I sat in my chair at the pool, watching a little boy about four years old standing under the shower attached to the side of the pool house. He was singing out loud, clearly oblivious to the fact that anyone could hear him. He stopped, then a few minutes later I heard him talking animatedly to himself – once again completely engrossed in the solo conversation.
I smiled to myself, amused by his banter. I remember being wakened by the chatter of a toddler playing in her bed, and being entertained by the voices of my own little boy creating the dialogue for his latest pretend play game. It seems humans have an innate need to hear themselves talk, and it is only as we get older and assume the mantle of self consciousness that we begin to have those conversations with ourselves in our heads.
I have lots of conversations in my head, and I hear no other voices but my own. But I will confess: I talk to myself on a regular basis. Sure, I talk to my dog a lot too, but that really is just a cover. The only words she understands is “treat” and “walk,” so our chats are pretty limited.
I like talking to myself. Dana and I have all sorts of interesting conversations:
I give myself pep talks. (You do NOT need that cookie, Dana!).
I praise myself. (Yay, Dana! You checked off everything on your list today.) Sometimes I literally pat myself on the back.
I chastise myself. (Jeez, Dana – can’t you shave your legs without drawing blood?)
I sing to myself – usually in the car or shower, but it can happen wherever the spirit moves me.
I laugh at myself – usually when I do something stupid (Dana, you are an idiot). But sometimes I laugh when I tweet something I think is funny. Of course it’s crickets out in Twitter land (Guess you’re not so funny, Dana).
And yes, I always refer to myself as Dana in my self-conversations. I think it’s nice to refer to a person by name when you are speaking to them, and I want to make sure I’m paying attention.
I talk to the people in the television. (No! Don’t go in the kitchen – the bad guy is hiding there!)
I talk to my laptop. (I want to punch you in the screen and throw you out the window right now!)
I talk to the refrigerator. (What should I make for dinner tonight?)
I’ve discovered that the inanimate objects don’t answer me when I talk to them. Dana, on the other hand, always has a response. She’s a great conversationalist, and a great listener too. And just around the time when I get tired of talking to her, my kids get home from school and I don’t have to carry both sides of the dialogue anymore.
So I’m not that different from the little boy at the pool. Except that unlike the four year old, all of this talking takes place when I am alone in my home. Because I am a mature, mentally sound adult, I do not engage in self-conversation when other people are listening. Usually.
I love this Dana, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who does that! Speaking of the cute toddler self-talk, mine has started to read books to herself when she is alone. She will be two next month. I love listening to her talk when she doesn’t know I can hear her! 🙂
You have to record that, Stephanie! I never did and I wish I had. Their voices change so much as they grow, and that two year old chatter is precious!
all the time! and sadly, it’s often when others ARE home. eddie has finally learned to ask if i’m actually talking to him or “is this one of those things where you aren’t wanting a response”. and since i can almost always predict his response, i’m most likely talking to myself. (I also yell at myself on the tennis court — in the third person. i really need to break this habit, b/c i think i look deranged.)
No wonder we are friends – we have the same odd habits. And deranged is underrated – I say just go with it. I enjoy chatting with you; why shouldn’t you?
Yup – totally guilty. I am always being caught talking to myself and I am past the point of caring. I will surely be the old lady shuffling through the home chatting away with herself.
At least you won’t be lonely 🙂
I can only imagine the side eyes you’d get if you were talking to yourself at the pool. Would love a post about you doing so and the reactions 🙂
No thanks – I limit myself to non public places!
Isaiah catches me talking to myself all of the time. He still doesn’t get it, which is completely amusing because he talks to himself non-stop. Even while he’s watching TV.
I’m glad Dana is such a good listener. She a good blogger too, you make sure to tell her that!
I will tell her, thank you 🙂 It must be pretty noisy in your house with all that talking!
My favorite moment of the day is listening to Boo babble over the baby monitor when she wakes up in the morning. And Allie playing in her room where she doesn’t realize that there is still a monitor in her room too!
