I have never been enthralled by magic, at least not the kind that is performed on stage. Its appeal is the delight in being surprised, in not knowing how a trick was performed.
I like knowing why, but once you know why, the magic is gone.
I am drawn to the magic of the everyday – mysterious in its power but very real. There is magic in the smile that makes a face extraordinary, and magic in the dance of candle flame. There is magic in laughter, and the smell of a baby’s head.
There is magic in the community created by one writer for a dozen more.
We will write alone, Jena told us. But we will not do it alone.
My new writing muse was quoting Zen priest Karen Maezen Miller, and these words buoyed me. For two weeks, I awoke to an email with a writing prompt. Yet it was so much more than a prompt, and it inspired me to write. I made space in the day, space that is too often filled by dozens of tasks, none of which are writing. I set the timer for ten minutes, and I wrote.
The words came, sometimes in a constant stream, but more often changing course as they ricocheted off one another. They settled neatly in line, and they landed all over the place.
The first day, after I posted my response to the prompt on our private Facebook group, I hesitantly read what others had written.
I have no business being here. These women are WRITERS; their words are poetry and emotion and power.
I kept writing, bolstered by Jena’s encouragement and her reiteration that we write without editing. Appreciate yourself for showing up, she said. I tried. The other women left lovely comments on my posts, and I stayed fairly silent. I didn’t know what to say after reading most of their pieces, and saying Wow! seemed juvenile and inadequate.
When I woke up this Monday, there was no inspiring email from Jena. Today, as I write this, I check our haven on Facebook, and it too is gone. I knew it would be, but the grief I feel surprises me.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised; those two weeks were magical in a way I would have never imagined a few years ago. Or a month ago. I don’t think I became a better writer because of this group; that takes practice. I did, however, learn a few important things:
1. Writing is like any other habit; I have to do it regularly to get used to it, and to get better. I knew this already; it’s common advice. This was the first time that I actually heeded it and discovered it was true.
2. I have a writing style that is unique to me, which became very apparent when I compared myself to the other participants. These comparisons were expressly forbidden, but I made them anyway. My style may or may not make me a better or worse writer than anyone else, but it is mine and I own it.
3. I am not particularly poetic or soulful. I am literal and real, and I am most comfortable with my words when I am using them to tell a story. When I attempt to use literary devices, they often feel stiff. Perhaps with practice they will come more naturally.
4. I can free write without editing, because I don’t have to show my writing to anyone. It is my choice whether to share, and writing without the pressure to publish is freeing.
I think that is the magic of this writing group. It is in between the unedited words, in the space where my brain has not yet interfered or judged. I need to step back and let that magic happen.
Check out Jena’s writing groups on her website, jenaschwartz.com. She is truly one of the loveliest people I have met in a long time. Equally lovely is Nicki, who recommended Jena’s course. I wouldn’t sign up for something based on just anyone’s recommendation, but I love Nicki’s writing, and I trust her. I’m so glad I did.
I think your writing is absolutely terrific, Dana, and I totally get it with the unique part. Keep doing what you are doing because it’s awesome 🙂
Thank you so much, Mike.
I must disagree with one of your statements. I often find your writing both poetic and soulful. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Clearly you learned a lot from that group, and I’m glad to read about your experience with it!
Thank you, Leslie. I did learn quite a bit, and I hope to be a part of another group in the coming months.
For me, writing is definitely easier if I get into the habit and it is unfortunately too easy to fall out of the habit. I am just now getting back into the swing of things from our Christmas break.
You are so right – you have to keep the habit up!
It’s always so great to learn and be motivated! I’m glad you got the chance! And, you write beautifully!
Thanks, Roshni. I hope I can keep the magic and motivate myself to keep writing.
Those feelings you expressed are exactly how I feel blogging! You lovely bloggers are true writers. I am really just someone who enjoys to share thoughts and moments with others.
That makes you a writer too, Shae. There are all different kinds, and I enjoy reading about your experiences!
I thought of taking a creative writing course to sharpen my writing skills. I’m still discovering my voice and it’s an amazing journey. I like how you learned that your voice is unique and you embrace that. I’m going to check out Jena’s website! Thanks for the recommendation 🙂
You’re welcome, Gracielle!
Dana, I’m starting Jena’s writing class next week. I was already excited, but your post increased my enthusiasm, which I didn’t even think was possible! Looking forward to this experience. Thanks for sharing your magic!
Yay – I’m excited for you, Mimi! I’ve already slacked off on the daily writing – this week I’m getting back on track! I hope the experience is magical for you too.
I like that self discovery. You are literal and real. I am terrible at fiction and really most things that aren’t creative non-fiction and it took me a while to realize that.
