This is a Jekyll and Hyde sort of piece today. Part musing, part snickering. A little bit serious, a little bit funny. I’m channeling both Donny and Marie; I’m a little bit country and a little bit rock ’n roll.
***
My first name was Girl M—, written in black marker on the index card attached to my hospital bassinet. The card is tucked in my baby book, scotch tape still adhered to the top and bottom, a rusty yellow.
My parents gave me the name Dana Michelle. I’m not named after anyone, a fact that never bothered me until I was pregnant with my first child. Then I felt like something was missing, that connection to a relative who was no longer here. I wonder who my parents would have named me after if they had chosen that route. My paternal grandmother? My paternal grandfather, who had passed away just ten days before I was born? Both were killed in car accidents far too young. How do you pass that legacy onto your newborn child? I suspect that wasn’t even considered, although I have never asked my parents about it. I’m going to ask them about it. I want to know who would have been a part of my name history.
My first name is short, better to go with a ten letter surname. Dana doesn’t lend itself to nicknames, although my parents called me Dana Banana with a long A in banAna, so it rhymes. Even now, my mother will occasionally call me by that childhood endearment.
I never wanted to change my first name, although I had absolutely no attachment to my middle name. I never felt like a Michelle; it only felt right when paired with Dana. When I got married, I dropped Michelle, and my maiden name became my middle name. This saddened my mother; she misses Dana Michelle. I didn’t understand this before I became a mother, but I do now. My husband and I – although it was really just me – gave our daughter my maiden name as her middle name. If she shed it for her own maiden name when she got married, I would feel the loss. That is the name we gave her; would we lose a part of our little girl if she cast it off for a new one?
I mourned my last name when we were married, although not enough to keep it. I wanted to share a name with my husband, but I would have rather shared mine, or combined the two. I proposed taking a new name that combined both of ours. I said it in jest, but I wanted to hold onto my strong name that has always sounded poetic and musical to me. My married name is harsher, more guttural. I don’t love it, even though it has been mine for almost twenty years. I still dislike being called Mrs. H—; that is my mother-in-law. I cringe when I receive an envelope addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Matthew H—. Where am I in that address? Where is Dana?
Dana. Dana I love. It is my name, it is me. It is who I was within minutes of my birth, and it is the first gift my parents gave me. It is who I was even as I shed other names and shrugged on new ones.
I am Dana.
*****
Ready to shift gears? If I couldn’t be named Dana, what would my name be? My grandmother used to say, Call me anything, just don’t call me late for dinner. Here are ten possibilities, in honor of Unique Names Day (today, because why not?)
1. Dayna. I knew a girl in summer camp who spelled her name this way. It looks right phonetically, but no one ever spelled it correctly.
2. Sue Ellen. According to the Buzz Feed quiz “What’s your hillbilly name?” that I took on Facebook the other day, this is mine.
3. D Dana Foxy Nugget. That is my rapper name, according to a random rapper name generator I once read about on Eli’s blog.
4. Beth. After I read Little Women, this became my favorite name. When I played school, Beth was always my best student, and she always got straight A’s.
5. Daner. One of my college professors pronounced my name this way, and a few of my college roommates still call me that sometimes.
6. Meanest Mom Ever. Well earned, and proud of it. I’m not called this much anymore, but I always took it as a sign that I was doing my job well.
7. Anad. I went through a childhood phase when I liked to call everyone by their name spelled backwards.
8. Ma’am. I hate when people call me this, even though they are just being polite. When did I go from “Miss” to “Ma’am?”
9. Damien. This is the name my mother wanted if I had been a boy, although my grandmother and my father were not fans. Imagine how popular I would have been in elementary school when The Omen came out?
10. My favorite one of all….Heidi Heavensizzle. That’s my stripper name, according to a quiz I found on Baby Center. Yes, Baby Center.
If you could pick a different name, would you? Would it be Heidi Heavensizzle?
My mother gave me her maiden name as my middle name, and I did the same for my son.
I did not change my last name when I married. I feel very tied to my background/culture, plus my mother-in-law and I have the same first name so I was already cringing thinking of having the exact same first and last name as her. I love her, but I’m sorry, we cannot share the same exact name!
