Most people make resolutions on New Year’s Day; I make them on the first day of summer. I resolve to go to cool places with my kids, visit with friends, eat more produce, and go for walks in the buggy twilight.
I often have grand plans for summer, and then I’m disappointed in myself when they don’t happen.
This year, my only plan is to be fully present in my daughter’s seventeenth summer, and my son’s fourteenth. They won’t want to spend every moment with me, and the feeling is mutual. But I don’t want to watch from a distance, or from behind a computer screen.
This summer I will take the trip of a lifetime with Matt and the kids. It is the first time that any of us will fly over the Atlantic; I have spent hours booking, shopping, packing, planning and worrying. We will stand in the Colosseum, gaze up in the Sistine Chapel, stroll the streets of Florence, ride along the canals of Venice, and climb the Swiss Alps.
This summer, I will back off on writing with the intent to publish, and instead invest the time in writing just to write. I will not set deadlines or expectations, which is a complete departure for me. I don’t want blogging to wear me down, so I give myself permission to step back and let life step forward.
This summer I will read books.
Oops. Just four paragraphs ago I declared that my only plan is to be fully present this summer. Yet here I go again, listing the goals and ideas I want to accomplish during these ten weeks. Seventy days of summer vacation isn’t enough.
I can’t create more days, but I can control how much we do during those days. I can separate the Need to Do from the Probably Should Do and the Want to Do.
Need to Do:
- Help Gwen start college applications and essays.
- Make sure the kids condition and run for their fall sports.
That’s it. The brevity of this list amazes me; I always feel like I have so much to do. Technically, these aren’t even my responsibilities. I will add
3. Be present.
That’s mine. That’s all. I can do this.
Probably Should Do:
This list isn’t worth making. It is everything that isn’t need to or want to, and these are the items that get ignored every summer. If I leave that list empty, I shouldn’t feel guilty about not completing it. I will feel guilty anyway, but at least I won’t have tangible proof of failure.
My Want to Do things are the ones that will happen if I limit the rushing and the doing and the Need to Dos; they are the moments in between.
Want to Do:
- Sit on my butt at the pool.
- Shop at the farmer’s market and try some new salad recipes.
- Walk with friends.
- Watch Orange is the New Black and Ray Donovan.
- Be present.
I got this.
What are your plans for this summer?
Be present and watch OITNB. Those are my “need to do” this summer. LOL Actually, we just moved to Florida so I guess summer is a year-long thing and we don’t have to squeeze everything into just 3 months!
Yes, a move with three kids will take up lots of time, I’m sure. Hope you have some time to relax this summer, Gracielle!
I love your summer!! It’s funny these days we have to plan to be present and we are ALL guilty of it….I go to a concert, take my photo, then put my phone away and become present…live in the moment. I constantly preach that in my yoga classroom too ..especially because I need the reminder myself:)
Yes – be present! That would be why I haven’t posted in three weeks…the longest I’ve gone since I started blogging. It feels good 🙂
Your summer thoughts sound a lot like mine…
May your summer be all that you hope it will be! Safe travels!
Thanks Lisa!
Every time I read your posts I’m thinking, “She’s so smart, that’s exactly right.” I’ve been thinking a lot about summer and what I do and don’t want to do. It’s so short, especially when you start taking out the traveling/trips. That time at home in the day to day is brief. I’m looking forward to all of it but mostly being able to spend time with each of my kids in that day to day and getting to know them better – they are changing so quickly and they spend so much time involved with sports and school – I’m looking for the down time, looking forward to the down time.
Also, as many others mentioned I’m really excited for your family trip and reading all about it and seeing your photos. Did you take the photos in this post? The last one is my fave.
No…I wish! They are stock photos – I still stink at photography.
I’m looking forward to the down time too. I agree with what you said about getting to know the kids better, and I think that’s one of the reasons I love traveling with them. There is so much time to chat as we explore, and I feel like we bond without them even realizing it.
I’m planning on doing it all, writing a novel, being present and traveling. I just know there will be a time for everything and nothing will be all of the time. Sounds like you will have a fantastic summer. Have fun.
Thanks April – you too!
