Let me start off with a quiz. One of these photos is art, and is hanging on a wall in the Museum of Modern Art in New York City. One is a photo of my driveway. Can you tell which is which?
Is this art?
Or is it this one?
Each time we visit New York City, we take the kids to a museum. I am not an art aficionado, but I want my children to be exposed to all sorts of culture, whether it is something I enjoy or not.
We took photos of my daughter mimicking the poses of each sculpture. You have to make your own fun, right?
Inside we walked through some exhibits that appealed to us – famous artists and their famous works, like Picasso and Van Gogh.
I can appreciate this as art. These works required skill to create, and I admire the ability to take a blank canvas and turn it into a thing of beauty.
Monet, Munch, and Van Gogh – this is art.
A white canvas, smudged with some off-white paint
An empty room with a large gray cement slab on the floor (the slab being the art)
An old film clip of odd men and women dancing (my son thought they were doing the Harlem Shake)
A pink fiberglass plank, 12 feet tall and leaning against the wall
We should have left the museum at this point. But no, we had to walk through the contemporary gallery,featuring modern art from 1980 to the present. Clearly these artists were on drugs. As were the curators who chose to display this crap masquerading as art.
Think I’m being too harsh? This is what we saw:
Two old canister vacuum cleaners – passing as art
A room filled with what looked like hanging ball sacs (like the classy ones guys hang off the back bumper of their pickups) – calling it art
A clear plastic crib with no bottom – that’s modern art?
A set of framed prints, with long strands of hair in the center of each – Really???
So back to the quiz: which piece is hanging in the MoMA, and which is my driveway?
The top photo is the “art.” Did you get it right?
Just found your blog on the Voice of the Year humor entry pages. I can completely relate. I once saw an exhibit at MOMA that was a bunch of hanging printer’s boxes, filled with marbles evoking different scenarios. It was years ago, but I think I recall a box with a lone marble in one compartment, titled “isolation” or “lonliness” or something equally ludicrous. Another had a black marble in one compartment and a white in another and had some stupid title like “segregation.” It was truly the most ridiculous exhibit I’d ever seen. I feel your pain!
Ha – that is hilarious. Nice to know I’m not the only one who doesn’t “appreciate” all types of art. Thanks for visiting, Parri!
Hilarious post. I called my husband over to ask which was art…he cracked up. Framed hair?? I don’t get it either. We are in the wrong line of business sister.
Tell me about it. I made muffins wearing a black sundress yesterday. I’m a messy baker, so my dress was a mess by the end. I’m going to frame it and submit it to the MoMA – at least it wouldn’t gross anyone out.
I’m with you! I love to expose my children to different museums and art. We had a great time in DC recently hitting the many museums out there. It is so difficult though explaining to them how something that looks like they could have done it constitutes as art. Ha ha! Love the poses!
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We love the DC museums too, but we tend to go to non-art ones – Natural History, American History, etc. So this was our first time in a modern art museum – a definite eye opener!
You’re freakin’ hysterical. I was an art major, and I remember when I took “performance art”. Dude, talk about Anything Goes. That was a crappy class, I didn’t learn anything except put a toilet in the middle of the room, call it art and sell it for 100,000. Never worked for me. Go figure.
Well, now I know what to do make that million dollars . . .
That is CRAZY, lol.
Stopping in from SITS!
Thanks for visiting, Jennifer!
I LOVE THIS! I am so glad you did a post like this because I always feel like an a-hole (but it doesn’t stop me from) pointing out how ridiculous some of this “art” is. And I can’t stand the response, “You just don’t understaaaaaaand art.” I always think, “Um, obviously neither do you.” Of course, I don’t get into a lot of conversations about art because I’m not that classy…so these are things that are said in imaginary convos. Does that make sense? Haha. Great post, seriously. Laughed my arse off at the top pics!!
It makes perfect sense. Some of the best conversations I have are in my head. I’m glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand art!
My daughter is an up and coming modern artist. She is constantly making sculptures out of recycled stuff. I love that she wants to create, but I don’t think I am cultured enough to appreciate it the way she does. Not to mention that I am DROWNING in her artwork at the moment! This makes me think that I am way overdue on a post about her latest creations!
I used to take photos of my kids’ artwork and then discreetly recycle it, otherwise I would be up to my ears in it. Looking forward to seeing your little artist’s works – as long as it doesn’t involve framed hair or a vacuum cleaner.
I agree with you…I think there are a lot of unemployed people smoking a lot of weed creating “art.”
Ha – now that I think about it, the “art” would have been much more meaningful if I had a good buzz going…
Your driveway has more texture and depth. You should consider framing it. That’s culture, man!
I wonder if I could get by with watercolor butt prints. I’ll need a bigger piece of paper…
If the MoMA would pay for a chunk of my driveway I would gladly cut it out. And watercolor butt prints sound much less creepy than the hair prints – go for it!
I got it right! I could see the little concrete grooves. Love how you said that “this is not mocking, it’s appreciating. We mock later.” Hehe!
And hey, if you ever do decide to dip yourself in chocolate and roll around on a canvas, and it sells for millions of dollars, will you please share your secret rolling style?
Absolutely!
That post was hilarious! The title alone killed me! I have to say, I honestly like the driveway photo better! Ridiculous!
I’m glad you liked it! (the title and my driveway) 🙂
I had absolutely NO idea I had so much art hanging around my yard and house.