I’ve been practicing writing so much lately! 2014 was more about photography and I felt like I missed out.
But you post three times a week without fail – that’s practicing! I’m terrible at fiction too. Actually, that’s not true. I’ve never even tried it! I have absolutely no fiction ideas in my head.
You are so right. Writing without editing and the pressure is a refreshing feeling. I’m happy just writing using my own style and I used to compare a lot. But really, the more we write, the more we learn. And I just read from your comment above about flow. Once a brand contacted me and said that they’ll only pay me X dollars for a post because I don’t have a flow. Well.. I didn’t go with it.
Good for you! What kind of flow are you supposed to have anyway? That just seems silly.
I have such a hard time with comparisons. Really. Especially now since I’m in a funk and scrambling to find some sort of flow to my posts.
The writing world feels extremely intimidating at times especially when I’m writing about very personal topics.
Magic? Yes please.
If I could give it to you, I would. It is intimidating to put your personal stuff out there, and I don’t even do it often, or have lots to share anyway. And flow? Overrated. I have no flow, and I like to think of it as part of my charm. 😉
I think some of the magic is in the amazing people we connect with, who read our blogs.
I LOVE Nicki (did you guys find each other through me? not asking for ego but seems that you connected after she and I reconnected although maybe you knew here before…anyway, I don’t know Jenna but your writing group sounds amazing!!!!). I did notice you were posting more (or maybe I’m just posting less) and I love it! Also, I think comparing ourselves to other writers is really hard to not do but also necessary. And? Maybe this is weird but I compare myself to myself and constantly tell myself how much I suck and wonder about the whole thing. Maybe I need to do the course. Anyway, so glad that you loved it, that I’m your friend, and that we met through blogging and will DO LUNCH SOON (REALLY). xxoo
I think I did find Nicki through you, Kristi – maybe she participated in FTSF? If I did, thank you! I’m not posting more, but I do feel like some of my posts are starting to feel a little different. I think you would enjoy the course, and you would write some amazing things that you could choose to share or not.
I messaged you about lunch!
Kristi, really looking forward to writing with you in March!
Beautiful post!!! I always talk about magic, it has to exist otherwise life is just..life? 😉 Magic in the way you depicted of course, not a hat and a bunny style haha
I only started this blog a week ago but agreed, the magic of the writing….I have found in my very few posts I start with an idea and it magically turns into something else. I also hope the blog itself magically grows on its own xo
If only it would grow magically on its own…I’d be much less stressed!
Can I just copy and paste everything Bev said? I had to wait before I commented because I wanted it to be just right – then by the time I got back here you’ve got tons of beautiful comments each one with wisps of what I was thinking. I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said so I’ll say this – you are one of my favorite writers, you are so relatable and I’m so fortunate we got to meet. I feel like I’m visiting a friend when I visit here and I love it.
I wish I could hug you right now, Stephanie! I’m so happy you feel that way; I am so glad we got to meet too. I feel like I connected with you immediately – both through your words and in person. That you feel like you are visiting a friend here – THAT is what I want, and what I strive for. So thank you for making me feel like I’m doing it right!
I would love to try out a writing group like this. The idea of forcing myself to sit down and just write—without overthinking it so much—for even just a few minutes a day would be very powerful, I think. And I can imagine the prompts would take me to places and topics I never would have considered on my own. Sounds like you had a great experience!
I really did, Katie. The prompts were so thoughtful, and my free writing led me to so many possibilities for future topics. Jena offers all the prompts as a self-guided experience too, if you want to consider that option.
Good for YOU for taking on this amazing challenge Dana! It looks like you learned so much and girl, YOU ARE SUCH A UNIQUE VOICE in this blogosphere!!! Ah, comparing is just sooooo easy to do, isn’t it? I love the way you write… always have, always will. XOXO
Thank you, Chris. You are pretty unique – and amazing – yourself.
I am a horrible self-editor. I can’t even get through one sentence of a draft without rewriting it a few times. But partly it’s because I write quickly, to just get it all out. I find once I do that, it’s easier to write what I really want to say. Sometimes it’s the first sentence I used; sometimes the third. But I do have to watch myself to keep from over-editing and losing voice.
And I think literary devices might (or might never) come in time. Once they stop being “literary devices” in your head and the words just come to mind because that’s how you see something.
I hope you’re right, Jessica – I didn’t think about that. I suppose if I have to think about it for too long, I should probably just move on and keep writing.
How timely to read this after the one I wrote last night. Thank you for your encouraging words. Your words are my thoughts exactly. I don’t know if you ever linked up with All things Fadra – Stream of Consciousness Sunday. It’s back. I just found out this past week. I’ve participated in others but that was the first one I ever linked up with so it’s like home and I was disappointed when she passed the torch. Thanks for the Jena and Nicki intro.
