I am suffering from senioritis.
I suppose I had it when I was actually a high school senior as well. Google defines seniorits as “a supposed affliction of students in their final year of high school or college, characterized by a decline in motivation or performance.”
My youngest child is now a high school senior; couple this with my brain on motherhood and middle age, and I am now experiencing senioritis 2.0. I define this as “a real affliction of mothers during their youngest child’s final year of high school, characterized by forgetfulness of routine school occurrences, a decline in motivation to participate in school functions, and mood swings ranging from sadness to utter glee.”
I have been a parent of at least one child in the public school system for sixteen years., and an active member of the PTSA for fifteen years. I’ve paid my dues, and I am tired.
Last week, a friend mentioned that report cards come out this week. I hadn’t even realized the first quarter ended.
The window to sign up for parent-teacher conferences is open, and I am signing up for zero.
I played Words with Friends on my phone during fall and winter sports orientation nights. (To be fair, most parents do this, but this year I don’t even feel guilty about it.)
The most recent weekly email from the school system announced, “The 2019-20 calendar has been approved and is now online.” I almost clicked the link, because I’m that person who enters in all the pertinent dates into her calendar immediately. My finger was hovering over my phone screen before I realized that I don’t have to click.
I don’t have to click, because the school calendar will be irrelevant to me by the end of May.
Part of me (okay, the majority of me) is thrilled. I went to school for nineteen years, plus fifteen more as a parent, and I’m as ready to move on as my kids. Part of me is sad to officially say goodbye to that part of my life, because it was a really good part. As a mostly stay-at-home mother, my years of helping out at school or with the PTSA helped fill the void that work left, and I like feeling productive and goal-oriented. Yet:
I can clear out the school supply shelf in my office closet.
I can turn the kids’ “homework room” into something else – anything else.
But:
I won’t be a field hockey or cross country mom anymore.
I won’t run into friends and acquaintances at school events.
I will miss the camaraderie of other parents who are also trying to raise good kids.
This whole year is full of yets and buts. It’s a year full of lasts…we’ve already had the last first day of school, the last cross country meet, the last Homecoming dance, the last first quarter.
It’s a year of lasts followed by a year of firsts, for this kid and for me. Quite unlike myself, I am trying not to think ahead too much. I’m trying to just let it happen, and embrace the change. But whenever the thought of graduation looming feels bittersweet, I focus on the sweet part: I remember that I will never have to pack lunches in the morning again.
I see it as an exciting time both for you and your son! I read somewhere that Michelle Obama said she wasn’t sad about being an empty nester. She raised her kids to be independent and have their own lives. She’s not there to live it for them.
Speaking of Michelle Obama…her autobiography is on my list. That said, I’m looking forward to your top 10 for 2018!
Her autobiography is on my list too! I’d like to listen to it, since she’s the narrator.
It’s so bittersweet – each year I love the new things we can do together but jeez I’d be lying if I said I don’t miss baby him so much. Great photo btw – loving the look on his face and yours. LOL to playing Words with Friends and not feeling guilty about it. BTW I am Kristi C. on there if you want to play!
So bittersweet. LOL to playing Words with Friends and not feeling guilty about it. BTW I am Kristi C. on there if you want to play!
Perfect last sentence to that! I will be excited to see what you do with that homework room.
Me too! I already have a secret Pinterest board with ideas…
Endings and beginnings can be bittersweet. I definitely had seniorits in high school, but not so much in college.
I think I was the same way!
Never packing another school lunch outweighs anything for which you might feel a little nostalgia…
Ha – I think you are right!
I get the bittersweet. It’s both sad and a relief to say goodbye to some of the rituals of childhood. Embrace- I loved that word when you first shared it and I’m clinging hard to it right now (and I have six years left to go- still reeling from sending the first one away.).
Good luck!
Thanks Julia! I feel like the last few years have been bittersweet, although I suppose that’s just part of raising children and letting them go.
I had never heard of senioritis, Dana. Crazy me saw the title and thought it was related to becoming a senior citizen! 😂. But I can see how you’re torn between the freedom that a new season in life will bring, and the old, familiar routines that have been a staple of your life for so long. Here’s to new journeys!
New journeys – yes!
Love your definition of senioritis 2.0. Spot on for me and I have four more years to go. I need a cure! I promise to drag you to a few school events next year to keep reminding you how happy you are to be done. Looking forward to the day I can join you in “retirement“ from lunch packing and PTSA meetings.
Me too! I’ll still go to bingo with you:)
OMG I have it too! And I have a FIRST grader so many years ahead of me. It’s because they take the bus now so I’m so.. not involved. I used to go to that school twice a day and spend time there. That said, it will reset itself, I’m sure. It’s just the weather.
Never having to pack lunches again.. now that sounds nice..
It really does!
Embrace the change. Embrace the boy. I have tears in my eyes, and I am not there yet (I have a lot more lunches to make!)
But hopefully you won’t have to drive your kid to school anymore!
What a big moment! xo
It’s a pretty huge year in our house, Jena!
I nowhere near the last year of school by any means for either of my kids as they are still in elementary school. But my oldest only has one more year of elementary school before middle school starts – so there is that. That said, I can still get that this year has to be bittersweet and enjoyed reading your take on it here, Dana <3
I have to say, as a mom of two fourth graders with LOTS of years ahed of me, most of that seems sweet!! But, of course I totally understand the transition is a rough one, and the things you mentioned about seeing acquaintances and not needing to engage in a school community are definitely sad…although I’m sure a nice European vacation with your husband will cure whatever ails you in that department 🙂 Good luck getting though this last year!! xo
Thanks Allie!