I don’t blame you, Catherine. I still don’t like being called Mrs. H, because that’s my mother-in-law. One day my daughter-in-law may feel the same way. I’d prefer to just be Dana.
I still regret that we didn’t choose my maiden name as the middle name of one of my children – but then I now use it as my middle name so I guess that makes up for it. When my newest grandson was born, my daughter and son-in-law chose his middle name in honor of my sister who passed away just one short week after finding out that my daughter was pregnant. I can’t tell you how much it means to me and the rest of our family to have K’s spirit carried on through the gift of the middle name.
In other news, my stripper name is Buffy Belleair. Pleased to meet you Heidi!
Hi Buffy! That’s a good one. I can imagine how meaningful it is for your grandson to be named after your sister. It’s nice to be named after a relative, but when it’s a relative you knew personally and loved so much…that’s a comfort, I think. Gwen is named after my grandmother, and it makes me happy because I loved Grandma so much.
Fun post! My mom didn’t give me a middle name and I always felt sort of gypped. She decided to do that because she didn’t like her own first name and always went by her middle name and was annoyed when people called her by the “wrong” name. If I hadn’t been Elizabeth I would’ve been Bernadette except my mother said she didn’t want people to call me Bernie. My husband’s name is Paul but his name was almost Valentine. I kind of like that we could’ve been Bernie and Val. My best friend in kindergarten was named Dana, btw. Off to find out my stripper name now, Ms. Heavensizzle.
Is it a good one? I can’t see how it could be better than mine. 😉
Gladius Maximus. And the photo was of a man. Hmmm. Not sure how to feel about this.
Oh, no – you need to take a different quiz until you get a name you like.
I can’t count the times I heard that mocking, “Jana Banana, fe fi fo fana!” when I was in grade school. I absolutely hated my name. I wanted to be a Kristina Michelle or a Belinda Marie. But now that I’m older, I appreciate that my name is not run of the mill. My middle name is de – that’s right, small D, little E. My parents pronounced it “Dee” – but really, it’s “duh” like the Spanish pronounce it. Since the Spanish “de” means “of” – I always wanted to marry someone named L’amour – because apparently Jana means “God’s gracious gift” so, I would be “God’s gracious gift of love”! Hee hee!
I suppose you could have been “Jana of” a lot of things, right? I was never teased since Dana doesn’t really rhyme with banana, but I was put in the boys’ gym class in middle school.
Okay- I think I couldn’t love you more, and then you go and make me Laugh OUT LOUD with your hilarity!!!
I love Beth too.
But my favorites are your hooker name and your rapper name.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
“Meanest mom ever”- LOVE!!!
Oh, and Dana Banana… just makes me sigh and whimper. Just adorable.
Ask your parents about that. Definitely ask.
I did, Chris. My dad wanted me to be Michael, but I would be the third, and my mom didn’t want that. I’m glad I was a girl; it made things easier for my parents!
I so understand mourning your maiden name when getting married. It was never a question for me and the Husband; I always knew I would take his last name. But it really felt like I was losing a part of my identity…losing the only part of me that proved I had the Italian/Cicilian heritage that made me so proud.
Love your rapper and stripper names. Those name generators are so much fun. And we’re name twins on #6…wear it proudly.
I do! I’m outgrowing it, though. Or maybe my kids are!
I was quite eager to give up my maiden name, but that is a long long story about why. 😀
My parents picked my first name so it couldn’t be nicknamed – fooled them. People did it anyway.
I have the same middle name as my Mom and my Daughter shares it as well. I like the connection. We are all the oldest or only child in each of our families, too – it’s a cool connection.
Names are so important and people feel very strongly about them, whether love or hate.
Now. Heidi Heavensizzle? That is awesome. I think I must find my stripper name on that quiz. I’ve done the one that gives you elf names or something from Lord of the Rings. Nothing quite as spectacular as Heidi Heavensizzle.
It’s a good one, isn’t it? I’m gonna keep it.
My college friend was Dayna with that strange and extra “y”!
In high school I decided I hated what I had always been called – Tammy – so I tried out Claudia. It lasted a whole day!
Finally in adulthood I decided I was to be the name on the birth certificate. Tamara!