And if I ever do the Twitter plunge I will of course follow you and laugh with you not at you
Please do get on Twitter – I miss you there! And you can laugh at me; I’ll never know.
True confession: I sometimes I catch myself in conversation with Mo at the grocery store and I try to cover it up by clearing my throat or humming…neither of which make me look any less crazy.
Ha – I’m learning all sorts of tricks to may my self talking look less nutty!
Um, I’ve been talking to myself since I could talk 😉
I knew I liked you, Alison!
That is SO funny! You should totally do it while others are around. Or at least someone should get video of you when you’re unaware. I love this!
If it’s documented that will just give my kids ammunition for sending me to the looney bin!
It cracks me up that you refer to yourself in the 3rd person. I have conversations when I’m in the car as if I’m talking to other drivers in other cars. Like, “Buddy, why don’t you turn your blinker on!” “Is this your first time driving in the city?” “Oh the cops are going to get you!”
I do that too, Catherine. And I guess referring to myself in the third person makes it a little less strange when I answer myself. Just a little.
I don’t normally talk to myself, but that’s only because I use my 5-year-old and 2-year-old as substitutes. We’ll be at Wal-Mart, and I’ll say to my 2-year-old, “Now, how did Mommy forget to grab rice when she was in that aisle? She knew she needed it, yet she didn’t grab it. What was Mommy thinking? Now she has to go back…” As if I (along with everyone else around me) don’t realize that I’m totally talking to myself but using my kids as a buffer to make me look normal. 🙂
That is genius, Shay! My kids are too old for that – they have this annoying habit of talking back to me. Now I have no buffers to make me look normal. Oh well.
I talk to myself all the time, and sometimes I get annoyed when my kids interrupt me!
The nerve of them! Can’t they see you’re trying to have an important conversation?
yup, I do that too 🙂
actually very relieving when no one wanna listens to me!!
You make an excellent point – being listened to can be overrated!
I do talk to myself. Tamara is a great listener. Sometimes Scarlet and Des just whine back at everything I said. The said thing is, I also have conversations in my head where I pretend what they’re saying too. Like I’ll say, “Hi Des.” and then out loud say, “Hi, Mama. I love you so much” in what I imagine is his voice. Fun times.
That is too funny. I do that, but I substitute respectful and loving responses in my kids’ voices (in my head), which are much nicer than what I sometimes get in reality.
This summer I haven’t had much opportunity to talk to myself but on Tuesday when the boys go back to school I’m sure I will once again be having conversations between me and myself. Some days that is the only noise in the house during the day because I rarely turn on the TV or even music!
Same here – maybe that’s why I talk to myself – because it’s so quiet. Back to school already? Ugh.
I am guilty of EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of these…EVERY ONE! LOL! Especially the talking to the TV and/or computer! Stopping in from SITS!
Well, you must be a brilliant conversationalist like me 🙂 Thanks for visiting, Britton!
I talk to my self when I’m alone at home (which is daily) and I laugh and shout at things and generally act the fool. i wonder if that’s why the neighbor has been giving me those nervous looks
Haha – you’re my kind of gal, Shanique! It’s a sad state of affairs if we can’t enjoy our own company, right?
Ha! I talk to myself from time to time. My middle child who is 8 talks to herself constantly and, like the child you mentioned, makes no efforts to “hide” her conversations. She does it in bed, in the shower, while on the toilet. I frequently say to her, “Um, who are you talking to?” She usually replies cheerily, “Myself!” At least I don’t have to worry about her going off to college someday and being lonely – she’ll always have herself to keep her company! 🙂
That’s so cute! I really do think that it’s a healthy habit to have, and your daughter is talking in private places so there’s no social taboo. The real question – do you listen in?
Oh man, I am a total self-talker. I also find that I tend to do a lot of posing while I’m talking to myself. I think there might be something wrong with me. 🙂
Posing? That’s a new one for me. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you – it’s just that model on the inside trying to get out!
Such a funny spin on this! I used to talk to myself a whole lot more, before I had my son. I hadn’t thought about this too much, but I think I’m nervous about him picking up this trait. My husband talks to himself constantly, and I’ve always thought it was really cute.
