I haven’t always loved projects. They really are only fun if I create them; when someone else assigns them, they suck. The same applies to reading – let me pick my own book; don’t tell me what to read. Although that is one thing I appreciate about book clubs, that someone else picks the book and I may just discover a new favorite.
School projects, specifically science projects, feature prominently in some of the most distressing moments of my adolescence. Give me a face full of zits and bad hair any day, but don’t give me a science project.
I did well in school, but I was a perfectionist. If I couldn’t get it right with little effort, I got all wonky and anxious. Schoolwork was relatively easy for me, but when it wasn’t I freaked out. Middle school science fairs were my Achilles heel, and my first project in sixth grade was a disaster.
We could do an experiment or a report, and I chose a report (Mistake #1). I refused any help from my father (Mistake #2). I wrote a report on trees of North America, complete with a lovely map of the US with little drawings of trees on it (Mistake #3).
Trees. Beautiful but boring.
It sucked. It was pretty, but it was also completely boring and unscientific. My parents and I arrived at the science fair to see rows of projects that were clearly done by parent-child teams, with the parent assuming the lead.
I got a 75% on that project, and I was pissed. In seventh and eighth grades, I did surveys that qualified as experiments, tallying and graphing my results with the help of my father and his computer. In the early eighties, computers were a big deal, and I knew that using one gave my project an air of sophistication that was so lacking in my weak botanical report.
“How do People Feel About Nuclear War” won me an Honorable Mention at the science fair. I changed the survey questions the following year, creating “How do People Feel About Using Animals in Research.” It was not award-worthy, but I got an A.
When Gwen came home with a science project assignment in seventh grade, I thought I was going to puke. Visions of that stupid tree map swam in my head, and I resisted the urge to rip up her papers and hide in my bathroom. I help my children with 95% of their homework, but I refused to dredge up the memories that haunted me during my teenage years.
They nudged their way into my brain anyway, and I started seeing insects. I loved ninth grade Biology class; dissecting frogs was much less gross and much more fun than I anticipated it would be. Then the project was assigned: an insect collection. We had to find insects out in the wild, kept them intact, and pin them to styrofoam that was then installed in a shoe box. Just like the Smithsonian does, I thought.
None of my insects looked like this.
I trapped and killed a bunch of bugs, and stabbed pins through them. I labeled them with the correct phylum and genus, and boarded the school bus the morning the project was due. With my usual grace, I tripped going up the bus steps and dropped the box.
I won’t recount the carnage that occurred inside that shoe box, but my chances of a good grade were shattered along with the insect wings and thoraxes. I got another damn C.
My kids were not going to get C’s on their science projects, because I was not going to help them. In a healthy marriage, one parent tags in when the other tags out. I tagged out, and Matt not quite enthusiastically took over. Two science projects and a toothpick bridge construction project later, he and our children have not killed one another.
Not yet, anyway. This text came from Gwen yesterday:
The Great Projectile Launcher Project. Fabulous.
Oh no!! This was so funny. And yeah, science project is up there with diorama. (Did I spell that correctly?) But science project is still worse.
My kids have never had to do a diorama, but I did! Oh, I had forgotten about those. I think I did one with dinosaurs…
I still have nightmares over science projects. Ugh!! I hated them and my parents never really helped me. It was my homework/project so I had to do it. No one told me I could do a survey…brilliant. I do not look forward to the day when my kids come home with science projects assigned, however, I married a scientist so I think I’ll give it to him to handle.
I think that is a smart move, Denise!
this brings up something that i hadn’t considered as a parent—helping kids with their school work. my parents helped me when i was very very little, but after a certain age (i think maybe 1st or 2nd grade), i was pretty much on my own. do most parents help their kids with science projects? aren’t they at the age they should be coming up with the ideas on their own? i am curious as i have no idea what is expected these days.
We don’t help a lot – the idea has to be theirs, but they can’t go out and buy supplies on their own. Most of our parental involvement is just reminding them to get it done. But yes, you will find over zealous parents taking charge and creating NASA worthy projects that are a bit ridiculous.