You don’t strike me as a Claudia, and even Tammy seems strange to me. I met you as Tamara, and that’s what you’ll always be. 🙂
I hated my name when I was little. Though it was slightly unusual in Scotland where I was born, when we moved down to England a few years later it became clear that pretty much every second girl born in the late 70s/early 80s was called Claire, and I’ve never been a fan of being normal. So I tried to change it. To Kylie. I started a new school, and the teacher asked us to write down what we would prefer to be called. I realise now that she meant if you were called Katherine you could write Kate, or whatever… but I wrote Kylie. Got away with it until parents’ evening.
Though I think that everyone should do whatever feels right for them, it amazes me that dudes still get away with keeping their surnames in the 21st century!
I know! I did not know a Claire until I was in my thirties; I don’t think it was popular in the U.S. Kylie’s cute – your parents must have been quite surprised to learn that their daughter had a new name!
My mom and I share a middle name: Ann. My dad decided on my first name: Kimberly. When I got married the first time I dropped my maiden name altogether and became Mrs. Hubby #1. When we divorced I decided to keep the name for reasons unknown to me now. Probably because I was too lazy to be bothered with changing it.
When I got married a second time I became who you see now: Kim Ulmanis. I’ve gone by Kim [Last Name] for years because Kimberly has always felt too stuffy for me. Kim is short, simple and easy to spell. I like Kim because it feels like a spunky name. Kinda like me. Hehe.
I like Kim too. It’s funny – another Kim commented earlier and said she didn’t like her name. You are definitely a Kim, not a Kimberly. And it sounds great with your last name!
I love the name Heidi! And this is a good post idea since it’s fascinating to hear the stories about people’s names and what they think of them. I can understand how parents might not like their kids changing their names, given how much thought goes into the decision- I’ve thought about first and middle name combos waaay too often for someone who’s not even expecting!
I don’t think we realize how big of a deal it was to our parents until we have to name our own child. At least I didn’t!
Foxy Nugget and Heavensizzle can be your alter egos, Danie.
I was always the only Eli in my class, but now, there are a few on the soccer field, and I’m not used to it. I’ll hear someone yelling at an Eli on the field next to ours, and I look because I think I’ve done something wrong.
I have a good friend named Dana, and it drives me crazy when we are in a group together. I turn around every time I hear my name, and half the time it’s the other Dana.
My name is Kimberly Cathleen and my maiden name begins with a K. When I was born my middle name was supposed to be spelled with a K as in Kathleen because my mom thought it would be super awesome to have all K initials….think about it my grandma said….think about it….three K’s….yes….not so cool mom.
I worked in a peds ER and I encountered some pretty ridiculous names. We had Lemonjello and Orangejello (that is what the mom craved when she was pregnant), we had a Nos-Moking (No Smoking sign is what the mom stared at while she was trying to push her son out in the hospital) and of course Labia as in the lady parts.
Oh, you always have to consider your initials! I’ve heard the jello names before; I always thought that was a joke. Nos Moking is awesome, although not if you are that poor kid.
Heheheheh I like your stripper name, but I like your name-name a LOT. It is simple and beautiful and NICE.
I do not like my name. I especially do not like my middle name (Anne; which to me sounds like someone trudging in wellington boots). I do not like my maiden name because of associations with childhood and loneliness and awfulness. And Mrs Rogers is my MIL so I don’t like that, either.
In school, all the girls went through a phase where we all wanted to be called Jessica. No idea why. It’s just pretty, I guess.
I don’t know what name I’d like for myself.
This will do, but I’m not thrilled to pieces about it.
Well, there’s a ringing endorsement for “Lizzi”! 😉 I like your name – is your full name Elizabeth? So many nicknames that can come from that one name.
It is. And I hate that worse, because associations. Yet what to be INSTEAD! In the end I think I must be a Lizzi, and if not that, then I am slowly collecting a bevy of gorgeous nicknames, which I love.
Yes, and the nicknames are often more meaningful, because they are given after a person knows who you are.
I had a hard time giving up my maiden name too (both times) but did. I made it into my middle name. People who knew me when still call me Rieger (but like Reeeeeeeeger). I like my name although it used to drive me nuts when people accidentally called me Krissy. And nobody can call me Kris (except my dad and brothers). I loved reading the beginning of this and learning more about your family and your feelings about your name. Oh Anad reminds me – when I was a kid, I had one of those personalized books. My pet was a giraffe named Itsirk. I still wonder how he’s doing.