Well if your husband does it, your son may pick it up anyway – so start talking!
I love this SO MUCH!! I do exactly the same thing. Until people started using bluetooth technology, I think most people seeing me in a car thought I was insane. I don’t have a bluetooth gadget,but people now assume I do. I talk to myself in the car ALL THE TIME! –Lisa
So the bluetooth is a good cover for you, Lisa. I sing in the car too, and I just figure I’m giving passerbys their chuckle for the day. Glad you can relate!
I used to be just like that little boy. I talked to myself, told myself stories, had imaginary friends. Now I talk to myself silently. However I do talk to my animals all day long! They are very patient with me!
Dogs are great to talk to, aren’t they? Such good listeners, and they never judge or tell me to be quiet.
As an introvert, I have a constant internal monologue (dialogue?) – glad I’m not the only one! Sometimes I even worry, did I say that out loud? Or I will make the facial expressions that go along with what I am saying in my head, and worry that I look like a weirdo….
Ha! I make the facial expressions too, Sarah. And I’m an extrovert, so I guess it makes sense that my dialogue is external when I’m alone. I keep myself company 🙂
*raises hand* I talk to myself all the time! It’s the only way I stay sane! 🙂
I also think sometimes it’s a way for our “inner voice” to be heard!
I agree, Tracie. So nice to know I’m not the only one!
I loved this post! I found myself apologizing to the sitter because I was walking around the house talking to myself about what I needed to do and what I forgot. 🙂
Ha – I’m sure she was entertained. As long as you don’t scare her away, keep on talking!
I have those, too! I once had a whole break-up conversation with myself (anticipating one coming from boyfriend at the time) in the mirror, with tears and everything. He didn’t break up with me.
I have them in the car, the worst. I’ve made myself laugh and cry and regularly call myself an asshole or brilliant.
Love it!!!
Oh, I forgot the car! Since I started blogging, I also record myself talking about post ideas that hit me when I’m driving. Much safer than texting them to myself!
I love the comparison between the four-year-old boy and grown up Dana, another proof that we don’t really change as much as we think, we just learn to camouflage better. I wasn’t as aware as you are of the conversations I make with me, although a lot of this sounded really familiar, so I know I am doing this too. It’s interesting to notice how many different kinds of conversations and interactions we have with ourselves throughout the day! I’ll be paying closer attention now.
I didn’t think about it too much until I saw the little boy, and then I realized how much I do talk to myself. I honestly don’t think it’s a bad habit – I enjoy the conversations I have with myself 🙂
I have a constant internal dialogue running.
But I do have ‘out loud’ conversations (okay, rants) with other car drivers, who CLEARLY cannot hear a word I’m saying…
Me too! My kids asked me yesterday why I said thank you when I raised my hand to wave at another driver who let me in the lane in front of them…”they can’t hear you,” they said. I just can’t help it. I regularly call other drivers lots of other things too.
I tell them how they should be driving. Or to hurry up/get outta my way/whatever. Gives the passenger a giggle at any rate.
love this Dana..too funny. I talk to myself all the time too… and you are right…the conversations with ourselves are better than the fridge or TV. Though the motorists who drive beside me when I am yelling, laughing, or crying at an audio book think I’m not so interesting.
Oh, I bet they get a kick out of it. I love turning and seeing a driver singing to themselves; it’s refreshing to see someone be so carefree!
Guilty as charged and seriously sometimes I the only one that will listen to me. I mean the kids don’t listen and neither does my husband, so when all else fails talk to yourself. It works like a charm!! But seriously thank you for linking up and am really enjoying and finding such common ground with all the posts so far tonight!!!
Maybe that’s why I do it – because I’m the only one who listens to me. I think you’re on to something Janine!
I’ll have entire conversations and arguments with myself in the mirror NO LESS. Gah. I’m reading all these bad habits posts and coming up with so.many.more. 🙂
Yeah, I’ve talked in the mirror too, but I’d prefer to not make eye contact with myself – it can be awkward.