I totally relate to this. I was little miss perfect-grades in school but I loathed projects like this. Test me on anything but don’t make me make a baking soda volcano or whatever it was the other kids did, with their parents help. First of all, my parents were much older than most of my friends’ parents, and this may or may not be the reason it didn’t even occur to them to help me with my projects. That being said, I will say one of my proudest moments was winning a science fair because though my project was, shall we say, not visually stimulating, as a smartypants I actually knew what I was talking about for the presentation part while all the others kids did not. Taking the high road I did not gloat. Much. 😉
You deserved to gloat! I have to think that the teachers could tell which projects were done by the parents.
Ahh! I feel that way about my kindergartener’s homework everyday. I’m in for a long, anxiety-filled journey. I did the toothpick bridge in 7th grade. Mine was one of the first ones to break 🙁
That sucks – I’m sorry! Gwen’s held 79 pounds – pretty amazing for toothpicks and wood glue.
The Husband is the real science geek, so he can take all of those science projects! I can’t imagine having done a project like that with pinning all the insects to the foam board. *shivers* And if my kids ever come home with a project for a projectile launcher…it better be completed far away from my home.
I know – I’m a bit nervous about that one!
Every time a science project comes home, I tag out! Every single time.
You are a smart woman, Allie.
Hahaha. I don’t have many memories of my own school projects. I never helped my kids unless they specifically asked for something, which most of the time they did not. I always hated going into the schools and seeing all the projects clearly done by parents. But I think a lot of teachers take that into consideration. One of my kids’ teachers required all projects to be done in class! Loved that teacher!
Oh, that would be awesome! I can’t stand homework – I think I hate it more as a parent than I did as a kid.
I wish science had been my thing, but sadly, it was not…
Despite my rantings, I liked science and did well – it was just those dumb projects that have scarred me for life!
Chris loves that kind of thing so he generally helps with big projects. However, our boys are like you were in 6th grade (and like I was) and prefer doing the project on their own. At their elementary there were always tables in the hallway with all the projects displayed. 95% of the things looked like a parent did everything – pretty sure that the teachers knew that too.
I think you’re right, Kim. It was pretty obvious which projects were done by parents, especially when the kids were only 8 or 9.
I have to admit that I don’t exactly dread school projects, particularly science projects. I like science, and am trying to convey that enjoyment to my kids. It’s always a delicate balance, though, between helping your kid do their project and doing it for them. So I agree with you there, about having to walk the balance between doing nothing and doing everything.
I like science too, but it’s the long term projects that are a pain in the neck. Teaching your kid to plan out things in advance and pace the project is important but tedious.
Oh boy – this is an area I’ll tag OUT of a lot. Scarlet doesn’t have homework in kindergarten and her current project involves hot gluing 100 pennies or Legos onto a vest.
Baby steps.
That sounds like my kind of project! I’m a master with a hot glue gun.
I can’t stand the projects! Since my oldest started middle school, I’ve kept my distance, letting her go it alone. She’s done pretty well, but the stress of those few weeks leading up to Science Night is the worst. Plus, once they put in all that hard work, they don’t want to “recycle” them right away. We have numerous dioramas, three-way posters and 3-D plant cell models strewn about our garage. Ack.
Ha! We have old ones in a basement closet somewhere too. I’ll make my kids take them when they get their first place on their own 😉
Ha! I am not a fan of science projects either – mostly because my kids never choose the ones I suggest and their ideas are always much more complicated and boring – at least to me. Plus, I’m not science-y. David is, though. He would be all over that Great Projectile Launcher project. The only trick would be making sure he let the kids do at least some of it on their own! 🙂
That won’t be an issue here!
I’m going to respond to your first paragraph before I read the rest of the post and forget what I was going to ask. But do you take advantage of the two free books a month you get with Amazon Prime? That’s definitely a way to check out something new. I’ve download 4 – Jan/Feb freebies but I haven’t read them yet.
