I am the victim of a zombie apocalypse.
I have staunchly refused to get on the Downton Abbey train. Kerry Washington’s fabulous wardrobe has not tempted me to watch Scandal. I know I would have loved Parenthood, but I would not commit to six seasons of an hour long drama. The irony of that statement will soon become clear.
If there is a bag of candy in my house, I will eat it. The whole thing. My willpower is strong in the grocery store but falls to pieces once chocolate is in my home. I know my weakness; I tell myself I might as well just finish the bag so I can get back to eating healthy. And then I finish it.
For years, I have held off on subscribing to Netflix for the same reason. Once it comes into my house, I am a goner. So I have resisted getting it, just like I have resisted watching any new television shows. I like the few I watch, and that’s enough. I don’t need the time suck, and I know I would go all in once I had access to entire seasons of entertainment. Books would be discarded, writing would be ignored, projects would be put on hold.
Yet I deluded myself. This one time, I thought, I would get the bag of candy and not eat the whole thing. I would ration it and savor each piece, and it would last a long time.
That lasted for two days, and then the zombies came.
Matt and I started watching The Fall on Netflix, in the few hours of quiet we have after the kids head to bed on the weekends. We don’t have time to watch together during the week, so we picked a series that only has two seasons and a handful of episodes in each one. We can watch one or two a week, and finish by summer.
Then on Sunday, I found myself with some quiet time. The kids were doing homework, Matt was doing work, and I was feeling lazy. I flipped on Netflix and saw the zombies. The Walking Dead is in its fifth season; was I willing to make that commitment? Could I catch up on four seasons?
I am now in the midst of the zombie apocalypse; I’m eating the whole damn bag of candy. I watch when I’m folding laundry. I watch on the treadmill, sound cranked up to the maximum so I can hear over the hum of the machine. I watch while I’m eating lunch, which is not a wise move. I watch at night while the rest of my family is doing their own thing, and I watch after they go to sleep.
I feel guilty, but I cannot stop. I feel guilty because I don’t want to stop.
Yesterday I was driving to Trader Joe’s, and I saw something on the road. I thought it was a piece of zombie flesh, because I am NUTS. Today I looked out over the shopping center parking lot and glimpsed what I initially thought were the walking dead shuffling along. What will I see tomorrow? I haven’t started dreaming about zombies yet, but I’m sure it’s coming.
My Entertainment Weekly magazine arrived earlier this week, and this was the cover.
I quickly tore out the article without reading it, and stuck it in a drawer to read once I’m caught up. I’m trying to avoid spoilers, which I know is futile. People die constantly on this show; how in the world will I be able to shield myself from knowing what happened to my new comrades?
I could hole up in my bedroom and watch the entire series. Don’t think I haven’t considered that.
I am hesitant to share my shameful behavior; clearly I have a problem. Yet this problem is precisely the reason why I have to write about it. I actually have written a little this week, but I’m having trouble focusing. So I sit here at my computer and pour out my heart, just like the zombies have been pouring out their guts and brains for the past four days.
I’m setting a horrible example for my children. My family is making fun of me, and my husband thinks I’m obsessed.
I don’t disagree with him.
I fell into some zombie guts and tried to wipe that shit off but nope..
…I got addicted too.
I. Love. It.
I will have Darryl’s babies.
I said it.
Don’t tell my husband.
I won’t tell! I’ve been watching some Inside the Episodes clips, and he is even better when he’s showered and clean. Yum.
Walking Dead – YES! I binged watched this on Netflix late at night after the kids were asleep because I thought they would get nightmares from the zombies and all the gore. I told my husband to watch it because it’s so good. He caught up with me quickly by watching it with the kids on his days off. So much for trying to protect them! Enjoy the instant gratification, because once you’re all caught up you’ll have to wait every week for a new episode like the rest of us!
I am now caught up, and I’m okay with waiting – just think of all the everyday things I can now accomplish!
I have not been able to get into the Walking Dead. I think there aren’t enough crazy attacking zombies for me. I’ve watched the first three episodes to start, but not my cup of tea. But Scandal, Parenthood and the Good Wife? I’m all there! Good luck trying to get away from the apocalypse!
Oh, I’m all in now, April. I love The Good Wife too – but at least I’m caught up with that one.
Omg let me know when you’re caught up. Love Walking Dead. I also get obsessed. Glad i don’t have Netflix but a friend does and we just finished Black Mirror. Only 6 episodes. But wow. Can’t recommend that one enough.
I will let you know! Black Mirror – just six episodes? Ok, I’ll check that one out.