Sounds like a great plan to me and I have to figure out one myself so I am not behind the computer all the time too! Your trip sounds amazing…I cannot wait to hear about it and see the pictures!!
You’ll be hearing plenty, and hopefully a few of the pics will turn out well.
You’re in trouble if you sit down for a Netflix series. LOL! That 70 days is going to fly by. I really hope to accomplish putting years worth of pictures in a real photo album. We are going on vacation next week and then we will have 60 ish days to wing it with the rest of the summer. Enjoy your vacationing!
You too Kenya! And btw, I’ve already watched 4 episodes of the new season of Orange is the New Black. Matt started watching with me, so it will take much longer to get through now.
So excited for your summer trip! And that sounds like a fantastic summer plan. It truly does boil down to the necessary. Anything else is extra!
So true, Nina. Now I just have to practice what I preach!
You’ve got a great summer ahead of you, no matter what. Your trip will be awesome — it’s this kind of trip of which family memories and bonding are made. And you’ll find plenty of time for finding fresh produce, and sitting by the pool. I suspect that you’ll be present; it’s not that hard. Just take a moment a few times a day to take a breath and be happy with what is around you. Happy Summer!
You too, Anna!
ahhhh europe! so excited for you. will be a family trip of a lifetime. enjoy every minute of it!!!
Thanks, Catherine! I’m really looking forward to sharing this adventure with the kids and Matt.
I love that you’re giving yourself permission to step back and let life step forward. Yes and Yes! All those expectations are usually self imposed. This is such an important time in your life and your children’s life. Oh your trip sounds so wonderful. Enjoy every minute Dana.
Thank you so much – I plan on it!
Be present – love it! The traveler in me is already excited for you about your European adventure. I dream of doing that when my kids are older and could (hopefully) appreciate it.
I’m excited too, and I know my kids are the perfect age to get tons out of this trip.
Brilliant separation of “tasks” Dana. My need to dos? Clean out the clutter (I actually like doing this but never have the time), slow down (aka sit on my butt at the pool), read more, be present. Have a wonderful time in Italy. We were there last summer and it was molto bene.xx
Thanks, Lisa. Clean out the clutter was on my should do list, and I may get to it. I like doing it too, but then my kids just fill the clutter back up!
Sounds like a perfect summer, Dana!
Your writing intentions are so wonderfully inspiring. And this fall my son will be playing football for the first time ever, so I completely appreciate your goal of conditioning the kids for fall sports.
Bon voyage and safe travels to you all – so excited for your family and the beautiful adventure ahead!
Football – wow! My freshman is going out for cross country…somewhat different conditioning.
Bella. Gelato. Roma. And there you have it. The extent of my Italian. Am thoroughly jealous of your holiday plans and am over the moon with happiness for you and your family. So much fun. I am heading out to an Italian wedding in Toronto later in the summer. I’ll shut my eyes and pretend I’m in Rome. Right after I demand to know who amongst the bride’s relatives is fluent in Italian.
That sounds fun! I don’t know any Italian, but my Spanish is passable. Hopefully that will make it a little easier to read signs and menus. And I have my trusty translator app!
Oooh… I just love this Dana!! It reminds me of my Master List in many ways. I LOVE that you didn’t even write your “should do” list!! That is brave. Very very brave!! I wish I could let go of that mighty long list! It keeps going and going and going…
I think I will sift through it and see just how I ‘should’ let it all go… ack! SO hard.
YOUR TRIP!!! HOLY GUACAMOLE THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!!! Wow. What an experience of a lifetime Dana!! I can’t wait to see pics and hear all about it!!
Thanks, Chris – we are so excited! It’s funny; I didn’t realize how much of the “should do” list was really not important until I started writing it out. So much of it are demands on put on myself, but ones that no one else would notice if they weren’t accomplished.
Your trip with the kids sounds so fantastic. I can’t wait to read all about it (whenever you get to it – no deadlines, right). I’m looking forward to being able to have summers like that with our kids…just another decade or so do go, right?
Right! 🙂
Sounds like you have a wonderful summer planned!
We do – can’t wait!
Love this. I’m working on being more present. Some days are better than others.
