Girlfriends. We have them in elementary school, running on the blacktop and trading snacks in the cafeteria. We have them in middle and high school, sharing secrets, clothes, and dreams. We have them as young women, as we emerge from our childhoods and find our way in this new grownup world. And we have them as mothers, when they are our comrades in arms. Yet in the frenzy that is motherhood, our girlfriends can easily drift to the edge of our lives; there simply aren’t enough hours in the day for girl time. Right?
Ah, but there is. There has to be. Because our girlfriends fill that space that children and husbands can’t. Girlfriends give us permission to be ourselves in all our imperfect glory, with no expectations or demands. They know what it is like to be defined by all those hats we wear, and they allow us to toss them off and just BE.
Spending time with my girlfriends invigorates me. I laugh until I
I am so blessed to be a part of a few different girlfriend groups, and I bask in my friends’ wit, compassion, and occasional salaciousness. Each group enriches my life in a way that my phenomenal husband and children can’t.
Make a plan to spend time with your girlfriends; the returns are immeasurable. Yes, it may be difficult to do, but make it a priority to nourish these relationships. Take a weekend getaway if you can, or take in a weeknight movie. Create a book club, or a Pokeno group, or meet for lunch. Make the effort; spending time away from your spouse and kids will make you a better – and happier – wife and mother because of it.
My amazing and perennially positive friend Kris is the mastermind behind Thirsty Thursdays, a few hour monthly reprieve for the women in our neighborhood. On the third Thursday of each month we meet at a local restaurant or bar to catch up and recharge. We show up when we can, for however long we can get away. Some months there are five women, some months there are twenty. But I will move heaven and earth to be there, because I love my girls.
I envy you the ability to hang out with your girlfriends. Having moved to a whole new town within the last year, then having a baby, I haven’t met many people at all. I enjoy going to get my hair done, just to have a couple of hours with other women, lol. Good reminder that I need to get to work on this. 🙂
That has to be difficult, Melissa. I met many of my current girlfriends through my kids – playgroups, preschool – so I hope you’ll meet some great ladies soon.
Dana this was so great! I was never really good at friendships that needed work, but as a mom I realized I needed to connect or tear my hair out! Now I try to get out once a week, with just “the girls” and it fixes things right up! BTW Love your new header!!!
Thank you Jen! Being with the girls does fix things, doesn’t it?
Dana,
Such a great post and I appreciate the reminder! I did a poor job of connecting with girlfriends once Tucker was born (plus my two BFFs live out of state). It’s just been recently that I’ve gotten close to one of the moms at Tucker’s school and what an awesome thing girlfriends are!!! So glad you linked this post up today!
I’m glad you’ve connected with another mom, Kristi. I know this post isn’t funny like most in the link up, but it’s an important topic for moms. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday!
Dana- Girlfriends are a lifeline. The beauty is too is that there are no expectations. I have not been a good friend for sometime but am fortunate to know my girls still love me, at least I hope they do….
Aww, Sue – you are a fabulous friend. Being a good friend means you give when you can and you take when you need to. And this girl still loves you! xoxo
What a great post! It is also wonderful that my friends have given my children their best friends!
Awwww! Love it!! Thank you for the kind words and I agree 100% with your assessment, Dana. Sometimes at the end of a long week, I just want to curl up in my cozy pants on the sofa and chill in front of the tv. But I know that no matter how exhausted I am, going to Pokeno or out with girlfriends will invigorate and renew me in ways even a great night’s sleep cannot. Thanks for the blog-love, sister. xo back at ya!
You’re so right, Kris – sometimes it takes effort to get out, but it’s always worth it. I never come home from a girls’ night out saying “I should’ve stayed home.” Thanks for providing an opportunity for us to haul our asses our the door 🙂
Incredibly true! Loving your blog!
Thank you, my fabulous daughter, using a pseudonym so I don’t know who she is 🙂 Now go to bed!
Couldn’t have said it better…..Dana you rock!
Back at ya, Becky! xoxo
Thirsty Thurs sounds like a great idea. I definitely don’t get enough girl time 🙁
It is a great idea – and it’s an easy way to get away for a few hours. Hope there is more girl time in your future1
“They know what it is like to be defined by all those hats we wear, and they allow us to toss them off and just BE” Could not agree more. There was just a post on BlogHer from a mom who said she needs/misses having a best friend. The comments were overwhelming – so many people sharing that wish. You are right. Girlfriends are simply crucial for your soul. But someone when we’re mothers of young children – when we need them the most – it’s hardest to maintain those relationships.
You’re right, Kim – it can be hardest when the kids are young to make time. Some of my dearest friends I met when we started a playgroup when our kids were preschoolers. The kids played and we chatted and ate and laughed. The youngest kids are second graders now, and we still meet for “playgroup” without the kids.
Mine too, mine too. It makes me miss them, scattered over the country as we are…
I can imagine; I’m fortunate enough to have most of my girlfriends nearby.
Girl time is absolutely a necessity!!
Girlfriends remind us that there is more to us than wife/partner/mother/daughter. I know spending time with my best girlfriend always makes my day.
So true – and so many women forget that there is more to them. Thanks for commenting!
When you asked right? In the beginning, I actually nodded my head and replied yes aloud. This was such a great, honest post. This belongs in the pages of some women’s weekly magazine on how to live a good life. Great, great post that really made me appreciate my true friends. Thanks!
Thanks so much for the kind words, Angela. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Having moved in my adult life, and being an introvert, it takes me years to find those girls in my new homes. But once I have them, they are everything you’ve described. I love my girlfriends.
I’m sure it’s difficult to start over, but you’re right – once you have them, good girlfriends are worth keeping. Thanks for commenting!
So true! Girlfriends are so important in life!
I crave time with my girlfriends and always feel like I am short changing those relationships. Juggling two toddlers, a husband, a home and a full time job can be too much. But just like I get cranky when I haven’t seen the sun in a while, I get even more cranky when I haven’t had some QT with my girls. So so true.
That’s a perfect analogy, Amanda. Thanks for commenting!
true true true! Incredibly true!
So very important. I’ve been encouraging my wife for some time to get out w/ her girlfriends more, and she has just started to take me up on my advice, and I can tell how good it is for her. Because I sure am not shy about taking time for me and the guys. . . 🙂
What a good husband! You’re right – both spouses need their time with friends. And with each other – but that’s another post for another day…
Yes! Exactly! Self care and balance are such a necessary part of life and girlfriends play a big role in that.
So true. Girlfriends are the sanity that balance the insanity that is daily life.
Girlfriends rule! Speaking of which, I need to give mine a call…
Yes you do 🙂
So true. I just had a great GNO a few weeks ago, but I don’t do them nearly enough. Thanks for the reminder.
My pleasure!
I laugh and I actually pee…since having kids my bladder control isn’t the same….
I hear ya – that’s why I crossed out almost! Thanks for commenting!
yes!! go girlfriend! you said it!
thanks 🙂
sweet blog dana — this is definitely a topic you know about! do you realize by my very (un)scientific calculations we’ve had 344 “playgroups” over the past 9 years.
So that means almost one full year of my favorite days!
Girlfriends are the best. I love my family too, but there is nothing like a few hours with my best friends to lift me up and make me smile.
Yes! My friends are my sanity. I have to travel to see them but it’s always worth it