This is why I don’t watch tv! LOL I know I miss out on a lot and people think I am nuts, but oh to catch up with all the episodes…it seems so daunting! I sometimes catch a show when the others are watching in my house, but I need the ones where you don’t have to follow along week after week!
I’m sure you are much more productive than I am, Michelle. It is daunting – I won’t commit to another series like this again.
My name is Jill and I watch the Bachelor and Downton Abbey. I don’t bring doughnuts into the house because….hello, there’s 12 of them and that practically means I have to eat every single one. I can absolutely relate to this…even though I have not succumbed to the lure of the zombies. My hubby and my daughter watch and they insist I would love it if I’d give it a try. They are probably right.
Oh, they are so right. But if you already have your addictions, you may want to steer clear.
Okay, so I have to admit that I am the pre-Netflix Dana. I just flat out don’t start with shows anymore, because I get just addicted as you to them. I purposely dodged Breaking Bad for that reason. Ditto TWD, Parenthood, etc. etc. We have Netflix, but I’m as careful as I can be around it so that I don’t accidentally lose a month of my life binge-watching. It would be sooooo easy and delightful to do — until I finished and realized everything that I’d need to catch up on!!! 😉
BTW, if you are in full-on zombie mode, check out Zombies, Run! It’s a running app in which you run around your neighborhood on a prepared course while dodging the zombies that are out to get you. Fun stuff, although if you are actually seeing pieces of zombies IRL, then maybe this might be a bit too freaky!!!
Yeah, I’m going to pass on the app. I’ve resisted all of those time suck apps so far!
OK, so we’re kind of a weird household…we really don’t watch TV. Movies and things on DVD or streaming that we decide we’re interested in enough to check out. I could never do the Walking Dead thing but the Hub would watch it – probably does when I’m not with him because he knows I couldn’t/wouldn’t/won’t. 🙂 I don’t even know what half the current things are! I do keep hearing about Parenthood so perhaps I need to check that out. I did the binge watching thing with the David Duchovny series Californication. I love him and he does not disappoint in that.
I think I would have liked Parenthood, but I can’t invest any more time in established series. One excellent series that you may want to try is Transparent. It’s on Amazon and it’s been on for one season, ten 30 minute episodes. Low commitment and well worth it!
I have to say I love this post. I tried to avoid The Walking Dead. My husband would try to get me to watch, but I just don’t like zombies. Then I realized there was a young boy and his father. A baby on the way. How can you keep a child – a baby – safe during the apocalypse? I was hooked! And I am ashamed to admit I have moments, after a Walking Dead marathon, that I run to my car in the dark, just because, or I think I hear a walker in my basement because, well, I’m crazy. LOL Welcome to the world of The Walking Dead! PS: I LOVE that picture of Darryl on the cover. 😉
Me too! The show really is about the people, not about the zombies, isn’t it? I find it fascinating, but I hear and see walkers too.
I tried to watch The Walking Dead. I watched a couple of episodes with my teenagers and ended up having nightmares for a week. I just can’t do it.
However, I am obsessed with a few other shows on Netflix, so I completely understand where you are coming from. I am hooked on “Emergency” and “Blue Bloods” and I watch both shows in marathon sessions whenever my kids go to their father’s house and I find myself alone with the TV.
Surprisingly I haven’t had nightmares yet – but if American Horror Story didn’t give me any, then I think I’m safe.
Ok so far I’ve resisted Walking Dead but watched Transparency in like 3 days. Same with Orange is the New Black (SO GOOD). I just started Parenthood. Sigh. Thanks for linking up!!
I will NOT watch Orange is the New Black. I will not. I will not. I cannot. I hope I have the strength to stay away.
Hahaha! So zombies are your kryptonite, eh? I saw a few episodes of Parenthood but it was too sad. I’m with Tamara – I like my shows to be fun and funny like Modern Family and Veep. TOTALLY with you on the “might as well finish the bag now” method of eating candy. It’s a problem…
Oh I love VEEP too! Half hour shows are awesome – VEEP gets me through laundry folding every week!
You would love Parenthood! Maybe someday when you’re out of Zombie episodes, you can try it out.
Such a lovely family, but lots of tears. Enjoy!
It’s hell. Pure torture. With my two away at college I have forced myself to stay away from Netflix. Oh man. If I tune in, just for a peep, I’ll be sunk. There is NO ONE TO TELL ME TO STOP. I know. It’ll be “OH just ONE more.” I’ll become a sloth, the pets won’t be fed, my friends and family will be ignored. My darlings will come home in May and find me gobbling up soup from a can.
