Have you ever played the game Two Truths and One Lie? You say three statements; two are true and one is false. The object of the game is to stump the other players as they try to guess which statement is the lie.
So let’s play! I have three little stories to tell you; see if you can guess which one is not true. Coincidentally they all have to do with bodily functions, because that’s how I roll.
Truth or Lie?
The four of us are biking in California this summer, and I am bringing up the rear. We are in a ritzy looking residential neighborhood, and I see an old guy walking up ahead. He’s at the top of a hill, and Matt and the kids bike past him. As I trudge up the hill cursing the idiot whose idea it was to bike, the guy lets out a humongous fart. Loud and juicy. I am still about twenty feet behind him, and I have to stifle my laughter until I pass. I know he didn’t realize I was behind him, so I avoid eye contact and hold my breath as I pedal by. I barely hold in my laughter until I am far enough away for him not to hear.
Truth or Lie?
My almost three-year-old is newly potty trained, and we are spending the day with friends who have their own pool. James climbs out of the pool and whispers to me that he has to go potty. I direct him to the far corner of the fenced yard, telling him to stand behind a tree and pee. He trots off happily to do his business, and I glance over a minute later to see him copping a squat in front of a tree, pooping on the grass. We did not yet have a dog, so my first experience with scooping poop involves cleaning up after my child. A human being.
Truth or Lie?
I am pregnant with my daughter in the winter of 1998 and driving to work as it flurries outside. My car sputters, and I pull over to the side of the four lane highway. Pretty sure that the battery is dead, I call my husband on my gigantic cell phone that is running low on juice. Leaving him to call AAA, I wait in the car while the other autos zoom past. I’m freezing and I have to pee, but there is no way I am getting out in the snow in my heels and trekking down an exit ramp to find a restroom. I wait and wait as my bladder protests, and I finally give up and let it go. I am now stranded on the side of the highway, pregnant, cold, and sitting in my own urine.
So which story is a lie? Click here to find out the answer, but come back and tell me if you were right!
I was totally right! I LOVED this post and found it so entertaining, especially the one about your son pooping in the yard. LOL We were swimming earlier this summer and I told my daughter (4YO) to pee in the yard…then the other week, see pulled down her pants to pee in OUR yard. We don’t have a swimming pool.
I might actually play along and do a “2 truths and 1 lie” blog post 🙂
You should – it was really fun! I’d love to do more interactive posts – maybe I’ll do video charades 🙂
Yay! I was right. The stories were hilarious. I think I picked #3 just because that would’ve really sucked if it happened!
Yes, it would have totally sucked! Thank goodness that hasn’t happened to me, although it’s been a close call a few times! Sorry, that was TMI 🙂
Because I have a junky car, there will always be a cup for me to pee in and while you may not have done that, Dana, I totally have.
Also, I would have had to call my mom to pick me up too.
I was going to go with #1 only because the other two I figured you couldn’t make up. Hehehe. Can you imagine? #3 anyway. #2 I can imagine!
Yes, I think every mom has had their own version of #2 – literally!
I LOVED this. I have not clicked yet to see which is the false story – I am going to go with the first being false. I really just can’t see how you can make the bottom two up. I have a newly potty trained toddler as well and I have been pregnant in the winter… These have too much possibility to NOT be true… I will look now – Well shoot. Haha.
Oh and by the way – I do not hate you in regards to the new handbag. I need the truth sometimes! Fashion is not something I come by easy. I have actually grown very much in love with it primarily because of how organized it keeps me – I’m sure all the pockets and zippers scream “I’m a grandma!” 🙂
Oh, I’m so glad to hear that, Kate. After I commented I started worrying about it, hoping you wouldn’t be insulted and think I was being mean. Your own opinion is the only one that matters! And the pockets and zippers mean you’re a mom – we are like sherpas, aren’t we?
I was not insulted at all!! So, do not worry! Really, I MAKE the bag look good! Bahaha. J/K. I’ll have to take a selfie with it. 😀
Have a great week!
kate
I know that bathroom story is not true! lol. But still, it could happen. My son has bathroom emergencies all the time, and I need a cup like that one in your post. I myself seem to be able to hold my pee until the cows come home. Great post. Going to check on which one is untrue now.