I think given my Downton obsession I’d go with Lady Nina.
I don’t watch! But Lady Nina sounds good to me.
And guess who I’m named after? Grace Kelly. Yup. Wish I had her looks too. Although not her history. If not Kelly I was going to be Dot as in Dorothy. Apparently. No thank you. I much prefer Kelly. I’m also glad they didn’t go with Grace. I’m not a Grace. Trust me. I didn’t go through a phase where I spelled everyone’s name backwards however in the summer of grade four I had to touch everything four times. Drove my mother crazy. If I had to pick another name I don’t think I would. Huh.
If James had been a girl, Grace was a name I was considering. I like Kelly better than Dot – it just wouldn’t work with your blog name.
6. Meanest Mom Ever!! haa
My boys always said this. My response was, “That’s my job, babe!”
That’s what I say too. And I’m damn good at it.
So funny! My mother was sooo tired after giving birth to my younger sister that she gave us BOTH the same middle name- Ann. real original right?
That’s hilarious, Cheryl! At least she didn’t give you both the same first name.
Like George Foreman’s kids. EeeGads.
Ha! I’m going to start calling you Heidi, I think! 🙂 I was at a girl’s night out a couple years ago and we had had a little too much wine. There was some formula for figuring out your stripper name that included the name of the street you grew up on and the name of your first pet. Some of them were very interesting!
I love the first part of this. I dropped my middle name, too, when I got married. Since my middle name was my mom’s name, I wonder how she felt about that? I didn’t really think about it much when we named our girls. The two youngest both have middle names that come from relatives. It will be kind of sad if/when they drop them.
I remember that stripper name formula! I like Heidi better though. I wonder if Gwen will drop her middle name (my maiden) to keep her last name. I couldn’t blame her, but it would make me sad.
Ok, I’m going with Heidi from now on because that just makes me laugh whenever I think about it. I really wanted my name to be Heather when I was little (maybe Heather Locklear, maybe it was just easier to spell (or pronounce). I still have issues with Kirsten (which for the record is K-ear-sten, not Kurstin or Kristen than you very much), but I can’t imagine another name. #6 I get called often, not proud of it, but I think it means I’m doing the job well. Regarding the maiden name…I couldn’t ditch that soon enough. A mouthful of German that had to be spelled every single time I said it or a proper Scottish name. Yeah, that was an easy choice. Love this idea. Talk to you soon Heidi!
Shame, Baby Center lol!
I like my name, though ‘Nina’ is actually an affectionate name and is not my first name. I wish I only had one single name to avoid all the confusion! That’s why I call all my kids by their first names and not their middle or nicknames so they don’t go through what I have to!
I imagine it would get confusing – we are a first name family – no real nicknames or calling by middle names. Keeps things simple!
Okay, now I’m going to take all the quizzes. Also – I hate ma’am, too. It really makes me feel old.
My parents were going to name me Tiffany. And I mean no disrespect to anyone named that but it is not my favorite. At some point my grandmother intervened and they switched me to Stephanie, and I’m very thankful for that switch. I also gave up my middle name (Ann) and switched it to my maiden name when I got married. I wouldn’t even let us be announced as Mr & Mrs Greg R at our reception because I felt it made me disappear. This was a great post, it makes me want to write one of my own. Judging from the comments I’ll bet a lot of us could.
You should write one, Steph! You are so not a Tiffany. I did the same thing at our wedding – we were introduced as Dana and Matt H. I addressed both kids’ b’nai mitzvah invites like that, and I’m sure some of our older guests felt like that was a faux pas. But that’s how I like to be addressed, so that’s what I did!
I don’t remember knowing any Dana’s when I was little, but I did know at least one Michelle. I grew up “Debbie,” and after about 1970 it seems that zero baby girls were given that name. It’s fallen by the wayside like Mildred or Gertrude. Only my dad and mom (and a couple of friends) called me Deb until I started my blog. Deb Runs has a better ring to it than Debbie Runs.
Depending on which quiz I look at, my running name is either Niggles McSpeedy or Miles Marathonso!
Ha – I love both of those. So I always call you Debbie because that’s how you put your name in the comments. Do you have a preference? My cousin is Debbie and I still call her that, but most of her friends call her Deb.