Oh my gosh – that could totally be me! Thank goodness I have to care for my children or I may never stop. If you ever decide to tune in, let me know and I will check on you to make sure you aren’t becoming a zombie.
ha! Own it!
I am not on the zombie train because I like my shows to be about sugar and spice and not zombie flesh, but Cassidy’s on that train!
And I’m certainly on it with other things.
You make a pretty zombie.
Thank you! You wouldn’t say that once I started gnawing on your arm, though..
I love to binge watch shows, but I have a hard time finding the time to do it anymore. I do love saving up a show and watching an entire season in a week or two of evenings, though. I’m a longtime fan of Scandal but haven’t been able to watch recently so I’ve been burning through new episodes in the evenings! And Downton… so good! You’re missing out. I can’t watch Walking Dead though — TOO SCARY!!!
Nah – it’s not that bad. I will NOT watch Downton Abbey though. I’m sure it’s good, but I just can’t invest in another series.
Dana, I’m not going to lie. This is hilarious! But I totally get it. We had Netflix for a short time and there was this one show about these gymnasts that I got hooked on….even had hubby watching hahhaa. We have our shows that we watch on regulae TV though now. One show we watch called Empire. I see it would be great if we had it on Netflix so we could watch more than the one episode but maybe not so great for the amount of hours we could spend in front of the TV at once!
You’re right, Brittnei! It was easier to watch television when the kids were little and in bed by 8:00. Now I have to lose sleep to watch!
Ha, I don’t have Netflix and for the same reason you have resisted. Once I get it…it’s all over. I have my set shows I watch each year…it works out perfectly to give me 1 hour of tv a night, each night of the week. I may/may not watch a movie on the weekends. Yet, my friends who have more series recorded that seems humanly possible I’m always asking them how in the heck do they pull it off? It always ends up being the same (in a roundabout/beat around the bush) answer – that’s 90% of their life. In front of the tv. NO THANK YOU. Almost anything cheese snackable has the same kryptonite effect on me that chocolate does for you, Dana! Resistance is futile! 🙂
I know, Mike – I will embrace this binge, but no more after this! I like the small number of shows I watch regularly, and I can keep up without it taking over my life.
Bwaahahhaa! I admit to being a Downton fan, but have never watched a zombie show. Not sure I should now…
Oh, it’s so good! But it’s a major commitment, and my kids are old enough to feed themselves if I get too engrossed. 😉
I haven’t seen The Walking Dead, but I kind of like it when I find a show that’s good enough to binge watch 🙂
This is really my first binge watching experience, and I’m going to try to avoid another!
Oh, golly, this is me. Down to the EW subscription. Though I admit I haven’t watched TWD. Brian saw the first episode and said we needed to watch it, but here I am in the midst of watching every episode of the Gilmore Girls. Before that it was The Good Wife. And, yes, I am the exact same about chocolate. Can’t even buy it. And right now, I have an surprising and absolute love for gummi bears.
Isn’t The Good Wife awesome? One of the smartest shows on television. And gummi bears would be safe in my house – not my thing. Although if that’s all I had in the way of sweets, I’d probably cave.
The Walking Dead is one of my favorites and well worth the obsession. Don’t be ashamed — eat all the bloody, gory, rotting candy. Oh, and swooning over Daryl is also a worthy past time!
Yep! I’m trying to avoid spoilers, but I was happy to see him on the cover of EW and know that he was still alive in Season 5.
Your (initial) resolve reminds me of why I did not start scrapbooking! I knew once I started I’d be a goner (which is also why I avoid Pinterest!).
I did dabble in a few episodes of “Real Housewives” on a flight recently… while not as gory as zombies, I did feel completely sucked in to that horror world.
I watched the NYC housewives for a season or two, but I’ve found that I prefer fiction over real life. I’ll take zombies over rich and whiny women any day!
O don’t watch any of those shows either because I don’t have time to get sucked in like that. Also why I don’t/didn’t read much. I finally finished Gone Girl, but for three days all I wanted to do was read it and find out what would happen. It was great – and awful.
I totally get it, Lisa. Sometimes I’ll stay up really late finishing a good book, because who really needs to sleep?
Haha! I love that you fall for shows like I do. There’s just something about zombies! It’s sooooo much fun. 🙂
It is – I think I’m going to be sad when I’m caught up!
