…why I cannot put lip gloss on without looking in the mirror, or apply mascara without opening my mouth.
…why kids’ heads smell when they come in from playing outside, even when they are too young for any other body part to smell.
…what my dog was thinking.
…when to keep my mouth shut.
…why the lady at the gym climbs on the elliptical right next to mine, when every other one in the row is wide open.
…how I always manage to stand in the slowest line.
…how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop.
…why Arkansas isn’t pronounced “Ar-kansas.” Just like it’s spelled.
…how to whistle.
…why I can have a dream that lasts only nine minutes (the time between the first and second snooze), but the time in the dream was an entire day.
…where that damn earring is.
…why my son can remember the name, position, and jersey number of half of the NFL, but can’t remember to flush the toilet or turn off a light when he leaves the room.
…what happened to the polar bear on Lost.
What do you wish you knew?
Great post, Dana! I also could never understand the mouth open to put on mascara! I imagine that it would be hysterical to know what my animals are thinking! The looks on their faces are funny enough! It is so funny the things that kids can memorize, while the practical stuff goes right by! Have a great week!
It’s also odd how my kids won’t hear a thing I say until I mention their name to someone else (when they are out of ear shot). Then miraculously, they hear me and demand to know what I’m saying about them.
I loved this list. Could relate to so many: The earring, the son’s sports knowledge vs. toilet and lights manners; keeping mouth shut, just to name a few. This post was inspiring for me. Thank you!
So glad you enjoyed it, Mimi!
“when to keep my mouth shut”—- SAME! And that includes my thumbs (in a text!)
Ah – very true. The benefit of texting is it gives my brain a few extra seconds to decide against sending!
I do the same thing with lipstick and mascara! Ah, will we ever know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop…?
It seems like the open mouth thing is pretty common – so strange.
I wish I knew how to speak French. Or some other language. I’m in awe of people who are multi-lingual. As far as lipstick goes, I do the oddest thing. I wait until I’m in the car going somewhere (husband driving) and I apply my lipstick in the moving car without the mirror. Then I check to see how I’ve done. I wonder why I do this!!
I do that too, because I usually forget to put it on in the house. That’s why I keep a lip balm in my car so I can apply mirror-free without looking like a clown!
I too wish I knew where the other earring is, and how to whistle! And what else? I wish I knew the real story of what happened with Brad and Jen – even ten years later!
Ah, one of life’s mysteries. You never know what goes on behind closed doors…
I too open my mouth when I put on mascara…and eyeliner for that matter. I never know why! And it does always feel like I’m standing in the slowest line.
I wonder if the open mouth helps us keep our face still? Who knows.
Can you tell me where the “hand wreath” the Sparks made 15 years ago went? Lynda, my co leader, and I were so organised. We had the girls dip their hands in paint and once the image dried, cut them out. We glued them together on a lovely wreath and then …. it went missing. Never, ever found it. Perhaps it’s hiding out with Anna’s shoe and your earring. Excellent.
I can whistle. I’d be happy to try and teach you the ear splitting through the fingers whistle that I am so proud of. Nancy Cunningham taught me in the summer of grade 8.
And I wish I knew how your pup and mine are related. Yours has a wider head but other than that they could be twins.
And finally, I wish I knew why the damn wasp nest didn’t get blown to smithereens last night. It’s the second one we’ve had this summer. I blasted it and yet this morning it looks perfect. Wasps are darting in and out as per usual. We’ve got friends coming over for dinner tonight. How delightful if we get swarmed and are forced to move inside …
I’m so jealous of your whistling ability, Kelly – very cool. I wish I knew how are pups were related either. I’d love to know Nellie’s mix, but I’m not paying for some lab to analyze her DNA.
Wasp nests suck – we had one in the basketball hoop right under the net. Makes shooting hoops a bit dangerous.
