Before my college freshman heads back to school for her second semester (yes, she is still home), I asked her the hard-hitting questions that every high school senior wants to ask. Or should be asking but doesn’t know to ask. Or doesn’t want to ask, but their parents do.
I was a bit nervous for winter break; I had been warned by those who came before me that the first extended period back home can be challenging for both the college freshman and parent.
We had our moments, but for the most part it was wonderful to have my baby home. I did my part by giving her space and independence, and she did hers by respecting our house rules and behaving like a contributing family member instead of a house guest.
The college freshman was game to answer my questions, which served the dual purpose of providing information for this post and giving me a peek into her life at school. I’ve paraphrased her answers with the exception of the portions in quotations marks; those were too good not to quote directly. My comments are in italics.
Q: What surprised you about college in a good way? In a bad way?
A: Homesickness. I was surprised that I would be homesick and have to adjust, and it lasted on and off for a month. “I didn’t think I would be homesick, no offense.” None taken, I guess?
I was pleasantly surprised that I had so much free time. I’m in class for fewer hours than I was in high school, so that gives me more time. Also, by living on campus I could see my friends a lot.
Another surprise was how much walking I do. Some days I walk nine miles, but on Sundays I barely walk a half mile – to the dining hall and back.
Q: What didn’t you bring that you should have?
A: Here’s my list:
- More ziploc bags, sandwich and gallon sizes, for organizing my stuff and for food storage
- A fabric bag hamper instead of a two-handled one. I can put it over my shoulder and still have a free hand to open doors.
- Amazing pens
- More printer paper
- Enough decorations for the walls
- Puffy coat
- More dishes and dish soap
Rest assured that we have purchased all of these items, although I have no doubt that there will be more Amazon packages heading her way this semester.
Q: What did you bring that you didn’t use or need?
A: I brought five of my favorite books that took up “a copious amount of space,” but I brought tons of photos, which was good. I ended up hanging up all of them.
I brought so many t-shirts, but I just wore my favorites over and over.
Other things I shouldn’t have packed:
- Plastic utensils (one set is plenty)
- My new white comforter
- A robe, because I just walk down the hall in my towel
- Wedge sandals, because I wear Converse sneakers when I go out
I was thrilled to know the new robe is not being worn, and equally thrilled to buy a navy comforter a month into the school year. A white comforter in a college dorm is like a white sofa in your family room – not a good idea. I warned her, but apparently she had to learn this on her own. She will be purchasing any subsequent comforters with her own money.
Q: What were some stress relievers, or things you did to relieve stress?
A: I wasn’t really stressed, because I keep a planner and a list of things I have to do. But during finals, I did lots of organizing and clothes folding. That calms me, and gives me a break from studying. Cleaning my room helps too.
If you had any doubt that this is my kid, wonder no more.
Q: Do you have any study tips to share?
A: “One word: FLASHCARDS”
I use flashcards to help me memorize things, and I also write out a study guide, and teach it back to myself. Sometimes I use different colored pens (see amazing pens in answer above).
Q: Did what you did in high school work?
A: I had to study a lot more; I don’t remember studying in high school.
I remember her studying in high school; how quickly she forgets! But it certainly wasn’t close to how much she studies in college.
Q: What was harder than you thought? Easier?
A: It’s hard to not have enough space, especially when I’m sharing a room. The food is not great either – get the minimum dining plan!
At this point, the 15-year-old boy chimed in and said, “I will be getting the maximum dining plan.”
Sleeping in my new bed was easier than I expected; my mattress topper makes it very comfortable. Finally! A purchase worth every penny.
Q: What changes are you making next semester?
A: I’m using my new planner, and I’m going to try to eat in the dining hall more. I’m renting all of my books instead of buying them, because I got pennies when I sold back my books last semester. I’m also going through rush as soon as I go back, and hopefully join a sorority.
*****
The repacking is underway, and we’ve gone on Target and Costco runs to stock up for spring semester. As we were driving home the other day, Gwen told me that she was excited about going back to school.
That excitement, that sense of anticipation…THAT is what I want for my child.
Those who came before me warned me that saying goodbye to the college freshman for the second semester is even harder than it is the first time. That may be true for me, but I don’t think it will be for her.
And that’s how it should be.
Great info! Rachel is three years away from college, but is already gettting things in the mail. She is stressing about where to go and what major she wants to pursue. I keep telling her she has time, but in my heart, I know it’s not that much time. I’m so glad Gwen is enjoying college life and looking forward to going back.
Thanks, Lisa. I know telling a stress-prone kid not to stress is a losing battle, but Rachel does have time. And I’m sure her school will work with her on determining her interests, etc so she can narrow down her choices.
That “free time” thing is a surprise to all college freshmen, I think. Learning to manage that time is probably the most important and most challenging part of the adjustment to a new life on campus!
Agreed. Fortunately my girl likes her routine and her schedule, so she’s managing well so far!
Ah I love this! I don’t have college aged kids yet but it made me relive MY college days. I miss those. (& I also picked a light comforter that ended up being a mistake. You shouldn’t eat ramen on anything but a dark color.)
