. I guess this is a stereotype of housewives right? Maybe you saw this on TV? I remember watching the movie the Help and it seemed that many of those wives had maids so they actually were dolled up housewives. I think either your perception or the one from that movie is what I had for the longest time.
I don’t know where I got that stereotype, Brittnei. My mom worked and certainly did not spend the day in her robe and curlers. I think you are right – it’s a perception that needed to be challenged!
Happy happy birthday my awesome friend. In my post, when I said that my brother and I dressed as men? We were dressed as “hobos” which well, I didn’t have time to explain the horror I feel at it now and wanted to get to the other message in like well, the time it took my husband to come home and to eat and to have not started FTSF again (one of these days, I’m writing it early I swear). I love the housewife one though and actually, kinda went as that last year as “Super Mom” with the messy hair and ketchup stain on my shirt. At the time, funny, but now I wonder why I let myself even go there, ya know? Thanks so much for hosting and doing so on your BIRTHDAY!!! <3
Your Super Mom was updated for the times – I liked it! My housewife costume was straight out of the 50s. Thanks for the co-hosting gig!
Happy Birthday Dana. And if I was your mother – I would have grounded you:)!
Thanks, Allie. Not only didn’t she ground me, she loaned me her robe!
I had Lily sick last Halloween when she was three years old. I will say this she still wore her Belle costume but was so pathetic. Still though I am with you on sharing my yoga pants with no one 😉
It stinks to be sick on Halloween – hope she’s healthy and ready to head out this year! And yes, yoga pants are not to be shared.