I hear ya. There’s always tomorrow when I fail at today…
This is a very special summer for you and your family. Hats off to you for pledging to be present and for taking a spectacular family trip. It is something that you will all remember for a lifetime! Happy summer!!
Happy summer to you too Mo!
Your list sounds perfect! Mine definitely includes stepping back from blogging a a bit so I can focus on other projects, but also so I can enjoy summer more. I’d love to take Eve to the beach or pool a bunch this summer, especially since she loves water. I hope you have a wonderful trip, I can’t wait to read about it!
Thanks Bev – I’ll write a bunch when we get back!
Wow, I’m sure you are excited for your trip. I love eating yummy salads.
I do too; I just don’t love making them. I would love to change that this summer though.
Love it! I hope you have a wonderful time on your trip! I’ve been to London & Paris, but Italy and Venice are on my list. 🙂 I hope your summer turns out to be exactly what you want it to be!
So do I Lisa!
YES! I’m so excited for your trip Dana! And your plans – perfection. I want those plans as well and here’s to writing for writing’s sake! xo
Hey you should link this up with FTSF tonight. The prompt is “This summer…” (or maybe you knew that? you probably knew that…)
I did know – I wrote it for FTSF! I just posted it early because I haven’t written anything else this week…
3. Be present.
That’s mine. That’s all. I can do this.
Excellent post. x
Thanks, Kim!
I’d like to make some good salads, to be honest! And sit on my butt all day.
I’d also love to take a family trip to Italy. Since you once said I was you, but ten years ago, does this mean I get to be as cool as you in ten years?? Because I want that.
Yes, that means you will go to Italy in ten years with your 16 and 13 year olds. And you will have a fabulous time. I bet there are amazing cookies in Italy. And gelato.
Yes, yes, yes…be present and enjoy. It sounds like you are going to have a fantastic summer
That’s the plan! 😉
I love your lists. But most of all – I love your travel plans! Me, I’m just road tripping it, and yes, probably stepping back a bit from blogging. But I want some more pool/beach time and farmer’s market shopping.
I love my travel plans too! I can’t believe it’s almost here. You’re not “just” road tripping it, though – I think your trips are pretty impressive!
Awh I love your summer list. You’re a good mom 🙂 I hope you get some of the want-to list in as well though. This summer I’m going to work and carry on as normal and GET EXCITED ABOUT SEPTEMBER!!!
YES!!! I sometimes get the end of summer blues, but anticipating your visit will make me much less blue-y and much more glittery. Yippee!!
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE* I’m already SO EXCITEDDDDDDDD
This is fantastic, Dana! I laughed when you started to make a list, but I understand the desire, yet as you infer here, summer is the perfect time to cast them aside and be present. I am going to try that too, as well as backing off my blog deadlines. There is a novel to finish after all…
Yay for novels! I don’t have one to finish writing, but I have plenty to read. Looking forward to reading yours one day!
Your summer is going to be fabulous! I know that you will blogging and sharing pictures and I can not wait to read all about your trip of a lifetime! Have a wonderful time!
Thank you Pattie!
Great post. Summer is my favorite season of the year, one in which I plan not to plan. Sitting by the pool, reading books, connecting with friends in real life and being present. Perfect.
Plan not to plan…exactly!
great plans, looks very similar to mine, except for the awesome trip you have planned! I look forward to the day the kids are old enough and we can go to Europe. =) I just said to my little ones, that this is the summer of adventure for us, I just want to be outside exploring the world with them…my favorite thing to do! =)
That sounds wonderful, Jennifer! Our exploration have become a bit more global, but I remember the summers when just being outside was an adventure.
I’d like to sit on my butt by the pool with you.
So lovely. All of it.
xo
I would love that, Jena – two gals, just sitting on their butts. Sounds heavenly.
YES to this!!!! In my head I want to back off from the blog, writing, etc all summer and be fully present and fully enjoy. If I have the courage to do that remains to be seen.
I cannot wait to follow your travels (however sparse the updates) on your ‘trip of a lifetime’
Thanks Allie. I may post on my personal FB page, and there will be plenty in this space when we get back!
Great plans and trying to back off when I can this summer, as well. 😉
I hear Mickey calling you, Janine!