Being able to hold your pee until the cows come home is a very valuable talent to have, Elizabeth!
I was totally right! I only knew because it was the normalest (totally a word. now anyway) of them all and I could just picture you doing the others. Actually, I could totally picture you doing the last one too because I have PEED IN MY OWN backyard before. Pregnant. what.
So it was that urgent that you couldn’t make it to bathroom? Never mind – save it for a hilarious post.
I want to say number 3 is a lie because it’s so far-fetched, but don’t people love to throw others off during these games? So I’ll say #2 is a lie because it’s the most normal one of the bunch, and I’m going with the “you can’t make this sh*t up!” reasoning on the other two in figuring that they’re truths…let’s see how I did…
I was wrong. I was WRONG!! But omg, what a FUN post idea. Do you mind if I use it sometime, as long as I give you credit? I just loved this!
Gotcha! Of course you can use it – it wasn’t my idea. I linked up with Theme Thursday, so those ladies had the idea. It is a fun twist on the game…I wonder what other games I can turn into blog posts…
Yay! I got it right!! I chose to believe that even pregnant, stranded, and full of urine you just had too much self-respect to pee yourself! 🙂
Ha – you’re not the first one to say that, Lisa! Thank you for choosing to believe that; I appreciate that.
I honestly couldn’t tell. I was thinking #3 then I said no #1….but #2 that had to be a truth!!
Spoken like a mom, Melissa! We can’t make those kid poop stories up. That was the first one that came to mind when I started writing.
I can’t believe I was right!!! And I have to say, this is the best, most clever idea ever. Talk about high reader engagement! Well played, my friend…
Thanks, Stephanie – gotta give Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 the credit for the idea. Some of the other bloggers promised their answers on their FB page today…but I like immediate gratification, and figured my readers would too!
I read too many of the earlier comments so I know which one your lie is…and am relieved for you!
Thanks – yeah, that would have sucked more than scooping my son’s poop.
I’m guessing number one is the lie. The other two are just too believable. But how could you hear a fart from a bicycle?
I was wrong. Damn it. I so wanted to not be the only person who’s pissed her pants in the car.
Oh, I could hear it. It was that loud. And it was very quiet; the only other sound was my labored breathing.
Ha! I was right. I could definitely believe the first two. What a clever idea, Dana! I was excited to click over and see if I was right…
I can’t take the credit, Jessica – it was a Theme Thursday linkup so one of those clever ladies came up with the idea. It was fun though!
Ha! I’m gonna guess that ALL THREE are true. Going to see if I’m right, now! FUNNY stuff. As always.
Not quite, but almost, Norine! Thanks for playing 🙂
That was easy pee-sy for me-sy!
I bet it was – you have to listen to all my “funny” stories ad nauseam!
I was right! I just kinda figured any girl, let alone one who wears heels, pregnant or not, wouldn’t pee in her clothes, or in her own car (think of the clean up!), no matter how cold it was. =)
Excellent job, though!
Ha – you are very astute, Stacy. You’re right, I probably would have at least gotten out of the car on the side away from traffic and peed there.
Well dang I messed up. Two truths one lie. That’s what happens when you don’t read the instructions. So I was wrong all the way around and told on myself for nothing 😉 LOL!
Now I understand. So I totally fooled you – yay!
I see there are a million comments so I’ll chime in before I peek. I think it’s #3. Just putting myself in your shoes, I would have been pissed at the farter and glared at him as I rode by letting him know with a glare that he did indeed just fart in my face. I remember my son at three. He barely like to step in the grass with his bare feet. He would have pooped in his pants before he’d go in the grass. #3 Except for the scenario, been there. Going to check the answer now.
Wait, I’m confused…
I was right! I have to admit – all three things or something close to them have happened to me so I found them all to be convincing. Scarlet pooped into a wipe in my hand in a playhouse at a park. I have heard elderly (and not) people fart in public a lot and each time, I have to go laugh somewhere else. And once I had to pee so badly in traffic in the pouring rain in Long Island, that I used..a square vase given to us from the wedding we had just attended. True story.