Sometimes I wish I knew when to keep my mouth shut too…but not always. I definitely wish I knew how to manage my time better…or at least how it is that the to-do list seems to get longer and longer even though days are filled to the brim with checking items off that stupid list. Fun post!
You’re right Leslie – sometimes we shouldn’t keep our mouths shut. But mine works on overdrive sometimes.
I wish I knew how to whistle too!
My mother-in-law can do it with her pinkie fingers – she used to call her boys in for dinner with it. I’d love to be able to do that!
I wish I knew why clean floors attract dirt faster than dirty floors. I wish I knew where my other shoe is (probably next to your earring!) I wish that knew where the summer is flying away to so quickly…
Fun(ny) post!!
The floor one reminds me of shirts – why a white shirt attracts tomato sauce when a dark shirt doesn’t. Or maybe I’m just a messy eater.
Hi Dana, I ALWAYS pick the slowest line. Seriously, always. I can’t whistle either unless I breathe in if that makes any sense. I wish I knew how untrained birds figure out where to fly every winter and how they know how to form the perfect letter V.
Hmmm – that’s a good one. Instinct, I guess. So maybe you and I have the natural instinct to pick the slowest line? Lucky us.
I wish I knew how to work the damn touchpad on this MacBook! Okay, I think I figured it out, at least for now. Love this post and learning more about you through the things you wish you knew. So true about kids’ heads…!
Isn’t it? Although now that I have teenagers, much more than the head smells when they come inside!
You could rule the world with the answers form this list!
If only, Mardra!
I definitely wonder about the polar bear. And also – why dream time is so weird. I can go through an entire week and maybe an hour passed in real life? Maybe?
I know! I find that fascinating.
I wish I knew why my children grew up so fast and why I can’t hit the rewind button for just a day or so.
: )
I forgot one more: Why do we need Telemarketers? The robotic ones drive me crazy as do the ones who are not calling from America! Trying to sell me what? I just hang up.
Yes to the rewind button! And yesterday five telemarketers called in 30 minutes. Ridiculous! I hang up too.
LOL Dana! Awesome list! My husband can’t whistle either, by the way. Tucker is already worried about whether he’ll be able to or not. Also, that earring, that bathing suit, that t-shirt… three things I think about weekly. For years.
I still wonder what happened to my keychain from 15 years ago. I loved that thing. I think I must have tossed it in the garbage.
…why my son can remember the name, position, and jersey number of half of the NFL, but can’t remember to flush the toilet or turn off a light when he leaves the room.***
SUPERB!!!
Funny but true, Kim.
Love it! I wanted to link up with this one, but was out of town this week and had no time! I wish I knew how to lose about 50 pounds in 10 days or less; what my dog is trying to say when she does her howling-growling thing; and why the messes that drive me nuts don’t seem to bother my kids at all.:-)
My dog does the same growly thing! I’m with you on the messes too. One day it will bother them, when we aren’t there to clean it up for them.
I wish I knew how to talk to Angels. I wish I knew how to play basketball. I wish I knew why my children can only hear me sometimes.
I think your children hear you most of the time…they are listening even when we think they aren’t. And I wish you could talk to angels, too. xoxo
Nothing makes a line screech to a halt like me standing in it. Every damn time. I love this list…and I too have always been confused about Arkansas…
I still have to think about it before I say it, Jill. It’s like my brain refuses to acknowledge the correct pronunciation.
I totally agree on many of your why’s Dana.
oh why oh why!! 🙂
xoxo
Life is full of whys, isn’t it?
Lol to the last one and I didn’t even watch that show. I wish I could whistle well. My husband can whistle stuff that can be identified whereas mine sounds like someone trying to hit the high note who can’t. I wish I knew how to dance – like really dance all show offy doing the Nae Nae.
I whistle like you do – I can hear the tune in my head, but no one else can!
I now have the old Tootsie Pop commercial with the owl in my head after reading as you totally brought me back on that one, Dana 😉
Do you know the owl has his own Twitter account? I found it while I was looking for an image to use.