Thirty-four years after he died, my grandfather’s two children meet each other for the first time.
My grandparents with me, clearly in the 1970s
His daughter is my mother, to whom I gave a subscription to Ancestry.com last December, knowing that she would enjoy researching her family tree. She’s been looking for her half-brother for years, but with a fairly common first name and surname, he was impossible to find online.
Long-lost
I didn’t know I had an uncle until years after my grandfather passed away, although my mother knew from her adolescence. He had been married and divorced prior to marrying my grandmother. He lost contact with his son from that first marriage sometime after the boy turned thirteen.
In the pre-Internet age, it was easy for a person to become lost. It was even easier when that person’s birthdate and mother’s maiden name are unknown. And so my mother’s only sibling remained unfound until his daughter gave him a subscription to Ancestry.com for his birthday in February.
On Mother’s Day, my mother receives a notice from the website. Based on shared genetic markers, there is someone in their database who is likely her first or second cousin, and it is the name she has been searching for all these years. She emails him that afternoon to tell him they may be related.
Now found
He replies soon after. If your father’s name is R. and he died at eighty years of age in Maryland, he writes, then we are siblings.
They decide to eschew the term “half” when referring to one another; they are simply brother and sister.
The pair speak on the phone for forty-five minutes that first time, and by the time she hangs up, my mother has friended her grand-niece on Facebook. Less than two months later, my mother’s brother, sister-in-law and niece drive from out-of-state to spend twenty-four hours with their newly found family. We catch up on almost seven decades of lives lived apart.
I recognize my grandfather in my uncle: his eyes, his sense of humor, the easy-going and good-natured way he seems to take in the world. I smile at the gentle ribbing I witness between him and my mother, teasing each other as siblings do.
My uncle. My aunt. My cousin. We have dear family friends who are my honorary aunt, uncle and cousins, but none related by blood. My parents are both only children.
My mother was an only child. She isn’t anymore. And thirty-four years after he died, my grandfather’s daughter and son meet each other for the first time.
Dana, how beautifully you told our story. In finding his sister, my dad has found what he never realized he longed for. How blessed my parents and I were to meet and spend time with you, your sister, and your parents. Just the first of many visits I hope. For myself, I have gained extensions of my dad, in 2 new cousins and my aunt who it feels like I’ve known my whole life. Thank you for sharing what was truly a magical and miraculous experience.
What a lovely comment, Jackie – thank you! I feel the same way, and I’m so glad you and my aunt and uncle (I love saying that) made the trip to meet all of us. I’m looking forward to meeting the rest of your family (my family, too!), and I’m so grateful our parents were able to finally connect after all of these years.
That is soooo cool. I have a half sibling I didn’t know about until I was 30, pre-Facebook. It’s a long story, but I can’t imagine if I found our via an email form a stranger!!!!
I know! At least my mom knew it was a possibility her brother would find her on Ancestry, but she was still pretty amazed.
Holy cow – I got chills. And I totally see it in their eyes.
Thank you for sharing this!
I see it in their eyes too!
This is so heart-warming, Dana! I can only imagine the joy and anticipation that your mom and uncle experienced as they got to know each other. What a blessing. I’ve also used Ancestry.com and met cousins and other relatives I didn’t even know exist. And I’ve also now come into contact (not through Ancestry.com) with aunts I had never known before. It’s wonderful. Happy for you all! There’s no gift quite like family.
I’m so glad you’ve found long-lost family too, Alison. It truly is a gift.
These type of stories are so wonderful to hear. Have you watched any of the programs on TV about people who have taken a DNA test or have some info about their ancestors and through the moderators of the shows are able to often find relatives they didn’t know about? I never tire of watching these programs.
Your mother and her brother resemble one another so much. How exciting for them to be able to visit and compare their lives.
I haven’t watched those shows, but my mother has. I should give them a try!
What an amazing story! I can only imagine what this must have been like for your mom.
Crazy, right?
What an incredible story!!! So happy for your family’s reunion.
Thanks, Catherine!
What a wonderful story! A friend of mine had a similar experience, but with HER half-sister. It’s so great that your mom and uncle found each other…wow.
Another sibling story – love it!
Oh and I might have already said this on facebook but I love your new profile picture!
Thanks:)
Wow! What a story. I think you could turn this into a novel or something. I’m excited for your family.
Thank you Julia!
Awww this made my eyes tear up. What a wonderful gift! I love that they went beyond the first phone call. I see the resemblance too. I’m wondering if my dad would take the time do the research with this gift. There’s no half siblings that we know of but we don’t know much about the family of his surname. Maybe it’s just something I should take on myself. Thanks for sharing this incredible story. So glad it has a happy ending.
Me too, Kenya!
Oh, Dana. This is absolutely amazing!! And to think this happened because of your ancestry.com gift you gave your mom. There is NOTHING that would ever beat that gift. What an incredible life moment to celebrate and embrace now and always. This makes me cry.
(Also, which feels weird to add on this profound post, but I couldn’t comment on your Budapest post and I just wanted to tell you I loved it and learned SO much, as usual from your travel pieces. I’m so grateful you share all the tips and insights we can all learn from and plan to use SOMEDAY! lol)
You’ve certainly caught up on my blog today, Chris! 😉 Glad you enjoyed all the posts.
What a wonderful story! You can definitely tell that your mom and her brother are related; I’m so happy they found each other, and you all gained more family. 🙂
Thank you Sarah!
My sister has done Ancestry testing. I’m counting on her to find the long lost relatives. But this story is amazing! thanks for sharing!
No need for you to do it if your sister has…have fun exploring your roots!
wow, that is so amazing! Nice touching story
Thanks, Anna Maria 🙂
I saw this in my inbox earlier but was working, then FTSF, and had no clue it’d become a FTSF post. Wow. I wasn’t an only child but was adopted and met my bio mom and 1/2 bio sister about six years ago now. My bio aunt is coming to a party at our house in a week. OMG, weird, and also perfect. I’m so glad your mom met her brother and WOW you could see your son in him? I think that was one of the coolest things about finding my bio mom’s family – I look like them. It’s weird though, talking to Tucker about it because my family is my family but when he asks about roots, I have to be honest. Hence, his interest in Vikings. Not from the family I grew up in. Maybe ancestry.com is worth it here, too.
Your mom and her brother – you can see it.
You can, I think. Your story is pretty amazing too! Vikings are pretty cool…
Such a wonderful and touching story. So great for your mom especially, and all the family. May she have many years to make up for those lost. Please give her our fondest regards.
I will definitely do that! Hope you and Mr.C are doing well.
THIS is why technology is fantastic!! There are often too many people touting the toxicity of social media, technology and having “too much” information but THIS is the best possible use of all of those things! What an absolutely wonderful story! Thank you for sharing it!!
I couldn’t wait to share, Allie!
What can I say, but I am honestly crying happy tears after reading how your mom and uncle finally met and also formed a relationship even after all this time. It sounded to me like the two have fast found and truly formed a strong bond. Which is truly amazing and an awesome blessing in disguise, Dana.
It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?