The first time I created a “Who I Am” scrapbook, my final page was completed twenty-two months after the first page. I wrote:
As I finish this scrapbook…I contemplate all the blessings I have had in my life in my first 33 years. So many of the dreams I had as a child and a teenager have been realized. I wonder where my life will take me in the years to come, and I think about the goals I have for the future. Some are more realistic than others, but they are all worth being written on this page. Where will I be in ten, twenty, thirty years? Who will I be? Only time will tell.
Ah, younger Dana. That was so passive of me, thinking only time will tell. While I don’t have control over everything that happens in my life, I certainly have some. I don’t love the words “dreams” and “wishes,” because those also denote a passivity that didn’t seem to bother younger me.
I wrote of my dreams fulfilled: married to a man I love, a mother of two healthy children, a home owner, hobbies I enjoy, a good relationship with my parents and sister, wonderful friends, girls’ weekends, family vacations, and good health.
Okay, younger Dana. Those aren’t bad. I would even categorize the first two as actual dreams fulfilled, since I remember wanting those things when I was a kid.
The wishes for the future are more interesting to me; my old scrapbook is an unburied time capsule that I can peek into anytime I choose. These were my wishes for the future twelve years ago, and how they have been realized:
A marriage that grows even stronger
It has, and still does. I look forward to spending my empty nest years with my best friend.
Happy, successful children, and staying involved in their lives
So far, so good. One just finished her first semester of college, and one is a sophomore in high school. I’m staying involved enough; the college freshman and I have a ninety day Snapchat streak as an easy way to keep in touch while she’s away. I hope that we will continue to be close as they grow into adults and leave the nest.
Decorating and furnishing my own home
This one made me laugh, because it’s taken years to be in a place where I could do what I wanted in my home. Our kitchen remodel was the inspiration for starting this blog, and I love making our home look good and feel cozy. I say this as I sit wrapped in a blanket – my home may be cozy, but I am always freezing!
Creating my own business
This was a more far-fetched wish, but I have realized it to some extent with the creation of my own space here. I’ve been able to springboard the blog into writing pieces for anthologies, other websites, and magazines. I would still love to fulfill this wish in another way, although I’m not sure how. I often wonder what I will do when I’m an empty-nester and my gig as a stay-at-home mom is up.
Traveling
Check! While there are still many places I hope to see, Matt and I have traveled to some amazing places – among them Rome, Venice, Florence, the Swiss Alps, San Francisco, Vancouver, Seattle, and New Orleans. The kids have been with us on almost every trip, and I love discovering new places with them. I look forward to traveling to Europe again when Gwen studies abroad, and to seeing more of the United States with my favorite travel companion.
Aging gracefully and exercising
Ha! I’m trying. I didn’t exercise at all twelve years ago, and now I exercise five days a week. The aging gracefully part is both physical and mental. I’m doing Pilates to stay limber and protect my core and back, and I feel confident in my skin. I know that may be more challenging as I age, but I strive to embrace where I am.
Being content with my life
I love that younger me listed this as a wish for the future. Right now I am content with my life, and that is my number one wish for the future. Everything else falls into place behind that contentment.
I wish to continue choosing to be happy.
*****
This post completes the year-long Who I Am project, a written record of the pieces that make up my story. If you’ve joined me on this writing journey, by either writing on your own or reading my story, thank you. I am currently creating a Who I Am book with all twelve posts, so that my children, grandchildren, and great-children will have a tangible record of my memories. I look forward to sharing it with you next month!
What a beautiful reflection back over your life, and I dare say the best is yet to come. My favorite part of being an empty nester is rekindling what brought my husband and me together initially. I love this chapter of our lives and thoroughly enjoy having adult children.
Happy New Year!
I’m so happy to hear that, Deb! Although a part of me is sad to become an empty nester, I do look forward to all the great things about it.
This was such a wonderful and inspiring reflection of a life well-lived and continuing to be well-lived with intention.
Thank you Nina!