Years ago I got sucked into watching Gossip Girl on Netflix (but those were in the days when you actually had to rent the DVD’s). One Sunday I spent the ENTIRE afternoon watching episode after episode of it. I felt like a zombie afterwards. So in other words, I can totally relate.
It does suck you into that world, doesn’t it? As much as I’m loving the series, part of me just wants to finish so I can get back to life!
Haha! I haven’t seen this show, but I definitely feel like having a whole series at your fingertips on Netflix is a double edged sword. Still wouldn’t want to give my subscription up though!!
That’s what they are counting on!
Sometimes I think we might be related!! I’m with you on the chocolate and the binge watching!!! I watched all the seasons (I think it was 6 or 7) of Sex and the City in less than a week so I could go to the movie!!! I try to limit my shows and still haven’t hopped on most of the current popular shows!!! Chris and I binge watched Modern Family the same way!!! (and then I was sad when we were al caught up!!)
I think I’ll be sad when I’m caught up on The Walking Dead – having to wait a week between shows, and then a whole summer?
HA!!! You are cracking me UP! Derek LOVES that show… I have no interest in zombies, so I think I am safe from that one. 😉
Don’t start watching with him…you may have trouble staying away!
I think I would have resisted the Netflix craze too, but then someone gave us a 1-year subscription as a gift last year. It was all over after that. The good news is that there are some amazing shows waiting for you – Orange is the New Black, House of Cards. The bad news? Like the rest of us you may never unplug again.
I know! So I’m sticking to one obsession at a time.
I was that way last summer – House of Cards and Orange is the New Black!
Ahh, two more shows that I am resisting. Now that I know how addicting they can be, I am staying far away!
I am the exact same way about junk food! I don’t buy it because I don’t want it in my house, but if it makes it past the front door, I will eat it all just to get rid of it! I’m currently working on all the chips we bought for Super Bowl Sunday. I have no idea how three bags ended up in my shopping cart!
They sneak in there, don’t they?
Maybe it’s the name Dana, but I relate to this ALL too well! We do have Netflix and my husband watches a ton, but I’m very selective because my time is so limited and I tend to get hooked.
I am still holding a grudge for how he got me addicted to Breaking Bad which is an incredible story, but so dark and terribly depressing. He was like, so stop, but it was too late, the train had already departed.
We watch The Walking Dead and I’m hooked now, though because I started early I don’t need up catch up 🙂 I was concerned with the violence, esp after just finishing Breaking Bad and he was like, oh no it’s almost comical bc it’s so unrealistic – and while I cringe at times, I’m fully invested.
It’s so funny that you see zombie flesh on the road 🙂 it’s so true how those things creep into daily life!
I know! I never watched Breaking Bad, and the temptation has passed for me. The Walking Dead is gory, but I find it pretty fascinating. What a character study – seeing what an event like this does to people.
Well I don’t have to worry about that one. The photo above freaked me out enough. For that I am grateful that you’re email subscription comes through in the morning and not at night. 😉 So did you give up Transparency? I finished. I’m ashamed to tell you how quickly I finished it.
Oh, I finished it very quickly – it was excellent!
You crack me up! Bill and I are like that with House of Cards. As soon as Netflix releases the new season, we are all over it. And… just a few more weeks until the next season is released!!!
Hmmm- it’s tempting but I think I’ll stick with one show at a time!
I tried to avoid it for years. I even was a zombie snob saying I would never like a zombie apocalypse show. I am now hooked. My name is Amy and I am a Walking Dead addict. I have now recruited my husband who is trying to catch up at odd hours of the night. It is a problem. Welcome to the dark side.
Thank you Amy – good to know I am in excellent company!
Welcome to the wonderful world of zombies… and binge watching! For me, it’s the only way I can watch television…our schedules just don’t allow for scheduled programming.
Enjoy 🙂
I watch everything on the DVR too – but with Netflix I don’t have to worry about running out of recording space.
Welcome aboard the zombie train! What is wonderful about the obsession is that the show doesn’t disappoint. Enjoy every gory second.
I partly blame you, you know 😉
Kevin watches this and I have tried my best to steer clear, but trust me I have my own TV obsessions, including Trueblood when it was on so I know if I gave Walking Dead a chance I probably be just as addicted, as well. So, I can relate to your admission here for sure.
Keep steering clear, Janine! You don’t have time to get sucked into another series.
Welcome. Welcome to the wonderful world of TV obsession. It’s best not to fight it and just soak it all up and 100% own it woman! This happened to me with Breaking Bad and I don’t regret a single moment of it.
I’m owning it, even with a sliver of shame. But not enough to keep me from watching!