It’s Friday, it’s been a loooooong first week of school, and it’s a holiday weekend. I can’t muster up any brilliance for you today, so I am going to make fun of the lady in my iPhone. I know she’s supposed to be helpful, but most of the time she’s an annoying idiot.
A few weeks ago during the lazy days of summer, my daughter and I were fooling around with my phone and asking Siri all sorts of questions. Okay, we were egging her on. We wanted to see how stupid we could make her look, and here is what we discovered. (For the two of you without an iPhone, my speech bubbles are the ones bolded and in quotes.)
She is a smart ass.
She is afraid to address her own issues.
She knows I hate her but doesn’t seem to care.
She backs down when the pressure is on. She’s a wimp.
She doesn’t understand sarcasm; I don’t really think she rocks. And she’s conceited.
And ignoring the typo (should be “will” not “where”), check out her complete inability to respond appropriately to an insult.
And finally, she may be super smart at math, but what idiot still uses dot matrix printer paper? Get with the times, Siri.
So there you go. This post proves two things:
1. The voice in the phone is not all knowing. She may have book smarts, but she has no common sense.
2. It doesn’t take much to amuse me.
I hope this amused you a little, too. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend!
I was cracking up! I can’t believe some of the responses SIRI gave you. It’s almost bordering on creepy, lol! Glad you and your daughter could entertain yourself.
It is a little creepy, isn’t it? She’s a freak, but she is entertaining!
Hi! Stopping by from Finding the Funny blog hop – loved this post! Perfect title to lure me in 🙂 My daughter and I f*ck with Siri all the time. It’s fun!
Lovin’ your site!!
Leigh (humor writer) over at http://www.leighbones.com
Thanks for stopping by, Leigh! I felt like I was kinda cheating with the funny, since I didn’t provide it, Siri did. But I couldn’t resist 🙂
So funny! It took me a minute to realize that you weren’t talking about Siri Cruise!
Ha! I hope for her parents’ sake that she is much less annoying than phone Siri!
I’m not going to lie. I’ve totally spent A LOT of time doing the same thing. Suri is ridiculous.
I’m glad it’s not just me, Kate. She is ridiculous – but very amusing.
I absolutely love this!! It may not take much to amuse you and I am very much the same way. I feel like giving her my own test! She’s there but I rarely use her. Am thinking I need to for pure entertainment t purposes. 🙂
Have a good weekend!
Yes you do, Kate – see what funny things you can get her to say!
Siri and I have had a falling out more than once. And driving directions? Forget about it. I’d wind up in the middle of nowhere (and have thanks to her!) if it weren’t for Google maps.
I use Google maps for directions too – I don’t trust Siri for that at all!
OMG…if I had one, I’d be doing that all day…asking silly and inappropriate questions and laughing my butt off.
love her response to the slut insult,
Hilarious! The conversations between toddler and Siri are fabulous! I’ve debated recording them and posting a vlog. These are funny, Dana! This is a great Friday post.
I generally *strongly* dislike Siri…however her conversations with my 3 year old…HILARIOUS!
I agree – she is good for entertainment, but not for actually giving you any useful information. You should screen shot some of those conversations!
Playing with Siri is too much fun!
It is – although I don’t know if that was the intention of her creators 🙂
This is so funny! We do this all the time. Our favorite is asking her to sing us a song. She may try to act like she can’t at first but keep asking. You will soon be rewarded with “If I Only Had a Brain”. I also love the new term of “Siri Baiting”.
Really? I can’t wait to try that! And yes, “Siri baiting” is a great term – leave it to Lizzi to come up with that clever term!
I love Siri. Christopher wants me to ask her crazy stuff all the time. My reply, “No, I want her to take me seriously.” LOL!
I bet he would come up with fun things to ask her, Kenya!
ha! I totally think she’s an idiot. This post is exactly my speed today. I hope you have a wonderful weekend!
Thanks Tamara – you too! This silly post was my speed this weekend too.
Mwah ha ha ha! I finally got a phone with Siri… I’ll have to mess with her a little bit.
You should – it’s quite amusing 🙂
The dot matrix paper totally cracked me up. Haven’t seen that in YEARS!
I know, right? My son was using Siri as a calculator and that’s what she answered.
Yes, this amused me greatly too! Also reminded me of the Big Bang Theory episode when Raj “dates” Siri. Cracks me up.
I’m ashamed to say I’ve never watched that show, but I can imagine that would make for a great sitcom episode.
HaHa! I recently got a new iPhone and discovered Siri for the first time. I agree that she is not helpful at all. We have gotten quite a few laughs playing with her!
Yes, she is better for laughs that for actual information. Who needs to download game apps on their phone when you can just harass Siri?
Hahahahahaha. Love this. I’ve never tried to egg Siri on! This will be my new past time!
Because I’m 12, I just asked Siri the woodchuck question Considerer recommended. HA!
How do I get male, English Siri? My Siri says she “doesn’t have an opinion on that” when I ask her where to hide the bodies. What a rip off!! –Lisa
I asked the woodchuck question too. I did read that Siri may be getting a gender change – I wonder if a male Siri would be less annoying? I’m sure he wouldn’t ask for directions 😉
As soon as I saw the title of your post I knew I was going to love it! I spend lots of time telling Siri that she is stupid!!! I really thought she was going to be more help – not so! Her standard response – “I can search the world-wide web.” Uh, so can I!!!
I like to mess with her, too – my husband just rolls his eyes at my juvenile entertainment but my boys enjoy it!!!
Thanks for a good laugh today!!
Juvenile entertainment is underrated. Glad to give you a laugh – going to check out your Friday funnies too 🙂
I am not lucky enough to have an Iphone but the android does have a little personal assistant built in and I enjoy baiting it too from time to time. This is a really nice post to end the week with a laugh 🙂
I’m glad it made you laugh – I wanted something light to kick off the weekend. Have a great one!
Apparently I am easily amused too because I thought this was hysterical. First the coat made of human hair from The Dose Girls, now Siri…I need to try this! LOL Have a great weekend Dana!
Ooh – off to check out the human hair coat! And I bet your kids would love coming up with funny things to ask Siri – just another thing to cram into your holiday weekend. Have a great one, Michelle!
Totally did amuse me and the math teacher in me giggled at that last one being on matrix paper. Didn’t even know that still existed, lol!! Enjoy your weekend now!! 🙂
I doubt it does exist anymore – that cracked me up. I remember tearing off those edges before handing in papers (jeez, I’m dating myself…)
It’s still weird to read this, because English Siri is a very well-spoken man.
And if you ask him things like ‘Where do I hide the bodies’ he tells you a list of morgues, quarries, graveyards, dumps and rivers in your area.
I love the little ‘Easter Eggs’ they built in.
Try asking her ‘How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood’
I love Siri-baiting (when I get the chance – I’m not rich enough to be an iPerson)
I did – love it! Siri-baiting should be a new word; it is a very fun way to pass the time!