I thought the same thing when I read your post last night – we are on the same wavelength! I was in Listen to Your Mother with Fadra – I will check out her Sunday link up. Thanks Kenya!
You’ve hit on so much of what I love and feel about Jena’s groups! Isn’t it fascinating to see what a dozen different women do with the same prompt? I love that each of us has our own style–otherwise, reading & writing would all become terribly boring and predicable, no? I’m so glad you were in the group, and I loved reading your words throughout. And this: the magic “in the space where my brain has not yet interfered or judged” — YES. That’s my biggest and most treasured takeaway from writing with our dear Jena–that our uncensored, honest selves have a lot to say, if we let them. xo
Ugh—*predictable! I should learn not to comment from my phone!! And the nagging perfectionist/grammar nerd in me just couldn’t leave it hanging. Sorry for the multiple comments !
I totally get it! I will admit to sometimes correcting typos for commenters when I reply 😉
That was the biggest takeaway for me too, Dina. I too often write with a mind to publish in this space. That constrains me, and I was amazed at how good it felt to let that go.
There is magic in community and it is powerful!
So true, Ashley.
Your words here remind me of me. The course sounds like it was a fabulous experience!
So I’m not as unique as I thought I was? 😉 I do love that about blogging – reading someone else’s words and feeling the same way. It’s reassuring sometimes, isn’t it?
Dana… your post dropped into my email this morning and that always makes me happy, to see a new post from you. I saved it to read when my brain was quiet and I could appreciate every word distraction-free. I was drawn by the title of Magic, by the beautiful magical image, and by your then un-read words that are always wonderful and fulfilling to me. (I didn’t get a pingback on my blog so I didn’t know you had tagged me in it until just this minute. But I digress). I sat down to read this, and at every sentence I felt like you were writing MY heart as well as your own. And then I got to the end. And now I’m crying. Good, grateful, happy tears. This especially: “I trust her.” Authentic connection… powerful thing. <3
I’m crying a little now too, Nicki. I told Jena about the post, but I wanted you to stumble on it without knowing you were mentioned, so YAY!
I meant what I said. I’ve been drawn to your words since I started reading your blog, and I often feel like I aspire to write like you. No, not write like you, because you are you and I am me…but to have my words fill the reader up like yours do for me. So when you recommended Jena’s group and I knew you’d be there with me, the leap of faith wasn’t so scary. Thank you, thank you.
I get that we shouldn’t compare our writing to that of others if the comparing is done to judge which is better and which is worse. But I do think that comparing ourselves to others as a way to appreciate our uniqueness, the ways in which our voice is true to ourselves, is helpful and comforting. You, my friend, have a very distinct voice in your writing which is clear, consistent and quite obviously “you”.
Thank you, Mo. I agree with you – comparing in the way you say is helpful and comforting. I didn’t think about it that way. And I do think the more that I read good writing, the better I get at it myself.
Sounds like a great course! I have had to learn to be true to my own voice. I use to try to be funny thinking that would make me more popular, but it was obviously forced and I quickly learned that I am inherently unfunny! 🙂 That said, I rarely do stream of consciousness type writing. I like for it to be much more planned and I ruminate over it for days sometimes. In fact, that’s why I send these prompts out so early (and, of course, I know them even before I send them). I think about the words and let them settle in for a long time before I actually write anything.
I tend to do that too, Lisa. That’s why this course was so good for me – stream of consciousness for 10 minutes. Then I can play with the material as much as I want before anyone else sees it.
I feel like a non writer pretty much every time I read other blogs and especially when I read other people’s comments on some of those blogs. I write like I talk and it isn’t fancy at all – just whatever thoughts pop into my head:)
But that’s your style and it’s who you are, Kim. And that’s why you have so many loyal followers, me included. A visit to your blog is like a chat with you, and I love that!
So glad to have “met” you through this course. Your whole post resonated in my bones, but I especially agree with #1 and #4. In fact, after re-reading your post, I have decided that I am going to force myself to JUST WRITE dammit for a little while this afternoon. No editing, no second-guessing, no comparisons. Well, that’s my plan, at least.
Christine: “No editing, no second-guessing, no comparisons.” Hell, yes. Message me a post-freewrite report 🙂
I’m so glad to have met you too, Christie! I planned to write today too, but life has gotten in the way. But my candle is burning and I will do it for ten minutes – you can do anything for ten minutes, right?