I totally guessed the wrong one. Dang. Sometimes weird avant garde art speaks to me, in a good way. Other times it just says to me, “WTF was this guy on?”
So you’re saying my driveway could be in the MoMa? 🙂
I’m with you…if my kid can create it, it’s not art! It is amazing what is considered modern art these days.
True! An old vacuum cleaner is not art. I could make a lot of money of off mine if it was!
Yes I liked that one too. I have an old chair my puppy ripped to shreds…can I make some $$ off of that? He did some really unique work…it looks quite unusual now. Hehe
You’re recent post on your ‘literal pet peeves’ is, for me, this one. Are they kidding? I don’t even go into the Modern Galleries of museums because I know I will come away shaking my head. I’m so glad you spoke up about this one. I wish more people did.
Thanks, Cheryl. This was my first visit to a modern art museum – that would be my first choice from now on!
I guess my artistic mind is just not developed enough. I don’t like modern “art” at all and am right there with you on trash and random concrete looking canvasses not being art!
Your daughter cracks me up!
She cracks me up too. You should have seen her imitating the Renaissance style painting in the cruise ship elevators last summer. We interpret art in our own way in our family 🙂
I guess #2 as yours, but barely! I have the same struggles with MoMA. And I always tell my husband to never under any circumstances take me to one of those live exhibits that have people naked or silent for 12 hours or doing whatever they do..because I would absolutely laugh and ruin everything for everyone there.
Oh, I would totally do that too! We were beginning to bug people in the sculpture garden with our poses and laughter – classy, I know 🙂
I love the captions “we’re appreciate Art, we mock later”. You are great. I agree so much of it just seems sensationalist and in your face, however, after studying Art History, and taking many seminars in modern art, I feel like although I may not always enjoy it aesthetically, I can understand and appreciate it knowing why cubists portrayed objects the way they did or why Warhol painted Campbell soup cans (I am talking about the less modern modern art). I still think they strands of hair behind the glass are creepy 🙂
We saw the soup can painting – forgot to take a picture of it. You are right; we can appreciate art without enjoying it. But yanking out your own (or someone else’s) hair and calling that art? You said it: creepy.
We love to do the museums in the city too and though my husband and I both went to art school, I’m with you. When I see stuff like that its an eye roller. The pictures of your daughter are hilarious!
I feel better about my stance knowing that even an educated art viewer rolls her eyes!
Oh do I agree! I was lucky enough to get to go to many incredible museums when we lived in Europe, to include the Louvre, and to see some of this stuff that people actually pay for and pay to see (no offense, you obviously wish you could take that back!) is just offensive to true art! You are right, if you could dip yourself in chocolate and roll around on a canvas, and ANYONE can do that, it’s not art. Where is the talent? I think their talent might be in duping people!!
So true. And it cracks me up when art critics analyze this work to find deeper meaning (the blank canvas represents our emptiness, blah blah) – they are getting paid for this?? To each his own, I guess, but it’s not for me.
I only got it right because I figured your driveway is probably grayer. I have the same problem with modern art. I’m always asking, “Am I missing something? How can this be art??” Sometimes I get the emotions that a piece can evoke because it’s got a cool title, but like you said, if I could make it, then is it really art?
I wanted to “culturize” my kids and took them to the Chicago Contemporary Art Museum last year. Along with all the whacked out stuff there was one room that had photos of naked women, about the size of a magazine, in frames lining the walls. I thought – did they just rip those out of Playboy? Because that’s what it looked like. So I diverted my boy’s attention and as we walked out suggested they have some warning signs before parents reached that crap with their kids (especially since our tickets were advertised to families). I did find out that since then they have put up signs for families suggesting they preview certain rooms before entering. Kudos to them! Unfortunately, there’s still a building full of recyclables, Playboys, and blank walls called art.
Ugh – we could have used a few warning signs at the MoMa. I had to turn my son’s head a few times as well – from very adult drawings that were just hanging in the hallways connecting one exhibit to another. I think we will stick to more kid friendly culture from now on!
I did get it right. I guessed the second one was yours because it had more texture, and I figured that the texture would have thrown some “modern art picker” off, because it made more sense. Not that any of it makes sense. Modern art is strange. It just is.
Ha – I was trying to get a photo with less texture, but my driveway just isn’t that smooth! You get an A+ for the day, Tracie 🙂
I know…I think art and beauty is in the eye of the beholder…but I also think I have no class…because most of modern art just confuses me. Would my son’s jelly hand prints on the wall be modern art?
Hey, if your daughter is striking a pose like the statue, then that is appreciating it.
Your son’s hand prints would have fit right in! And true, she did appreciate the statue by striking a pose. You should have seen some of the other statues – we could’ve been arrested for posing like them!
Oh, so funny! I kept thinking back to the Sex in the City episode where Carrie and Miranda were waiting to see if the girl who was sitting as the art exhibit left in the middle of the night to eat a cheeseburger. What really is art? It’s in the eye of the beholder.
I remember that episode – and you are right, art is in the eye of the beholder. This beholder was not impressed!
I love art museums but must confess I have a real issue with some modern art. I think as you do…c’mon, if I could do it…I loved your kid in the sculpture garden.
Thanks, Zoe. We were having fun, but had to keep our giggles to a minimum so we didn’t disturb the serious art lovers in the garden:)