As for science projects, Matt’s response would be mine. Thing went a little smoother for us year. “I” definitely didn’t try as hard. It was still due right after Christmas break which it STUPID, so we did it in ONE DAY, two days before traveling for Christmas. He got an 88 which was fine by me. There was a whole bunch of explanation of what was wrong about the project when it came back home. I was totally like “whatever”.
I don’t have a Kindle, but Gwen does – so she will use the free books option when she has time to read something other than English books.
Two days before Christmas? My kids’ were due the first week back in January. But at least you didn’t have to worry about it over the break!
This: They really are only fun if I create them; when someone else assigns them, they suck. COULD NOT AGREE MORE.
That’s how it is with most things, isn’t it?
oh jeez! I dread my son’s science fair, where we have to come up with projects. I go crazy…one haunting memory for me, Dana 😉
Thank heavens we are done for this academic year!
TGIF
Thanks Ruchira – hope you are having a great weekend!
Oh man I’m having flashbacks of HATING science projects!!!!!! UGH!!! I would just beg my parents to help because my brain just didn’t work that way! Give me an art project and I would count the seconds to be able to get into it…….We just are what we are right;) xo
Yes we are!
OMG, this had me laughing out loud, I’m so dreading doing science projects with my kids, school in general was not fun for me at all, now I have to do it all over again with my children? yuck! lol 😉
Jen
I know! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said “I already finished 8th grade.” Or 9th, or 10th, or 11th…
Ha, this brought back so many memories! I loved science projects BUT….I completely sucked at them! I soooo remember the frog dissection. I never did do an insect collection. That is awesome that Matt has tagged in to help the kids! Re: The Great Projectile Launcher Project. Hey, a sling shot I can handle…but everyone would need to take cover lol. Have a great weekend, Dana! 🙂
I’m hoping no windows get broken in this latest project! Enjoy your weekend too, Mike.
So wait- I have to help them with these dreaded things? Oh no no no. My kids know better than to ask me about science and math. Give me arts and writing and I’m cool. Tagging Derek in future science projects ahead!!
Trees, oh those beautiful trees. lol Bless your heart for trying, kid. 😉 I would actually be interested in seeing the other research survey outcomes you did!!
Yeah, I’ve blocked them out, Chris – sorry!
Not really the same as a science project but my 8th grader has had a book report assigned for weeks. First she lost the book — and I got her one on her phone. (I guess the very first was her argument with the teacher about what type of book she had to choose.) Now the report due date is days away. All week, I’ve asked if she’s finished the book. Finally yesterday morning, I announced, “I’m not going to say another thing to you about this.” After school yesterday, I asked her if she’d started her report — guess her reply. “I thought you weren’t going to ask me.”
That sounds just like conversations at my house, Jamie! I try so hard to keep my mouth shut, but I watch the kids wait until the last minute and it drives me NUTS.
Noooooo. Oh the horror. Haunting science project memories are washing over me as I type. I didn’t get one lick of the Science gene. Imagine the nightmarish nights as my two and I struggled with “pulleys” “levers” “self propelled machines” … Is it any wonder both of mine are majoring in the Arts? Absolutely not.
Best of luck Dana.
I’ll pass the luck wishes onto Matt… because I am staying far away from this latest project!
Tag out indeed I like your motto and wish I could use it for Every Day Math 🙂
I love math – you can tag me in! It’s the long term projects that annoy me.
Science is my weak spot. I was homeschooled growing up, but not homeschooled in a way I intend to homeschool MY kids. My parents basically decided to let us CHOOSE what we wanted to pursue, and then gave us the bare minimum of education to just squeak by with a high school diploma. I hated science, so I never LEARNED it. It’s kind of embarrassing as an adult now, having such ignorance regarding math and science. Even though I hate the subjects, I’m going to make sure my kids get a well rounded education… – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com
So you’ll have to help with science projects, but they can be much more integrated into your daily life. I’m sure you’ll find a way to educate your kids in all areas, even the ones that you aren’t as strong in.