One of the first things I learned about writing was the importance of your unique voice. And Dana, your unique voice, authenticity and humor will always keep me coming back to your space!! Keep writing who you are and what you are and we will enjoy every word 🙂
Thank you so much Allie! You are one of the most authentic writers I know, so to have you say the same about me means a lot. Even if you are rooting for the Patriots…;)
I signed up for a journaling class this month, so I’ve also been going through the exercise of writing every morning – just for myself – and being free to go all over the place. I wish I had more time to dedicate to writing, but I’m trying to do it more often, knowing it will make me stronger. I love your voice! Embrace it. But I totally get the comparing habit. There are so many wonderful voices out there – I am always in awe!
There are so many great voices out there, and it’s easy to feel so small in comparison. But you’re right – I need to embrace my own voice and just go with it.
I’m excited to read this! One thing I need to work on is free writing. I have the bad habit of editing as I go, which probably squashes ideas and strangles my voice. I might have to try this course. Thanks for sharing.
Yes, you do have a unique, funny, and practical writing voice that draws me to your writing. Keep it up!
Thanks, Julia – I will! I’m an as-I-go editor too. I try to write with pen and paper sometimes, since I can’t erase and start over. But mostly I’m trying to just keeping typing, just starting a new line if I don’t like what I have so far.
It’s hard for me to consider myself a writer when I compare myself to other people and their writing. Some are just poetic with their words. Some are funny. Some can write in a wittier way than I. Some can craft stories and poems, capturing emotion perfectly.
I try not to compare myself to others’ writing or their writing style. I try to just stick to what works for me, what is most comfortable to me. Mostly that works, but as a blogger, it’s hard. There’s always this pressure to succeed, to keep up, to compare, and (yes) sometimes even to judge.
I’ve always been a journal-er. I’ve also always basically written the same. I write about my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. And, slowly I’m beginning to understand that this is my writing style and it’s not as bad as I think. Though I may never get the accolades others might with their writing, (thankfully) that’s not really my goal. Do I want to be noticed, maybe a little. But mostly, I want to stay sane and journal. So my blog is my journal and that’s that. 🙂
Oh, and I love a stream of consciousness oh so much! I actually think that’s mostly my writing style, it’s comforting and comfortable. 🙂
I like stream of consciousness too, and if it fits you, stick with it! Thanks for sharing your thoughts about writing; I can relate to your struggles.
I struggle with the comparisons, as well. I’m not soulful or lyrical either, but I so want to be (because I love reading writers who are). When I try to write that way it is gawd-awful:)! I love YOUR realness Dana!
I feel exactly the same way, Allie- about everything you said. I love reading soulful writers but I feel like I fall short. Then again, I wouldn’t want to ONLY read those types of writers.
This post came into my inbox when I should have been practicing my own writing, but was procrastinating instead. I call that “magic.” Your loving reminder to get back to my own craft because the work matters made a difference. Thank you.
I’m so happy to hear that, Debby – thank you. Now I just have to work on reminding myself!
“The words came, sometimes in a constant stream, but more often changing course as they ricocheted off one another. They settled neatly in line, and they landed all over the place.” When I read these lines I thought about how beautiful and poetic that was and I wish I could come up with something like that. And then I read down to what you learned and saw #3 and could totally identify (though, I do think you write some very poetic and soulful posts). Things like analogies and metaphors don’t come easily to me, and I may try, but it feels forced and doesn’t sound write. But like you said, we each have our own style that is unique to us. Obviously people don’t come to my blog to read poetry, they read because they can connect to what I have to say. And that’s why I come here. I enjoy seeing your love lists, your thoughts on parenting and your family. It’s beautiful and poetic in a way that maybe you don’t consider poetry, but it’s *you*!
Thank you, Bev – it’s nice to get this feedback (especially because it’s good!). I agree with you – I primarily come back to my favorite bloggers because I connect with them, and a large part of that is their voice.
You’re absolutely right — trying to compare your writing (or any creative endeavor) to someone else’s just doesn’t make any sense. But I have to say, Dana, you have really been knocking it out of the park lately! WOW.
Aw, Sarah – you’re making me blush! Thank you. Really.
What a great experience! You do have a unique voice when writing – that’s what keeps me coming back to you- I love how you write. I love your storytelling, your literalness, your humour. You are a fantastic writer. I will say, “wow.” Loved learning what you learned — all things I need to learn too:)
Thank you for such kind words, Leah!
I admit sometimes I don’t always have right words and feel like maybe I won’t know what to say next, but then all of a sudden I get an idea and can’t hold myself back. This to me is part of the fun and magic, too in writing, because I might not always know where my writing will will indeed take me, but always willing to find out 😉
You’re right, Janine – sometimes I end up in a completely different place than I started, or than I intended. That is part of the magic!