I should have clarified – online I’ve become Deb since I started my blog. I like both Debbie and Deb, and don’t really have a preference. 🙂
Oh good – I hate calling people by names they don’t like!
If we ever meet in person (thinking a race someday), I’m going to call you Anad! 🙂
Please do! Although I wouldn’t hold your breath waiting for me to sign up for a race. 😉
Heidi Heavensizzle?? hahaha It has a nice ring to it. You know, names are a strange thing, and I went through a very similar struggle when I married the hubs. I did keep my maiden name….until I was pregnant with our first. By then I’d softened a bit and liked the idea of our family having a matching last name; we would be like a tribe. I loved the sound of that. still do. I don’t miss my maiden name now, but it is a very strange custom that dates back to when women were considered property. Now, of course, it doesn’t have that connotation, but it’s still a hard pill to swallow when taking your husband’s last name and losing what was your identity for decades!!
I love that Beth is your fave name. I think I knew that from an older post. I like it, too, but I’m a little biased. 🙂
It was a hard pill to swallow for me, and I was only 23 years old! I like that Beth is my favorite too, and that every Beth I’ve ever met made me like it even more.
🙂
Okay, so many thoughts! I love the name Michelle:)! If I’d had another little girl, she would have been Lila Michelle. Michelle would have been after two of my best girlfriends. All my kids have family names for their middle names. Audrey’s middle name is the same as mine and my mothers and my grandmothers. I will die if she ever drops it. (Especially since all of her brothers have names from their dad’s side – plus the Smith!) I kept my middle name. I was tired, after 30 years, of having to spell it and pronounce it. But now that I’m the last one in my family, and my brother didn’t have any kids, I’m a little sad about it.
What a lovely tradition you have in your family. I know what you mean about your maiden name – I have a sister, so if Gwen doesn’t keep it as her middle name, it will be gone from our family. That makes me sad too.
After reading your post I decided to link up something applicable that I forgot about 😉
There’s a game I play on my iPad and I use Aynek my backwards name as my name. I think it looks neat. I’ve always loved my name, though I’m not named after anyone. My name was chosen in the hospital while my mom looked through magazines. I had no attachment to my middle name either and if I had had a daughter I was going to give it to her. I dropped it as my first middle name once I got married and my maiden name is now my middle name.
Quite a few of my “old” teachers and now my MIL say my name with an ER. Kenyer. I can’t stand that. Was your professor old? All professors are old aren’t they?
I thought he was old back then, but who knows! Kenyer – that is hilarious. It would bug me too. Why do people do that? How odd.
Oh, I love D Dana Foxy Nugget – choose that one!!!
I never have liked my name – so plain. In high school spanish we had to have a spanish name so I was Raquel – I tried to get that to stick permanently but…..
Both of our boys have a middle name for grandpas (Hunter is Jack for my Poppa and Jordan is Earl for one of Chris’ grandpas). Chris is actually Thomas Christopher and his dad was Thomas Wayne and his day was Thomas….we thought about Thomas Jordan but I didn’t want him to have to deal with going by his middle name forever.
That’s one thing I didn’t have to worry about…in Jewish tradition you don’t name after anyone living. It made things much easier!
Can I call you Heidi Heavensizzle from her on out? That’s just too wonderful. I was named Sarah Ellen Summerlin three days after I was born. My parents debated between Sarah Ellen or Jean Ellen for three days! Good choice, parents, good choice.
I’m third of four females in one line with Ellen for a middle name. Had to continue that one, though I have a different last name than the rest of my family (handy for a little blog privacy, though–they aren’t Brian, Maggie, and Leo Summerlin).
Sugar Dixonsizzle. It doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like Heather Heavensizzle, does it?
Oh, and Montenegro is pretty.
Yes, call me Heidi Heavensizzle anytime. I think I’ll stick with Sarah for you, if you don’t mind. And thank you – I love my maiden name, much more than I did as a kid. I miss it.
Hey Heidi Heavensizzle!! Nice to meet you! I love that you included the silly quiz names we’ve all taken. They come up with some real doozies sometimes!
They do, and they always crack me up!