Ah…so I should keep a vase or other receptacle in the car for that very purpose. Seriously, I think I’m going to do that. Pooped into a wipe in your hand…what a pair of poopy kids we have!
there is no way you urinated on yourself. like absolutely now way, so i have to say the last one. checking now.
do i know you, or do i know you?!?! i was right. A+ for me as a kiss my list reader!
You know me! I love what you said – “there is no way you urinated on yourself.” That made me laugh.
waiting, waiting…
I was right, because it was the story I thought was most hilarious, and consequently the one least likely to be true 😛
(WHAT! Yes, I have a slightly sadistic side…)
A little sadism never hurt anyone..uh, wait. Never mind.
It’s fine as long as they pay. And you have a safe word.
Uhhhm do I know too much about this or what?!
I was right. I guessed you either a weren’t pregnant and did pee your pants or b you were pregnant and didn’t pee your pants.
So I was only sort of right. Or more or less…wrong.
But I got the right answer, right?
Yes you did! It was too hard to completely make up a story, so I took a real one and embellished it. Adding pee or poop to a story instantly makes it more fun!
#3 might be too crazy to be a lie. I will go with #2 🙂
Nope! Luckily for me, #3 was a lie. But unluckily for me, #2 was not.
I was right!!! The only reason I picked that is the whole sitting in urine thing. I’ve been pregnant twice and although I have had the need to pee like right now or my bladder will explode but to sit in my own urine, just a bit much.
I overdid it a bit, huh? I guess if I really did have to go and couldn’t get out of the car I would have sat in the passenger seat to pee, then moved back to the dry seat. Still gross, though.
I was right! But only because the first two stories were so funny that there was no way in my mind they couldn’t be true!! 🙂 Love this post! So much fun!-Ashley
Thanks Ashley – it was hard to come up with the fake story. Guess real life is funnier than any crap I could make up!
I was stumped, but I guessed number 3. Number 2 though made ME almost pee my pants now though! Hilarious!!!
After I scooped the poop, I was laughing too. How I wish I had taken a picture of my little boy squatting on the lawn!
Reading this, I was hoping #1 and #2 were true . . . and #3 wasn’t. Thank goodness!
Thanks for rooting for me, Mimi 🙂
What a fun post!!!
I guessed the 3rd – the other 2 I could totally see happening!!!
We have a winner! I’ve come close to peeing in my pants in the car a few times, but fortunately have never done it.
I was totally wrong. I didn’t know this game, but I like it. I guessed the second story. Sorry to hear that was true!
Ah, yes. So true. I bring it up all the time, and fortunately my son (who is now 12) is a good sport about it. I love this game too!
Oh, you’re good – I honestly could not tell! Any of these could have happened to me which is why I was stumped!
Yay – I happy I stumped you – I worked hard on these! I had some other stories I could have told, but even I have my limits as to what I will share on my blog 🙂
I’m going to go with #1 being the lie – because I simply cannot fathom that much exercise with the whole family and no one getting offed by a spare tire. 😉
Hmmm- did you check your answer? There were some choice words being muttered under my breath that day.
I couldn’t decide between 1 and 3. You’re good!
Thanks, Jenn. I’m always good for a nice bodily function story.
I guessed the correct lie! Being your Mom didn’t give me an edge since I didn’t recall helping you out! I just knew you wouldn’t pee in your pants on purpose – no matter what!
Well, when you gotta go you gotta go!
I will be honest and tell you I thought it was #3 that was the lie and for some reason I thought to myself that didn’t happen. I was actually right, go figure!! 🙂
Thank goodness that didn’t happen! And for guessing right you win….nothing. Just a virtual pat on the back 🙂
oh man Dana…I was sure it was the 2nd one…
I am keeping my son’s travel potty for those very reasons…I once peed myself…it was horrible. I was stuck in traffic and had to pee so bad…I got to the side of the road, but didn’t make it in time. driving home in wet pants is NOT fun.
That’s a good idea – a travel potty, or at least a big cup!