Ha – true! I think I had a new comforter every year, just because I got bored with the old one.
I loved hearing her tips and hearing about her adjustments to life away from home. It is always interesting to hear perspectives from others!
Thanks, Echo! I agree – I’ve learned so much just reading blogs. Such a variety of experiences!
I had a lot of free time my freshman year, too. I spent it watching way too much TV 🙂
Ha! She doesn’t have a tv, but I know she watches Netflix on her phone while she works out!
Well done, Mama! Makes me nostalgic as my first child is graduating from high school this year. Sigh…it’s true that moving on is a good thing for all of us. Love the list – I will try to remember and come back to review when we move my girl 🙂
It can be overwhelming to pack everything, and we still ended up forgetting stuff! Thank goodness for Amazon prime. I expect it will be simpler with my son – he won’t care about any “decor” items, and his toiletries are minimal. It’s an exciting time for you and your family, Amy – enjoy it!
i swear i flashed back to my dorm experience as i read her answers. thank you for the trip down memory lane 🙂 totally funny about the white comforter! i agree on getting the minimum dining plan. i remember my mom forcing me to only get 15 meals a week and i was like…i’m going to starve! but she was right. you end up getting noah’s bagels or random food not at the dining commons.
Exactly! So this semester she has a combination for dining hall meals and points to use at any of the eateries, so I think that will work out better.
You did good, Dana. She seems like SUCH a great kid. Cool AND organized. Let her know if she needs additional calming time before heading back that she’s welcome to come clean and fold laundry here. ANYTIME. I’ll even cook her an amazing meal. WAY BIGLY BETTER than dorm food (although we had this dorm-alternative called The Grill and OMG those nachos. I’m not sure I’ve had ones as good since.). I had forgotten how uncomfortable dorm beds were until BlogU. The topper thing was very wise. LOL to “a copious amount of space” because FIVE BOOKS….hahah. 🙂
I know, right? Unfortunately she never volunteers to fold my clothes, but she did cook some meals for me when she was home, so I can’t complain!
Aw, good luck Dana when she goes back. You are a great mom, and I’m so glad you two shared these tips (both for college freshmen and the mothers of college freshmen.) It helps me prepare for my future. I will share with my high school junior… maybe next summer. I still have precious time.
When I first read that you were happy she wasn’t wearing the robe, I didn’t pick up on your sarcasm and thought, “What?!?” Got it the second time. 😉 And then I tried to remember what I wore down the hall of my dorm…
Glad you picked up on my sarcasm! I know I wore a robe, but I lived in quads and apartments and never had to walk down a hall. She has a long walk to the women’s room!
————Great Tips!
Saying GOODBYE NEVER, Eeeeeeeeeeever gets easier, dear! xx
I was afraid you would say that!
Just reading about her making lists and folding clothes calms me :). A wonderful interview, and most importantly it sounds like she is adjusting well, having fun and is happy! What more can a mother ask for? xo
Exactly, Nix! Btw, I’m reading (actually listening) to a novel called The Nix. It makes me think of you (in name only, but still – it makes me smile.)
Could I have used any more parentheses in this comment? (Why yes, I could.)
Okay, I got chocked up at the end. DOY! Great advice. Your daughter sounds like she’s got it together, So much more than I had at that age. And walking down the hall in her towel? All girl dorm I’m hoping? I’m getting to be such a prude in my middle age!
It’s a coed dorm, Allie! I’d be afraid I’d trip and the towel would fly off, but I guess she is confident in her walking ability. I’m a klutz, so I’d be in a robe!
Regarding homesickness, it hit me HARD during my first few days there. I was curled up in a ball, unable to eat. It was awful. It went away, though, and I found that other people got it bad later on. I think it hit everyone at some point. Like a virus! An inevitable virus.
So I went to college in 1998 and that was just before emails/Internet stuff became the rage. I imagine school supplies and books are so different now!
Yep – everything is done online, although books are still expensive. I’m hoping the homesickness is behind us, but it was rough for awhile.
Even though I’m way beyond the college years with my sons, I loved reading this – nice job Gwen AND Mom! My oldest son is 29 and it’s still hard to hold back the tears whenever he heads back to Chicago.
Aww. I loved reading this! Amazing pens. I am so with your gal there! I use mechanical pencils most of the time (I make a lot of mistakes! 😂), but colorful pens are a small pleasure worth spending a little extra on.
You’re lucky to still have her home! I’m missing mine. It’s been 12 days since I sent my girl back to school. Thank goodness for Snapchat and her willingness to let me glimpse into her world each day, even if for just 7 seconds at a time! ❤
I hear you – I love connecting via SnapChat when she’s away.
Aw, what an awesome interview and even though I was a college freshman many moons ago apparently, I still remember how little money you got back when returning books at the end of a semester. I seriously wish they allowed book rentals back then, because the amount of money I spent and didn’t get back in return was ridiculous. That said, I wish you girl a wonderful return for her second semester and thank you for sharing her thoughts here from her first semester with us, too 😉
Thanks Janine!