I love that you went forward with the Who I am Project and wish I had participated more. I think we are a lot alike and my hopes of the future would be very similar – continue a string marriage, happy & successful children, travel, self-confidence & being comfortable in my own skin. Most of my closest friends have already hit 40, but I have a couple more months to go. Age has never really bothered me – at least not he actual number – but, now, I find myself aging more quickly/harshly than in the past and it has made me more retrospective. I don’t have a journal from 12 years ago, bur back then I had a two year old, a newborn, and was preparing to move to a new city. I suspect I was mostly just in day-to-day survival mode and not thinking much about the long term future! 🙂
I’m sure you were – it’s harder to be introspective when you are elbow deep in diapers and bottles! I know it’s tough to face the big 4-0, but so far that decade has had more ups than downs. I wish I could celebrate with you!
what a beautiful reflection/introspection. i hope you are having a wonderful hanukkah!
We had a great one, Catherine – always low-key, which is perfect. Hope you had a Merry Christmas!
I can think of no better way to end this “Who I Am” project than to go forward living the mantra, “I wish to continue choosing to be happy.” Who knew when we started this in January that November would bring such upheaval. I’m inspired by your look at past goals and wishes continuing through to future hopes and dreams with the determination to remain positive and continue to grow into yourself. I’m right there with you. I choose happiness, I choose kindness and I choose love.
Wishing you and your family a joyful holiday season!
We had a great holiday, Mo – I hope you and yours did too. Let’s remind one another to keep choosing those things; I have a feeling I may need that reminder in 2017.
Lovely post and we share many of the same dreams. As far as the business start up, you are very talented and creative and I have no doubt you’ll find something fabulous to do with those skills once you are an empty nester.
Happy Holidays and I look forward to more of your inspiring posts and projects in 2017.
I did mail my first letter today, Julia…we should talk about that more. Thank you for inspiring me!
Lovely.
Insightful.
Hopeful.
Evolving ( ALWAYS )
Superb photos. Love you wrapped in the blanket! xx
Ha – that’s how I can often be found between October and April!
I want that! I want to grow closer to Cassidy and watch our kids grow and age gracefully and TRAVEL. I love what you wrote to Kristi (been staring at it for five minutes while deciding how to tell you I’ve read this post three times today) about it being dreams fulfilled AND wishes for the future.
I hope you get it all, Tamara. And I hope you take lots of photos and share them with me!
I love that you have a scrapbook like that from when you were younger. I have scrapbooks full of photos but none really have much about what I was thinking or wishing for at the time. I had journals but I’ve since shredded and tossed them (sob – silly me) thinking that 1. I wasn’t totally honest because I always knew somebody could read them and 2. I was so much less confident than I let on to anybody. I got your email but wasn’t sure what the topic is for this one – is it wishes and dreams for the future or is it more looking back at our old dreams and where we are today with them?
I so very hope that when Tucker is in college and in high school that we snapchat (or whatever exists then) daily and that I can stay involved. Not doing so feels too sad… he still believes in Santa. Like completely.
It’s both, Kristi – dreams fulfilled and wishes for the future. I had a diary in middle school – oh how I wish I had kept that! I hope Gwen keeps all of hers.
I love that Tucker believes in Santa – we all need that magic in our lives.
Oh wow, right before reading your post, Sam and I were talking about our condo and how two years in we’re nowhere close to where we want it to be in terms of feeling “done”. It feels like a home, but it doesn’t fully feel like it reflects us yet. I guess that’s a wish for my future 😉
I like that we both wrote about traveling!
You know, Bev – sometimes I feel like my home still isn’t done, but it’s a work in progress. I have come a long way since my crappy craft projects and sponge painting!
I have been quietly following along with you and your Who Am I posts – this is such a lovely post to tie it all in. I wonder what your thoughts on all this will be 10 years from now 🙂 I hope you have some wonderful holiday time with your family Dana!
Thank you so much, Jennifer – you too. Thank you for following along!
What more could a mother want for her child! I am so proud of you and so happy for your happiness. I luv you to the moon and back!!
Luv you too xoxo
I love your final thoughts here and choosing to be happy is absolutely the perfect way to live life. So that to me sums up the 12 months of discovery and discussion here wonderfully 😉
Thank you Janine – and thanks for participating!
Unfortunately for me, the only journal I have is from when I was fresh out of college and it’s absurd!! I love that you have something to reflect on from your 30s. And yes, happiness is ALWAYS a choice – your life is what you make it and you have done an amazing job!
Although…you could work a little harder in the exercise area though – LOL!!!! 🙂 You know I’m totally joking!!
I know you are, but I could work harder. I need to mix it up!
You could probably get lots of mileage out of that college journal should you choose to share your words with your adoring fans. 😉