I love this post.. it’s funny how people react to their given names. My “real” name is Virginia, but NO ONE calls me that.. I’ve only ever been called Gingi! I even had it legally changed, because it was so prevalent in my life! I sometimes wonder if my daughters will like their names.. especially Thyme! hehe! I love it, but some people look at me like I’m nuts for naming her that…
I suppose she’ll either love it or hate it, right? Thyme will tell…(sorry, I couldn’t resist!)
Hahaha, everyone is allowed one. 😉
I hated giving up my maiden name, first I got moved to the head of the class from the back 😉 but more it was who I had been for over 30 years….
I felt the same way for awhile, Kerri. It took me a long time to get used to my new last name, and even now I don’t like being called Mrs. I’m my first name, not my last.
Something tells me the first part came from a certain fabulous online writing group lesson? Or maybe not. 🙂 Loved the post. And your list of would-be names are great.
Yes, it did! I wasn’t even planning on it, but when I started writing a funny bit about names, I decided to include it. That was a great prompt (but weren’t they all?).
Anad,
I loved recognizing the beginning of this wonderful post as I read… and where you took it in part 2!
Love,
Anej
Thank you Anej! Just rereading and proofing it made me smile.
With my mom’s slight Boston accent she sometimes calls my sister Daner! (I call her Danie, with a long A like in Dana.) If I were a boy, I would have been named Brian. I didn’t like my name when I was younger — I knew no one my age with that name. In fact, I think I only have ever met one other Beverly who was my age. For awhile I contemplated going by my middle name, Lisa. And of course, in religious school, I often was called by my Hebrew name, Baila. Now? I totally own Bev!
I’ve never been called Danie – Dane and Dee, but Danie is cute. I’m glad you own Bev – I think it fits you perfectly!
Luved this post. I’ve always had a problem with my first name because my parents spelled it with an E at the end – Lynne; most people leave off the E. Strangers, and even some friends and family members, spell my name without the “E” and when I see that it looks so totally incomplete and wrong to me. As for you, my Dana banana, your father’s choice for a name for you, had you been a boy, was Michael, after him. As much as he did not like the name Damien I did not want you to be a junior or a III. Thankfully, it was not an issue! I wanted an uncommon name for you and Dana fit the bill. When your sister was born I lost the name battle to you and Dad…..the choice was certainly not an “uncommon” one – Amy! Now I need to go on the web and find out what my name would be if I was a stripper or rapper!
Oh I adore this! I loved learning the story of your name and your feelings about it. I’m named after my maternal grandmother and it’s so wonderful to feel that connection. Just yesterday my son was asking me the origins of his name…
My favorite of your unique names is Sue Ellen – I’m a sucker for anything country :). And I’m happy to hear I’m not the only one called no 6!
I was so glad to go back to my name when I divorced! My son has my last name as a second middle name, which is nice for me as my dad’s only biological child (my sibs’ father was killed very young) and it’s a Filipino tradition.
I was really pleased one day when my son announced that he loved his name…then added “I wouldn’t wanna be called Lucy!” We all think that’s a great name but, yes, he is NOT a Lucy 🙂
Ha! I asked my son this morning if he liked his name, and he said, “Yup.” He has a regular middle name, and my daughter has my maiden name. She complains about it now, but I hope she’ll come to appreciate it when she’s older.
Well of course I love this one. ..I didn’t even realize it was about our wonderful name. First off…I love that picture of you and your mom. Wow. .it is amazing how much you look like her. That is a keeper.
Secondly. ..I love our name too. Being that last names seem to have a way from getting taken from me…I think I will leave this world the same way I came in. ..Arthurs. it makes me smile to see it after all these years.
Dayna is what my boyfriend in college told me all Jewish people names their “Danas”. I liked this spelling. ..I always knew I wad meant to be Jewish.
Jill…like your Beth…I always named myself Jill in playtime.
Wild Rose is my stripper name. ..according to the quiz I just took. ..yuck. I like my original Jasmine Sandstone.
Either way. ..I am sticking with our name.
Thanks for reminding this am how much I love my name.
Jasmine Sandstone is a great name, but I like ours better. I can’t think of a more awesome friend to share it with!
Number 6, we may need to share as I am sure as my girls are growing up I will earn that lovely name, as well! But like you, I truly couldn’t picture being named anything else though in the end either!
Yes, Meanest Mom Ever is a name shared by many of us, I’m sure!