I will consider myself lucky because up until now we (as in the country) don’t usually do this unless we specifically sign up for it. However, with all the recent law changes that may change as well and I dread that day. I know I suck at math and science. Frank claims he sucks at math when doing it traditionally, but oddly enough he has his own way that works and is actually easier for our son to understand. So we covered that – now we will pray we don’t get blasted with projects suddenly!
I hope you don’t, either!
I was a perfectionist, too, and all it did was make me a good student and a giant stressball. My daughter has the same tendencies and I’m trying to break her. Really. Thankfully, my son skipped the science fair this year and -hallalejah-I think we just missed the deadline to sign up for my daughter’s. Hope I convince her how much fun it is to GO to the science fair than BE in the science fair!
I wish the science projects were optional; they were in elementary school, but not after that. And yes, I was a giant stressball too, and I still kinda am.
How timely this post is Dana! My 3rd and 5th grader have come home this week with science fair notices. And I don’t want anything to do with them! The one science project I did in high school – making a bell – was the most unsuccessful endeavor of my school career. So these guys are pretty much on their own. We’ll see how it goes :).
Good luck to them, Nicki. A bell? Gwen just made a bridge out of toothpicks…
Oh no, haha! I was such a perfectionist as well with school projects & homework, but I actually liked science projects. They were optional in 7th & 8th grade but I did them because I thought they were fun (or I was just a big nerd). I think I really liked the hands-on aspect of them. But I feel your pain, I imagine doing them as a parent will be quite different!
I think I hated them because I couldn’t make them perfect! So I stay away now. Although I am the parent that helps my kids put their display boards together. Perfection is appreciated in that department!
This title made me laugh out loud. We haven’t gotten to science projects yet but this is a TAG OUT for me! I do book reports and history. John must always deal with math and science.
I’m fine with math and science, but give me a long term project and I will run the other way!
I helped my kids with their science projects in early elementary school — basically, right up until they realized that I’m not very smart about science projects. Now, my older children just give me the supply list and promise not to blow anything up, and I have to be good with that.
I think that sounds like the perfect arrangement! This year our basement smelled like spoiled milk because, well, my son was testing the spoilage rate of milk. Eeewww.
The worst!!! May I suggest an infant with a milk allergy for the “projectile launch?”
Yet another thing I’m not looking forward to but, I think my husband would be all over this. He loves science and math! How we’re still married, I haven’t a clue.
I was thinking a drunk middle aged guy for projectile launch, but okay…
OH, this had my head spinning and I felt like I might throwup…terrible memories. I quit science the minute I had my minimum requirements for graduation met. Blah.
My Daughter, however, loves science. This she does NOT get from me! Thankfully, the Hub is here to help her.
And what is with these Valentine boxes? We just got a paper about it, too – my master’s thesis wasn’t this complicated. When I was in school, Valentines got placed on your desk while you chowed down on pink cupcakes. End of story.
I escaped those…I can’t remember either of my kids having to create a Valentine box as a homework assignment. Good luck with yours!
Ugh ugh ugh. I already feel like I’m failing at projects and Tucker is in kindergarten. Ours now is a “homemade fun box for valentine’s cards that you both work on and that your child is proud of and will stand on a desk alone” — ARE YOU FKIDDINGME. Tucker wants Optimis Prime (spell??) and ugh. Ugh. Also the cards? Fun except when they turn out sucky. I am dreading science projects. I can’t even remember mine – it must have been awful. Thanks for linking up sweets!
Please share your finished creation with us – I can’t believe that is an assigned project! Like you need to spend your time at home creating a stupid card box. Wouldn’t a paper bag be sufficient?
I dread doing science projects with the girls. Emma got a paper that said she could do it this year and thankfully Kevin and I agreed that Kindergarten is just too young to do this her, so I am off the hook for now, but god help me my own bad memories came flooding back (just like you I have my fair share) all the same and admit I truly am not looking forward to the day Emma and Lily, too are old enough to want to attempt this either.
The projects stink, even in elementary school – but at least at that age they are easier!